He is gay so he likes penis. She is gay so she likes vagina. They are bi so they like both. Then you throw a throw in trans and that whole equation gets more complicated. I love beautiful women but I am not a huge fan of the girl parts down there. A beautiful woman with a penis is a wonderful invention. I am attracted to the femininity of a beautiful woman, the masculinity of a beautiful man and everything in between.
What about the parts that I don’t necessarily love? I really enjoy her curves and breasts but her vagina? I can take it or leave it. How about a masculine trans person with a vagina? It doesn’t change things for me. I enjoy his masculinity and I am attracted that that masculinity but I don’t care so much for his vagina.
Does that make me some sort of bigot, sexist or transphobe? Maybe. You tell me. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know anything about transgender community. Like many others, I get most of my transgender education from pop culture and porn. I acknowledge that I am certainly not giving these wonderful people their due since these are probably the worst two places I can go. Nevertheless, this is the context that I am working with.
With that in mind, we have four types of people.
- Those that identify as male and have male parts.
- Those that identify as male and have female parts.
- Those that identify as female and have female parts.
- Those that identify as female and have male parts.
So if #1 and #3 get down and dirty, everything is alright but any of the others want to netflix-n-chill then suddenly a group of people has a problem with it?
What about #2 and #4? That’s still a boy and a girl with boy parts and girl parts doing the nasty-nasty. That one is still off limits somehow? I just think it is all silly. Just love who you want to love and be who you want to be. Life is too short, don’t overthink it.
Have you ever heard the term skoliosexual? I hadn’t until I went down a rabbit hole of research that I often find myself in. Skoliosexual is when you are aroused by middle school scoliosis exams. I am only joking of course. The actual definition is that you are attracted to nonbinary people. Other words such as allotroposexual or ceterosexual also define the same sexuality.
Why define it?
Why do we feel it necessary to define our sexuality with terms? Why can’t we just love everyone and experience love in the context that it happens. During our lives, we experience the feeling of love with three or maybe five people for those of us who are lucky. Do we really feel like those five people are enough to need a word to define our sexuality? By limiting our sexuality with a word, I feel that we we are not only closing doors but closing our mind to possibilities. You may find yourself gravitating to a certain group of people through your life but allowing that to evolve and grow over time is what makes us human and what makes us unique.
The Obligatory Apology
I know that I am being overly simplistic and frankly I am speaking out of turn when it comes to discussions of gender and sexuality since I am the most boring of the bunch. A mostly straight white female. For those I offended, I apologize. I invite you to inform me on anything that I may be missing or point me to a discourse to help better inform me about this topic that I find incredibly interesting.
Just know that my heart comes from a place of love and curiosity, I mean no disrespect or disregard for feelings. Regardless of your sexuality or gender identity, you are no less of a person than I and your opinions and feelings matter no less than mine. Love you!