Trust. Or what are ...
 
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Trust. Or what are you trying to achieve with chastity?

Patches
(@patches)
Eminent Member

This is a big one for me. It started as responses to a review of a chastity device I use. There are several elements involved. What turns me/you on? Why are you participating in "chastity?" Would you "escape" and do naughty things if you could? Does it require someone keeping a close eye on you the entire time?

It's obviously different for each and every one of us. Everyone has different upbringings. Different genetics. Different life experiences. Different partners. Different opportunities. Different financial means. People have different beliefs as to what makes them "happy." Sometimes we do things we think make us happy but in reality only perpetuate something we think of as happiness.

All I can say for myself and this particular tract in my life is it's exciting. It's a mind game that I get to play with someone I love. Could I escape out of anything locked around my cock? Of course. But is it only two scenarios - one easily escaped from or one impossible to remove? Or are there various degrees that allow you to achieve a balance between the impossible and the free?

For me, there's a balance between my girlfriend, work, kids, sex, life, home, chores, traffic, nutrition, entertainment, breathing, creativity and all of those kinky thoughts I allow myself. Which is a long way of saying every couple and individual has a set of things that allows an activity like chastity to work for them.

I won't pretend to speak for my lovely girlfriend but my trust in her is what allows me to share this fun experience. I don't need her to control my every waking moment. I'm a fully functioning adult. But I do enjoy those times she wants me to do something that will please her. And vice versa. We love each other and enjoy making each other happy. This chastity thing just happens to be part of it.

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Topic starter Posted : 03/03/2019 9:20 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

I really like your perspective. I wonder though, about your comment regarding escaping. My fear is that the guy would put on an act, complain about being locked for a week despite continuing his daily jerking habits the moment that I turn my back. Topping from the bottom if you will or really just being generally disingenuous. 

That said, it is important to me that I trust the man (obviously) but it is also important that I trust the device because I know that the man is weak by his very nature. You all are (no offense intended), we have our weaknesses too but yours comes from your body's urgent and frequent sexual requirements.

We are currently using a device like the one attached to this post on top of his holy trainer v2. I am just worried by your statement about slipping out. I feel like the setup we've got allows us a certain sense of security but wonder if others are being misled. Someone mentioned a prince albert piercing, I hope that isn't the only option for long term lifestyle change like this. Body modification requirements would certainly make it much tougher for effective orgasm control to ever go more mainstream.

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Posted : 04/03/2019 6:50 am
Patches
(@patches)
Eminent Member

Well...I have a PA to help reduce the likelihood of escape.  Those little German locks are fun. But we’re doing this together. If there’s true coercion required then I’d think there are other issues that have to be worked on. 

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Topic starter Posted : 04/03/2019 7:01 am
bill
 bill
(@bill)
Active Member
Posted by: Patches

Well...I have a PA to help reduce the likelihood of escape.  Those little German locks are fun. But we’re doing this together. If there’s true coercion required then I’d think there are other issues that have to be worked on. 

Great point, while a PA would eliminate the chance of pulling out.    It doesn't address the insecurity of these small locks whether that be a padlock or magic lock.    They can all be picked pretty easily.   I am a huge fan of the A272 for comfort and hygiene, and laughed a little when I saw this  -->

     

Your man doesn't even need to take it off to get off, if he has access to your Hitachi wand.   I wouldn't get too caught up in finding the most secure chastity device, because that is just an illusion.    If you can help your man comfortably stifle his erection to retain, he will find just as much pleasure in channeling that energy into your relationship and your pleasure.     

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Posted : 04/03/2019 10:00 am
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

The irony of that video was great, it would have been funny if they used "snugger fit" or small size condom. 😉

Well I don't like the fact that these devices aren't as secure as I once thought. You guys are really bursting my bubble here. I still want to find the most secure of the insecure devices. 

It is very clear when he is retaining or not retaining because of his attitude and his eagerness to please me. When he is retaining, he is constantly wanting to touch me, to massage me and is generally eager to please me in any way. When he is not retaining, the cocky, teasing attitude and personality traits come out. 

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Posted : 04/03/2019 4:24 pm
Patches
(@patches)
Eminent Member

Awwww...don't mean to be a bubble burster. Besides a PA or other genital piercing with some sort of lock, a belt is likely to be the only "inescapable" form of chastity. But again, and the point of the post, without the trust there in the first place, what do you think you have?

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Topic starter Posted : 04/03/2019 7:56 pm
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