For those of you who have been around a while, you know that I’m never one to be afraid of feeding the trolls. Something about the the site or my experiences with Kevin must trigger people. In any case, I received the comment below and decided to publish it as a blog to encourage discussion rather than delete it or hide it in the comments below another blog.
I did reach out to the author to see if he would allow me to publish his nickname beside the comment but he didn’t respond so he can remain anonymous, I’ll just call him TantraGuy.
It’s a shame how ignorant one can be towards “Male” Psychology.
-TantraGuy
What you are doing stems from a deep rooted fear of being left in the dust by a man, at some point. Maybe there were previous men who led you down this path of never wanting to be hurt, left or cheated on by another man again, but here is the sad news. You are not dating men. These are boys trapped in a man’s body. Psychologically you are practically dating children from a mental standpoint. I am a man, I do love women and I actually practice tantra for over 12 years now. I orasm once every 6 weeks and I would say I am highly sexually active and not in a relationship with any of the women I spend time with. Where you fail is where the boys who are with you fail. Part of being a man, is not the cliche of being strong enough to build a house with those muscles, sure this might be a small part of it, I mean we do need buildings in this world to work and live in after all. Men are to be strong MENTALLY. Hence why I said you have never been with a man if they choose to participate in this selfish game being played by your own projections and deep-rooted fears from your past.
Let’s put this into perspective. Since I told you I orgasm once every 6 weeks. These boys you are with who are begging for your crumbs, are actually weak due to their own bad habits. Masterbation being the central theme here. When a man cuts out masterbation, he actually develops mental strength, this means when a woman like yourself comes along and makes her requests, he laughs rather than participates. If you and I were together for example, (this would never happen trust me) I would be practicing ejaculation every 6 weeks anyways. So there is no hold over me, my mental endurance and strength is at its peak before any woman came along. I tell men all the time who get into dynamics like yours (but not by choice) by being manipulated. I tell them it’s not the woman you want at all, they think they love her, they obsess over her, they put her on a pedestal, but its an illusion. It’s the man’s lack of control over his own “member”, if he control that, there is no women on earth that can control him! So what I am trying to say is these boys do not obey you because they want to please you, or they love you, they obey you because they are a slave to their own selfish desires. Sorry to wake you up here, but this is coming from a man who also has studied psychology. Sometimes it takes being something to simply understand it. Other times not so much. Thats were you have it twisted. You may study psychology, but you DO NOT understand the psychology of men. The sad part is, you must hold this “game” for as long as possible, if not you are doomed to the very fears that got your operating like this to begin with. All in all, try finding a man who is open to what you are talking about from day one. Someone you are genuinely compatible with. That way no manipulative games need to be played forever to keep him interested. This man will stay with you because he actually is compatible and loves you, not because he is deluded by his own slavery to his libido… If he ever did decide to practice tantra on his own one day, say goodbye to your relationship and hello to the very fears that frighten you the most. He will move on to find a higher value woman as he develop strength that are much stronger than your shackles.
I’m not singling out TantraGuy. I probably receive three or four messages or comments a month that are similar to this one. I want to make something abundantly clear. Kevin and I are both in a relationship because we want to be in a relationship. The game we play is undoubtedly a game that we both enjoy and brings happiness to our relationship.
TantraGuy explains how he practices tantra and I’ve gone down that road as well. The blogs from YogaGirl set me down that path and while I’ve not practiced for 12 years like TantraGuy, I do find it incredibly interesting. Like Yoga, tantra is about physical and spiritual awareness. Tantric sex is specifically about creating a deep connection and sexual awareness. Meditation, self massage and masturbation are all great ways to experience tantra either with yourself or with a partner.
I am new to tantra and I understand that like yoga, men and women can spend a lifetime trying to understand tantra. Do you have any tantric experiences that you can share? So what do you think? Do you agree with TantraGuy? Differing opinions are always welcome here so don’t be shy, let me know what you think.
What an arrogant ass.
He talks about enlightenment yet only his point of view is correct. Then goes to great lengths to prove it.
Very enlightened.
Hi There,
Thought I’d comment on your query as there is no point in trying to untangle what I currently understand from what TantraGuy wrote.
Like you I consider what you and Kevin have to be a role-playing game that adds some ‘spice’ to everyday existence.
