Let's hear from him
Let's hear from Kevin. I want to hear what works for him with this type of relationship.
That's not a bad idea. I will discuss it with him tonight.
We discussed and we both think it is a good idea. What questions do you have?
I hope it’s okay to jump in here. I think it would be great to hear some of Kevin’s side. Most of the male views you find on this topic are from guys who are very submissive and wanted the woman to take control in their relationship. While it’s helpful to hear these views, the problem is that both men and women reading it would have to wonder, “Would this work for my relationship, or does it only work here because of how naturally submissive he is?”
From what I understand, Kevin was on the submissive side of the scale, but not on the extreme end. I think hearing Kevin’s views could be really helpful both for men who are trying to figure out if this is for them, and for women who worry about making their man unhappy. From the perspective of helping those people find answers, here are some questions that I think would be good to ask him. Feel free to pick the ones you like. I don’t mean to overwhelm him or you.
- What effects have you seen in yourself and your relationship?
- What sacrifices have you had to make? Do any stand out as harder than the others? Do you still struggle with any of them?
- Has your relationship structure changed the way you think of yourself?
- Has it changed the way you think of Emma?
- Did you struggle with being yourself with Emma as she took charge in the relationship? Were you able to move past that? How?
- Do you ever have times when you get too upset or frustrated and want to say that you won’t do this anymore? How do you deal with those times?
- Knowing what you know today, would you choose this now, even if Emma didn’t require it? If yes, how long did it take you to switch from going along with it to buying into it?
- Are there any changes you would make to how the relationship is managed while keeping the same structure? Would you be okay with it if Emma told you she didn’t think she would be open to those changes in the future?
- If things ever looked like they were starting to cross a line for you, do you feel that you would be able to stop that from happening without harming the relationship?
- Do you think you were somehow predisposed to accepting the changes Emma wanted to make, or do you think the way she went about it would work on most guys?
- What do you think is the most important thing for Emma to keep in mind if she wants to make sure you stay willing to stick with this style of relationship?
- Assuming that you also want to stick with it, what do you think is the most important thing for you to keep in mind?
- Is there anything else you think couples should know or think about before trying this?
I'd be interested to hear if Kevin thinks it's easier to maintain the lifestyle using a cage or the honor system.
Thanks! He has already started to respond to these.
I did some light editing but the blog is posted. Thank you guys for the idea and questions. We can do a follow-up if more questions come in. I got some interesting insight from the conversation that the questions spurred.
Oh wow thankyou.
First batch of questions:
1) What are the three most important lessons you have learned about proper behavior, i.e. towards women/your wife?
2) What the did the paddlings teach you, i.e what behaviors did they stop or instill in you?
Please pass along my thanks to Kevin for his willingness to share his feelings and experiences around a sensitive and very personal part of his life, and for the time he spent doing it. While it’s clear that he is right on board with this lifestyle, I doubt he really wanted to sign up as an evangelist for it, and I suspect it may have been one of those sacrifices he was happy to make for you. Either way, I really appreciate it. His answers helped me quite a lot with my reservations about committing to these lifestyle changes. They also helped me with accepting my submissive feelings in my relationship (still a challenge, but it definitely helped). He also made some comments in his introduction that struck a chord with me and were very helpful.
Thank you, as well, Emma, both for asking Kevin to share his views and for all of your work on this site. I know that you created this site to help women, and I know that most of your active members are men. Some comments left on the site clearly come from men looking for something quite different than what you advocate, but I think most of them come from men who who actually want to bring your ideas into their relationships (or already have). Honestly, part of the reason I immediately spent time coming up with so many questions was to preempt you receiving a bunch of highly invasive questions that could have ruined the opportunity being offered. It’s nice to see that didn’t happen. I hope you actually have lots of female readers who simply don’t comment, but even if you don’t, you should know that your site does empower women to lead their men. My partner may never see your site, but it has convinced me that what you propose can lead to a better, stronger, and happier relationship for both men and women, and it has helped me to be able to propose relationship changes to her that most definitely empower her.
