All About Her · Getting Started

Female Authority

As our society’s definition of authority evolves, women are the new men.

As you take a moment to think about that, it might actually have some truth to it. I know women have been the primary household authority for years. My mother was, my grandmother was and probably generations before that. As traditional gender roles have gone, the man goes to work and does his job and the woman is the ruler of her household.

It seems that this view of gender roles is changing and evolving. Men need authority and structure in their lives and that seems to be progressing out of the household and into the world. Female breadwinners are becoming more and more common and the male role can be flexible. In a previous forum comment someone suggested that we needed to look at both genders multi-dimensionally because the world is changing and so are our roles. As we progress as a society, roles are no longer tied to gender.

While the blog is titled female authority, I am certainly not advocating that female is the authority in all things. I am suggesting that females CAN be the authority in relationships and in the workplace. I find myself craving a more 50/50 split with orgasm control as the great equalizer.

Think about your current or past relationships:

  • Who drives the car?
  • Who manages the finances?
  • Who asks whom when making major purchases?
  • Who works? If both work, who earns more money or has more workplace prestige?
  • Who cooks? Who cleans?
  • Which of you is courting the other? Do you find yourself asking him out on dates or is he asking you out on dates together?
  • Who typically provides emotional support?
  • Who is more dominant? Who is more submissive?
  • Who initiates sex?
  • Who dictates when sex happens? Who is more sexually frustrated?
  • Do you transition sexual roles in your relationship?

All of these things will vary from person to person and may even change over time as jobs come and go. Perhaps you’ve been the dominant force in one relationship but that same role doesn’t suit you in the next. As women gain confidence about more active roles, how does this change things in the bedroom? If you want to take more control, tease him. Teasing and denial aren’t about sexual foreplay, they are about power.

Sex is a huge part of any relationship and it typically reflects the dynamic of the relationship. You make a strong sexual statement when you transition sexual roles and take a more active approach in initiating sex, role reversal or even pegging and chastity. If he initiates the pegging or demands to be locked in chastity, roles haven’t truly changed he simply is asking that cater to his fetish. I would challenge you to do only what comes natural for you sexually but when you find something that engages your carnal side, embrace it and demand it. If you simply want to be on top from time to time, do it! If you want to completely replace PIV sex with pegging, do it! If you want to do some combination that better suits your sexual desires, make sure that you communicate your needs to your partner and do it!

The moral of the story is, fully engage yourself in your relationship and embrace the level of authority that you feel comfortable with. Allow your confidence and authority to permeate into your sexual relationship and demand a sexual relationship that is both fulfilling and exciting for you. Don’t just take the cards that you were dealt and entertain the needs of your husband or boyfriend. Relationships are hard work so make sure that you are making your relationship work for both of you.

Neither of you is superior, only love is superior. Love yourselves and love each other. Embrace what makes you both happiest. <3

4 thoughts on “Female Authority

  1. “As traditional gender roles have gone, the man goes to work and does his job and the woman is the ruler of her household.”

    Are you saying that your ideal relationship is a man working outside the home and supporting his more dominant female partner at home?

    I know there are a lot of men who like your view of the world and I applaud the fact that you are an advocate for greater female power and carving out islands of relationship power for women.


    1. I am really just stating the traditional roles. I feel like school and work come and go. We have periods where one of us may have a great job and other times when we need a year off. I think that we should ebb and flow with the punches that life gives us. If one of us wants to take a year off for grad school or to pursue a non-paying goal of some kind, it should be embraced. I don’t have an ideal, everyone is different and we should all do what makes us happy. It does take two to tango so we need to make sure that our partners are on board or we will have a huge mess of resentment to clean up.

      What is your view of the world?

      1. “What is your view of the world?”

        As I read your blog entries, I would say we both lean toward more dominant roles. From the time I was a young man, I knew I preferred a relationship where the man is dominant and the female more submissive. In my experience, many women become stronger under the leadership of a dominant, but loving man. Women tend to be guided more by emotions and feelings and a *good* man who has a dedication to fair and just rules (and punishments) creates a strong foundation for the growth of a woman. When women have good, strong men in their lives they tend to be happier and suffer from lesser degrees of depression in my experience. Now, as a male dominant, I do expect her to receive regular sessions of spanking and provide long and satifying oral. I do not consider it selfish because I think good men always keep their woman’s needs first in their mind. These women have no better advocate and no better friend. But I know that not all dominant men are good and this type of relationship is not for everyone.

        I have no problem with a woman satisfying the traditional role of a man as the rule maker if she is *good* and dedicated to fair and just rules. If she is playing dominant just to satisfy her ego and is not her partner’s best advocate and friend, then I would suggest she reconsider the role. But there is nothing saying women can’t do all the roles traditionally held by men just as well.

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