I’ve been trying to become more active on my twitter and I’ve come across yet another artist that I love and want to share with you. @burdle does some awesome sketches about chastity and small penis humiliation that really bring out the emotion and the fantasy of this popular fetish. I’ll be sprinkling a few of his sketches in with this blog, please check out his twitter if you like these work, he has tons of great stuff just like them. A big thanks for letting me use them!
So what is small penis humiliation?
SPH or small penis humiliation is a fetish that is popular among many men because the penis is so closely related to his perception of his own vitality and manliness. Since pleasing a woman is important to most men, a larger member seems like it would be the key to being able to satisfy a woman. Fetishes are the body’s way of turning pain into pleasure. In some cases, this is physical pain and other cases it is emotional pain. This can be feelings of powerlessness turning into chastity or bondage fetishes. The body actually makes those feelings feel arousing which helps as a coping mechanism and actually makes us seek out our greatest fear for the arousal that it inspires.
Men produce more sperm, have more forceful ejaculations and have higher testosterone when they feel competitive to other men. SPH and associated fetishes play directly into the theory of sperm competition and give the man an enormous rush. Despite feeling humiliated, men with a SPH fetish will likely get very hard when you play with this fetish. Start with some gentle teasing and push it as you watch his responses. There is really no harm from playing with this fetish if you go slowly and remind him afterwards that he is more than enough man for you. Aftercare, as it were.
How important is size?
This is something deeply rooted in the male psyche, we all know that penis size alone is certainly not the determining factor in the selection of a boyfriend or husband. I personally think that penis size plays some sort of part in the formative years of a man and the way he relates to women. If he has a huge one, every sexual experience was probably accompanied by ooh’s and aah’s as his partners examined the monster unfolding in front of their eyes. That validation time and time again probably fueled a massive amount of confidence about his sexual prowess. On the flip size, men with smaller ones probably developed more emotional relationships prior to unboxing their goods once they realized that it wasn’t going to garner the oohs and aahs of their larger counterparts.
To men I think size determines their sexual confidence. Men with large ones feel proud and men with smaller ones feel ashamed. While from personal experience I know that a larger one absolutely does not guarantee a good time, it does seem to offer a different type of sex. I wrote a blog some time back where I professed to like the smaller ones better. I’ll save you the reading but I find that I am capable of a deeper connection with a man with a normal sized penis. A larger penis might be fun for a fling or a one night stand but I don’t feel like Mr. Big Penis is capable of a deep intimate connection like Mr. Normal Penis might be. Do I have proof of my assumption? Absolutely not, it is drawn from a sample size of me and a few friends that I’ve discussed this topic with.
I’ve never been with a guy who has a small penis. This may seem strange since our society tells us that tiny dicked guys walk among us on a daily basis. Most of the guys who identify as small are in the 5 to 6 inch range. News flash, sex is still fun with normal penis. In fact you might get sex more frequently since it doesn’t make us sore afterwards. Another news flash, if she says “it’s nice to not feel sore afterwards” that probably means you aren’t setting any world records.
SPH and Cuckold
A man who is self conscious about a small penis can often feel self conscious about losing his wife or girlfriend to a more sexually endowed male. This can often make the SPH fetish bleed into the feelings of inadequacy and sexualization of that fear. Sexualization of inadequacy is the body’s way of emotionally preparing for a potential loss of a partner and thus a cuckold fetish is born. The cuckold fetish is very common as men get older and have been dumped a time or two. In the back of their mind they tell themselves things like “if my penis was bigger, she wouldn’t have left”. The cuckolding fetish is about male inadequacy and the sexualization of that fear.
Men feel inadequate for so many reasons such as height, penis size, income and other societally imposed male gender norms. In much the same way that women feel inadequate due to society’s expectation that we are all a size 1 with large breasts, men see a porno and realize that they don’t have a ten inch penis. They now are somewhat less than what they feel that they need to be to please a woman. Masturbation and porn do have negatives in that they reinforce these stereotypes.
SPH and Chastity
As the SPH fetish draws on inadequacy for the relation to cuckolding, it draws the same for male chastity. The implication is that a man with a smaller penis is inadequate and should therefore be locked. The cage is a punishment for being less than. The cage increases submissiveness, emotional response and obedience which are traits that are sometimes already common in men with smaller penises. The locking of a small penis is an acknowledgement and acceptance of having a smaller penis and again a sexualization of their smaller bits and pieces. SPH is of course not the only reason for chastity, there are plenty of big guys who are into chastity but the vast majority are normal sized penises who see themselves as smaller.
SPH Degradation & Teasing
Well this sounds like a fun fetish to explore. How do I get started? You can start by telling him that he has a smaller penis or describing how much larger a previous boyfriend was. You can pull out a measuring tape, make eye contact, smile and laugh as you get your measurement. Perhaps you can ask him to take a picture as you hold the measuring tape. You can save that image to your phone and send it to him from time to time. Teasing by holding your forefinger and thumb an inch or two apart to indicate something small. A smile and wicked laugh will make it very clear exactly which small object you are talking about. You can wiggle your pinkie finger at him, of course representing his penis. You can compare his penis to a dildo or vibrator and show him exactly how he measures up. Here are some great SPH one liners that you can try:
- Is it in?
- Is that it?
- This isn’t working, why don’t you lock it back up and go down on me.
- My ex was twice as long as you are.
- Stand there with your hands by your sides. I want to take a picture… with zoom.
- If I want to get off, it looks like I’ll have to make a date with my vibrator.