It's funny actually. I get private messages from quite a few women but the forums and comments on the public site tend to be more men. While I don't mind the private messages, I much prefer the forum posts and comments as they reach more people. I reply to each and every private message but sometimes they get quite long and time-consuming. With summer, I do have the time to reply to most of them however I can see it being a challenge as time goes on. Either way, I am happy to it even if I am able to impact just one relationship. I've made a whole sixty-six cents off the site (referral credit for one bottle of lube on the recommendation page) so I am clearly not doing it for the money. 🙂
It seems that the "recommend this site" on the sidebar of the site has been effective. For the ladies I've talked to, most of them found the site by either anonymous or not-so-anonymous emails from there.
Thanks for reading and I look forward to asking Kevin to do another round of questions soon.
- Your doing one week at a time with the honor system how long can you go before you betray emma trust and take matters into your own hands?
- What would be your punishment if you released on your own?
- Would you admit it to her? honestly? If you didn't admit, would she know?
- How often SHOULD you be allowed orgasm?
- How do you feel after 1 day, 3 days, 5 days, 7 days, longer?
- How many days locked up do you feel resentful to emma?
- Do you like teasing even though you are not to be released? Is it easier if she locks and leaves for a week?
- When you do pegging do you have prostate orgasm ever?
- For pegging how large do you use? Does your feelings change with large or small? Does she like large or small?
- Do you miss your cage?
- Would you admit this to male friends if they were having marriage problem?
- Did you know of this blog the whole time or only recently? Your last blog said that you were embarrassed, how does it feel now are you still embarrased? Why are you ashamed?
- Would you register and comment using your name so we can talk directly with you?
- Do you feel like you satisfy her sexually or do you think that she felt sexually unsatisfied so went to kinky to try and compensate?
- It sounds like you aren't a very big penis, would you allow her to be with another man who is larger? With the blog compersion is that something you would want to feel while she enjoyed a different man?
I really like this blog and thank you for answering my questions, lots of great and honest information here. You dont need to answer all the questions just pick ones you like but i do want to hear all and like your honestly. sorry if my english isnt clear
Posted another batch of Kevin's question and answers today!
1) How many days did it take you the first time to feel like the cage was beginning to drive you mad (bother you BADLY)?
2)How long did it take you before you finally accepted and started enjoying being under her control, i mean how long did it take you to accept that the power is in her hands and stop getting bothered by it and by the fact that its out of your control?
3) Were there times you lashed out on her and just went angry on her and looking back you regret doing that?
4)From a perspective of a man do you believe that a punishment system should be for such angry outbursts at her?
5)I am a guy that can be very sensitive about hurting other peoples emotions, any suggestions of what kind of punishments I should receive from my gf if i got angry at her? cause today tbh is my first day in a cage?
6)Now we both know that being pegged leaves us with a storm of emotions whether its while being pegged or after it, but have you ever felt the emotion of being PROUD of emma while she takes rough? or is that only me with my gf?
i want to thank you so so so much before hand for taking the time to read our questions and answering them. thank you so much.
I actually have this one request for emma. lady you clearly are a strong dominant woman who can clearly describe how you ladies feel and the ladies perspective on things. I am a guy who pegging plays a great role in his life , so can you plz make another additional post including in this post even in more details the following:
1) how you ladies feeling while pegging a man, in more details i mean, i mean you would really help me and my gf get even closer together in more understanding of her perspective.
2) my gf hasnt read any of your posts so far and i want her to read this post first, and clearly you have been banging your man way longer than she has been wrecking me, so can you suggest some methods, or positions, or scenarios that would make you ladies feel even more about this than usual.
3)and this one isnt included in the post at all thats why the line up there, this one you DONT have to answer AT ALL if you dont wanna answer it, i would never ever mean to make you anyone uncomfortable with what they dont feel like doing. and this one is for me out of pure curiosity and i already apologize if this offended you or him in any way. my question is, if you had a son would you want his gf/wife, the beautiful lady in his life, to have power over him? you know chain him, bend him over and bang him up the ass (so sorry if that was too graphic). i am gonna speak for myself first, if i had a son , i would WANT her to do that to him, i know its my son and its strange for me to say that as a man but thats some power a man needs to know a woman has and tbh i dont see how a man can learn it unless it was with a dildo up his ass and a woman bending him over and showing him that you ladies can do what we can easily and its us that have to learn to do what you can do as efficiently. i repeat you dont have to share your thoughts on this matter and i would really love if you make that post with the first 2 points plz. and thank you so so so much emma and kev for everything.