For background Annie and I are a happily married couple 43 years now. As far as labels go I am ‘non-binary’ according to the latest effort to rigidly classify human sexuality. Other labels could be “MTF trans” and I have been on HRT for a couple of years, mainly to assuage gender life-long dysphoria. I am deeply into femdom “impressions” and play – Annie, less so, but She indulges my inclinations because I am “happier” than when she does not. I am currently kept in a chaste state – but only for the past month or so.
Now, Emma, to your question… (btw – our sixth grandchild, born on International Women’s Day) is named Emma as well.
From a spiritual perspective, since Tantra touches on that subject, sexual energy is a more potent form psychic energy than is generated for the day-today performance and reaction to “the events of life”; thinking, sensing (seeing, hearing, feeling), moving your muscles, digesting food, breathing. It is a more potent energy because it is Creative.
Creative energy is essential to Nature to ensure survival of any given species reproduce in sufficient quantities to replace those organisms, like itself, consumed by Nature’s “digestive processes”. The mutually dependent processes of Creation and Destruction are intended to remain balanced – one to the other.
My understanding of Tantra is the harnessing of this more potent form of energy with the aim of having it “infuse” the other chakras – energy centers of the body – with the higher quality, less dense, more explosive form of energy. The culmination of which is the mixing of this ‘creative’ energy with the crown chakra with the aim of achieving “Enlightenment”.
There are stated dangers involved in such practices. This is mainly due to the volatile nature of this sexual (creative) energy being present in the chakras that typically do not use that “rarefied” form of energy, nervous movements, emotional outbursts, violence, delusional thinking, narcissism and psychosis can be the “side-effects” when this energy mingles in the motor, emotional and intellectual energy centers of individuals who are “unfamiliar” (for lack of a better word) with its potency. For example, in me, ‘leaks’ of this sort of energy in me lead to my imagining all sorts of predicaments to be inflicted upon me – that I wish Annie follow through on. I am assuming every Dominant Woman can see this going on in their submissives regardless of gender identity.
In this round-about way I can agree with TantraGuy’s assertion that it is “not you” that a submissive needs. At the same time TantraGuy misses that it is “not him” that has achieved “his practice”. It is that same energy working through his imagination acting on what he “imagines it is to be a man”.
As you say you can spend a lifetime trying to understand yoga or tantra so I’ll leave it here for the time being and won’t go into experiences or details unless there is a desire to so.
Thanks for the opportunity to respond.
Warm regards,
jade44
First off, I want to say that I am glad that you are able to be your true self. <3
How do you find that the HRT impacts the traditionally male hormones that are created by the physical parts that you were born with? Do you find that many of the traditionally male characteristics disappear with HRT, do you intentionally suppress them or did they never exist in a pronounced way?
Anyway, I don't mean to get hung up on your transition but gender studies are really starting to fascinate me. Sorry to get dwell there. I'd love to discuss in more detail on the forum if you feel so compelled.
In any case, I think you sum it up exceptionally well with this paragraph:
In this round-about way I can agree with TantraGuy’s assertion that it is “not you” that a submissive needs. At the same time TantraGuy misses that it is “not him” that has achieved “his practice”. It is that same energy working through his imagination acting on what he “imagines it is to be a man”.
Thanks for your comment. I think you will find this to be an exceptionally welcoming place where you can freely express your thoughts.
Hi Emma,
Thanks for the welcome.
We can discuss my impressions around transitioning. We’ll just need to agree on some basic concepts – like understanding the difference between societal conditioning of human beings vs. the impact of male hormones on behavior. But the answer to your first question is yes, of course, HRT affects the males hormone levels and the physical parts I was born with.
In terms of male characteristics I’m assuming you mean from a behavioral perspective. The answer to that question is a little bit complex and this is where the discrimination is needed between societal conditioning and hormone driven manifestations.
If you’re referring to male characteristics in the physical sense then I’m agnostic on my gender as I identify as non-binary. That is, I do not have a preference for pronouns nor do I have an issue presenting as male or female. In public I present as male due to the size of my frame – 6′ 3″. In terms of other changes my facial features have softened. My breasts are developing and I’ve lost upper body strength and I am also developing a waist and hips.
Let me know of any other questions or if you’d like to discuss something in more detail. As you might imagine I find the whole thing utterly fascinating myself <3.
I'm glad you found the comment on Tantra useful. I realize that the other parts of that response were of a "general nature". I felt it important to provide some context as I understand Tantra as a Westerner and how I use it) for those who might be unfamiliar with the concept and to also note that, as with any pleasure generating activity, there are some downside risks since I essentially consider orgasm denial and chastity to be Tantric practices.