- I wonder if they laughed when they were changing your diaper as a baby?
- I was drunk the other night and showed my sister your dick pic because she didn’t believe me when I told her how small it was.
- Where do you find condoms to fit that little guy? Do they sell them in normal stores?
- When I told you to get me something small for our anniversary, this isn’t what I had in mind.
- It is fascinating how quickly you cum when I tell you how pathetic your cock is.
- With a penis like this, I am going to have to get a boyfriend.
- Did it stop growing when you were 8?
- If size really didn’t matter, why aren’t any dildos that are your size?
- I think we are both setting ourselves up for disappointment if we have sex. Let’s just be friends.
- You warned me that you were slightly below average but this is tiny.
- I can cup your boner and balls in one hand.
- Aww. He is so cute.
- When I told you that I was looking for more in this relationship than you could give, I was talking about your cock.
- You’re on the smaller side so let’s skip sex, and you can just jerk off to me.
- Well I guarantee you’ve never had a woman deepthroat you.
- Every time I tell you that I can’t feel your tiny dick, you get harder.
- Apologize for having such a small penis. I want you to tell me you are sorry.
- If we are going to have sex again, you are going to need to search for positions that feel good with small dicks.
- I think the heel of my shoe is longer than your dicklet.
- …and this is why your cock is locked in a cage.
- They say its not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean but I think we are going to need a bigger boat.
- A sexy body like this deserves a bigger dick. Don’t you think?
- It’s just like a dick, only smaller.
- Aren’t penises supposed to be bigger than that?
- Yours isn’t big enough to call it a dick, we will call it a penis.
- It is impossible to respect you with a penis that small.
- I am with you for lots of reasons, but this penis isn’t one of them.
- Laugh when he ejaculates and tell him it was cute to see his dicklet cum like that.
- With a penis that small, I bet your cum couldn’t even fill up a thimble.
Sex Drive Disparity
As with male chastity, SPH can be a fun way to amp up a relationship where the man has a greater sex drive than the woman. When he attempts to initiate sex, this is a great opportunity to tease him about his size. Depending on the dynamic of your relationship, this is also a good opportunity to lock him up for even asking. Some fun things to say when he asks:
- You’re going to have to grow a little bit down there if you want me to want sex with you.
- Your mouth is telling me that you want sex but your penis is telling me that you want to give me oral sex. Now get down there and start licking.
- Remind him that he isn’t the biggest guy in town so he shouldn’t expect you to be aroused by that thing but you will let him know when you are horny.
- I don’t want to fuck you but I want to see you jack that little thing off (make SPH comments while he jerks off for you).
Another comment on sex drive disparity is that this is often related to newness in your relationship. As couples grow together, it is very common for the female to feel “in a rut” with her sexual attraction toward her partner. This isn’t your faults, this is something that our bodies do to prevent long term pair bonding with males that may be infertile or incapable of producing offspring and encourage us to hook up with more fertile males. There are lots of options that will allow you to further explore your sexuality together. If you are confident in your relationship, consider exploring some new avenues together. If you’ve made it to this site, you are clearly open minded enough to consider new things.
If you’ve incorporated pegging into your relationship, this offers a great opportunity to compare sizes. I like to wear my strap-on harness and remind him that he would be doing the fucking if he was hung like this. I proudly strut myself around the house comparing myself to him and making silly SPH jokes.
Boyfriends & Threesomes
When you are having a threesome with two guys and one guy is noticeably bigger than the other, it is like the elephant in the room (pun intended). You have to say something, or acknowledge it somehow, right? Kev and I were living with our friend Andrew for most of the Covid lockdown and we had a running joke/tease between us. Kev is slightly smaller than Andrew so I’d put them both in my hands, look both guys in the eye, smirk at Kev and give my attention to Andrew’s unit. Kev loved it and I could see his penis nearly burst at the seams from arousal. He definitely has a streak of SPH in his little black book of fetishes. Even if the two guys are both similarly sized, as was our case the guys often feel like there is a competition for the better manhood especially in sexual scenarios.
If you have a relationship that involves any sort of consensual non-monogamy (which I highly recommend), consider talking about the size difference between your boyfriend and your lover. You can also use compersion to help him feel like he is doing you a favor by allowing you to experience “a real man”. While size to me does feel different, I am certainly no size queen but I do like the feelings of being full and especially the larger girth. If you have a date with your boyfriend or are experiencing it together in a threesome, it can be fun to remind how “stretched out you are” from being with him.
Is SPH Healthy?
Is a SPH fetish healthy for my relationship? If you communicate with him and let him know that you are just teasing, it is as healthy as any other fetish. If it pushes his buttons, I say go for it. Lock his penis up in a cock cage and use it as fuel for your fantasies together. Whether it is perceived or not, men who have a smaller penis try harder in the bedroom. They focus more on your needs and ensuring that you are satisfied. Fetishes are exciting and really elevate our emotional response like nothing else can. Kev and I really enjoy playing with our emotions and exciting fetishes like SPH bring to our relationship.
One thing that I see frequently in SPH and Cuckold fantasies is the portrayal of the Asian and white men with the tiny penises and the black man with the huge penis. I feel like this treads on some racist ground so I try to stay away from racial generalizations. I know that the “black bull” is a very common sexual fantasy but I don’t like the blatant racism so we typically keep it out of our fantasies.
If your guy gets offended or deeply hurt, you should stop immediately. Some of us are built for teasing and self deprecating humor like this and others can find it deeply hurtful. Keep the lines of communication open and make sure that he is enjoying it as much as you inevitably will.