I'm happily surprised how much has happened since I did an introduction post yesterday.
Husband came home from a work trip, thankfully teens where asleep with afterchool snooze, and I was waiting in the bedroom with my new cock on.
wow!!! I never knew watching him suck it would be so exhilarating. Never knew I could cum from pounding him. He says he could feel it hitting his thighs.
By the time bedtime arrived I was just going to touch and tease him but wanted my fingers in him and he exploded. I asked him as we laid there after to not touch himswkd for the next four days. He leaves again tonight, comes home Saturday mid-day. He agreed but hesitant. I told him he jerks off too much and takes orgasms for granted. He agreed. He said he even sometimes doesn't even know why gevis doing it, or not in the mood but habit.
This morning. Kids gone. He has a later job to go to but ran out to the store. He got back and my cock was on. Told him I wanted to make sure he missed me and my cock.
He said in just a night I have a new vibe about me. I lead him to the bedroom. Him questioning me the whole time. Told him to stop and to trust me.
End up with him begging to be allowed to make me cum with his mouth. He went back and forth to where his mouth was and what was in it. Made him tell me how much he likes my cock. Can't explain what that did to me.
He was so loving, needy, pleasing and so much more. He asked to fuck me a few times. No. He easily agreed to no touching himself and not cumming till I make him.
He says please a lot. He got on his knees in from of me kissing me all over thanking me for letting him make me cum.
He asked why I don't want him jerking off or even cumming today. Told him again that he takes it for granted, it's too much if his focus and he truly will thank me. He had said last night the position he liked best was when he was on his stomach and I was behind him but didn't like that he couldn't touch himself. I told him that is the problem, he is too focused on himself being touched.
I've read that I should be able to tell if he has been cumming buy the amount and thickness so I will be paying attention this weekend. I do think he would be honest with me, we have amazing communication.
Trying to think over the next few days. I will be teasing him with pictures and videos. I will be letting him know each time I cum.
I want him needy and desperate.
Before he just left I was doing stuff around the house. He commented how he was already following me around like a puppy dog.
I've had to reassure him a bit that no, I don't find him less manly and in fact I'm pretty sure I love him even more now.
He has agreed (and last night he wouldn't) that when it comes to sexual things, I'm now in control. He came up behind me and grabbed hold of my hair hard, which I love(I'm a masochist) and said if he does this, it's not out of dominance but be side he knows the things that make me feel good.
I quickly learned between yesterday and today that I can now have that pain I want in demand. Before if I asked , he typically wouldn't as he would then loose the control. He quickly fell inline with me telling him how to touch, pinch, suck and whatever.
As he left I got the longest most loving hug we have definitely found something that works for us both and now I need to find the balance (for now) of dominating him sexually but not scaring him off it completely by having that flow into non-sexual things
I need to figure out even things like what I call him I've called him Daddy for a very long time. That will not work when he is on his knees infront of me showing me how much he worships me.
I know this is long and rambly, so many thoughts, emotions and it's been a whirlwind of new things in 24 hours.
I would love advice, suggestions on keeping his orgasms in my control. He is use to cumming just about daily. He is use to me pleasing him and it being very focused on him. He was begging for me to suck him earlier. Stood my ground with a firm no. It felt so empowering to say that, espically when I told him instead he could suck my cock and then pushed his head down till he gagged.
Anyways, just over sharing and just trying to figure out next move to make him putty in my hand lol
It sounds you’re on the right track. You had a lot of activity in a 24-48 hours. You didn’t want him to think every weekend or home time is going to be this wild. Again you might have the sexual energy to do this every time he comes home. You might want to throw in some ruined orgasm. Keep him on the edge with no orgasm. You should have a plan for punishment if he does have an accidentally orgasm release. There are so many ways to show him who the boss is now. You are doing great. Take it at your own pace.
Thankfully these work trips are about done. It's not normal so glad when over but thankfully through it neither of us have expectations for what will happen when he is home. Sometimes we are so crazy busy with the kids activities I feel we hardly get sit besides in the car lol.
I honestly do not understand what is meant by ruined orgasm.
I was thinking about punishment last night as I plan on keeping him worked up as much as I can.
He is being very open about things he liked, didn't, or that felt awkward and we are talking through them. He is trying , and doing great, at adjusting what his mind is telling him a man should be doing. I can see from my own experience he needs lots of praise and I'm going to think of some rewards so he sees how much he is pleasing me.
"He is being very open about things he liked, didn't, or that felt awkward and we are talking through them. He is trying , and doing great, at adjusting what his mind is telling him a man should be doing."
Don't ever forget that it is ALL about, and NOT AT ALL ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS. In the end, his source of pleasure MUST by from giving you pleasure, obedience and service. Anything else is topping from the bottom, and that will end in disaster.