Warm regards,
John
Hi There,
Thought I’d comment on your query as there is no point in trying to untangle what I currently understand from what TantraGuy wrote.
Like you I consider what you and Kevin have to be a role-playing game that adds some ‘spice’ to everyday existence.
For background Annie and I are a happily married couple 43 years now. As far as labels go I am ‘non-binary’ according to the latest effort to rigidly classify human sexuality. Other labels could be “MTF trans” and I have been on HRT for a couple of years, mainly to assuage gender life-long dysphoria. I am deeply into femdom “impressions” and play – Annie, less so, but She indulges my inclinations because I am “happier” than when she does not. I am currently kept in a chaste state – but only for the past month or so.
Now, Emma, to your question… (btw – our sixth grandchild, born on International Women’s Day) is named Emma as well.
From a spiritual perspective, since Tantra touches on that subject, sexual energy is a more potent form psychic energy than is generated for the day-today performance and reaction to “the events of life”; thinking, sensing (seeing, hearing, feeling), moving your muscles, digesting food, breathing. It is a more potent energy because it is Creative.
Creative energy is essential to Nature to ensure survival of any given species reproduce in sufficient quantities to replace those organisms, like itself, consumed by Nature’s “digestive processes”. The mutually dependent processes of Creation and Destruction are intended to remain balanced – one to the other.
My understanding of Tantra is the harnessing of this more potent form of energy with the aim of having it “infuse” the other chakras – energy centers of the body – with the higher quality, less dense, more explosive form of energy. The culmination of which is the mixing of this ‘creative’ energy with the crown chakra with the aim of achieving “Enlightenment”.
There are stated dangers involved in such practices. This is mainly due to the volatile nature of this sexual (creative) energy being present in the chakras that typically do not use that “rarefied” form of energy, nervous movements, emotional outbursts, violence, delusional thinking, narcissism and psychosis can be the “side-effects” when this energy mingles in the motor, emotional and intellectual energy centers of individuals who are “unfamiliar” (for lack of a better word) with its potency. For example, in me, ‘leaks’ of this sort of energy in me lead to my imagining all sorts of predicaments to be inflicted upon me – that I wish Annie follow through on. I am assuming every Dominant Woman can see this going on in their submissives regardless of gender identity.
In this round-about way I can agree with TantraGuy’s assertion that it is “not you” that a submissive needs. At the same time TantraGuy misses that it is “not him” that has achieved “his practice”. It is that same energy working through his imagination acting on what he “imagines it is to be a man”.
As you say you can spend a lifetime trying to understand yoga or tantra so I’ll leave it here for the time being and won’t go into experiences or details unless there is a desire to so.
Thanks for the opportunity to respond.
Warm regards,
Hello,
First of all, congratulations because I can’t imagine the number of more or less “aggressive” messages you receive every day.
I will try to bring my point of view although I am not familiar with tantric sex.
From my point of view the author of the message is mistaken of basic reference. I don’t doubt that tantric sex can be an incredible experience, however I don’t see how the elements you develop on your blog would be inferior to it. The encagement is, it seems to me, initially a token of extreme confidence in his partner. A kind of way to live one’s sexuality in a different way while sharing the mental load of each partner to reach a deeper connection. Even if this is first and foremost a sexual game, I believe that it can lead far beyond that.
The author’s problem is that he judges his practice in relation to yours, but for me they are in some way different although they can be complementary.
Wow. I am sorry that you have to endure this, Emma, and more so if you give it any credit.
Human sexual psychology is in its infancy yet Tantraguy knows it all? An embarrasing show of male ego!
You may or may not value the security a cage brings, but you were always open with Kevin up front, and I bet money he isn’t a boy. Many (most) succesful chastity relationships start only after a loving relationship is forged – something Tantraguy doesnt seem to value. A true Man uses sex as a way to reinforce a relationship, not avoid one, and a stronger man is not afraid to expose his “belly” to the woman he loves and trusts (especially if it creates a deeper, happier, connection for both).
Tantra seems fascinating, but if it is going to turn me into the egotistical prik that Tantraguy is then no thanks (no offense Tantra, and any self or honor chastity folks, pretty sure this was an ego-in-search of-a-platform case).
Keep it up Emma, you are of immeasurable “value”.