Is being dominant equal being bad?
This one is intended for the ladies (sorry guys).
As I stated in my introduction, I assumed the dominant role in our marriage over a year ago after couple of years my dear husband tried to convince me and it's working wonderfully for us.
Recently I shared our secret(so I thought) of dominance chastity and cock control, with my best friend, who told me she suspected that for quite some time.
We talked further and I realized she was approached by her husband with quite the same request.
Here I get to my point.... She told me that she felt reluctant to comply because her husband finds her, at times, to be somewhat aggressive and short tempered and she doesn't like to be considered as a bad person.
I must admit, it somewhat shook me.
As I said, on the one hand I feel it was a wonderful year for us but on the other hand, is being dominant and in control makes me bad? I know I can be blunt and at times shoot from the hip, do I really want to take it to our bedroom as well? I am afraid to find at some point that my darling considerat loving husband resents me.
I would very much want to have your opinion, I'm suddenly shaken and uncertain....
Marriage is like a play ground teeter totter with one partner taking more and one giving more from time to time. Dominance is ok but it cannot be full time dominance without creating resentment. You must be a loving and communicative even if you are particular and demanding. I don't purport to be any sort of expert but I think a dominant/submissive or D/s relationship can be very healthy with communication. If you think you may have crossed a line or hurt his feelings, ask questions and make him use his words to discuss his feelings. It will be tough at first but communication is absolutely key.
The fact that this concerns you means that you have a level of humility and compassion. You want what is best for your relationship and your partner. Remember also that a dominant woman in the bedroom often appears to be a submissive in day to day life. They need not be mutually exclusive.
The cruelest thing my wife ever did to me was to end our marriage of bless by determining that dominance must be bad. The love , extreme closeness and absolute love and lust for each other is gone , never to return! Stop overthinking what experience has proven to work for both of you. The need and desires men have for submission to the woman of their heart will never be understood ! Just be happy in your dominance and stop listening to your friends with dull and dead marriages!
Sorry to be so blunt but your post obviously hit a nerve!
Marriage is like a play ground teeter totter with one partner taking more and one giving more from time to time.
So true. I like to think about it this way: If I think I'm doing half of the "giving" and half of the "taking", I'm probably *actually* doing 30-40% of the giving and 60-70% of the taking.
So marriage works really well when the partners split the load 90/90, and pretty well when they split it 70/70.
Domination for a submissive man is opium. This is what his whole being wants consciously and unconsciously.