Yes topping from the bottom doesn't work, it is what I always tried.
Be careful not allow subtle topping from the bottom. Talk about each other's limits, establish a safe word, and anything that doesn't go outside those limits is within your control. Don't worry about what he wants, or is happy with. Trust me.
Yes I need to mentally make the full switch from worrying so much about his pleasure. That's what I use to.
We just had a very long phone conversation while he had coffee before work and he was incredibly open, honest and vulnerable and it was amazing. He is not struggling I guess, but it's new, and I explained to him how sexy he is saying please and thank you to me, how sexy he is asking to make me feel good and so on. I could feel and hear a shift in his tone by the time the phone call was done, more accepting (not the right word). We talked about how his biggest issues is his needy cock and its pleasure and that I was reigning that in. I heard excitement that I don't think he realized he let out.
"We talked about how his biggest issues is his needy cock and its pleasure and that I was reigning that in."
It takes a little time for him to come around to truly exclusively getting his pleasure from providing you pleasure. Trust me, it will happen. It takes patience from you as he progresses, along with discipline and punishment from when he falls off the wagon. The key is consistency. Sometimes, a Mistress Wife can mistakenly think that 'ignore and deny' is the same thing as 'tease and deny'. Stay consistent.
Yes these are great points. I'm using these days with him gone to plan out/think of some punishment and reward ideas. It will be interesting to see what he responds best to. I'm working on a few day to day rules to implement to having him even when at work not forget. Like this morning, easy simple, always acknowledge my texts as soon as he reads them. Sometimes he will respond later when we are talking either on the phone or in person and that's not acceptable. I know he cam be very busy providing for us and I truly appreciate that, but he can heart or like a text and then tote a reply later. Little things to help his mindset I think are very key right. He makes a lot of decisions every day running his own business, I'm going to help him be able to not have to make decisions about us. I think the more he can experience the mental break the more he will enjoy reversal of his role. I just know I need to not go too hard, too fast, too strict, too soon. A beautiful side is coming out of him and I don't want him pulling back. Taking away his orgasms for a few days is hard on him but I'll reward him. Use the prostate massager as intended 🙂
Sounds like you are definitely on the right track. You and your husband sound a lot like my Wife and I when we first ventured into our WLM. I also own my own business, am alpha, and in charge everywhere except my marriage. My orgasm control started much like you describe. At first, a few days. Then a few weeks, then months at a time. Also, at first, my Wife put me on an orgasm schedule, which she later abandoned because she began to understand that when I knew my scheduled orgasm was coming, it affected my behavior. Now ... I get 2-3 full orgasms per year and 3-5 ruined orgasms per year. It may sound awful, but I assure you, our marriage and sex life has never been better. Also now, my orgasms are almost exclusively through anal penetration/prostate massage, and always only while caged.
Maybe you can help me. Can you please explain what a ruined orgasm is? Like if I see something on Reddit, the cum is cumming but its ruined. How? He is cumming.
I want to get him to where he is only getting orgasms from anal activity. I've already decided that. He just doesn't know it yet. I think I need to implement some light bondsge of his hands as he gets so dang grabby with himself. And possibly till he can learn, he has to be on his stomach. His biggest complaint the other day was he couldn't get to himself. Very needy.
What you are seeing is not cumming, it is ejaculating. A ruined orgasm is when all stimulation to the cock is removed seconds before the orgasm hits. At this point, the full orgasm felt by the body is denied, but the ejaculation process has already begun. Hence the reason cum dribbles or even shoots from the cock, depending on the age of the man.
The main benefit of a ruined orgasm is that there is no refractory period, and that's because there was no orgasm to release the hormones in a man that makes him want to fall asleep after orgasm. Since the man is still aroused after a RO, he remains attentive and dutiful in his submissive role, unlike after a full orgasm, where he is likely to underperform his duties and your submissive husband.
Ruined orgasms take practice and require accurate communication from him. My Wife was smart by making a rule that I am never allowed to ejaculate or orgasm without her permission and under her direct supervision, and I must ALWAYS ask for, and receive permission to orgasm or ejaculate. This way, when she was learning to recognize the signs of a pending orgasm on her own, she made it my responsibility for whatever the outcome was. If I was edged/teased, and her intention was to only, maybe, allow a ruined orgasm, and I just couldn't hold back and ended up cumming, I would immediately receive an awful spanking. Like to near tears. She enjoys giving me spankings, and sometimes she will purposely deny permission to orgasm or ejaculate, while continuing the stimulation of my penis, knowing I couldn't hold back, but allowing her the opportunity to punish me for ejaculating without permission. She's fun like that.
"His biggest complaint the other day was he couldn't get to himself. Very needy."
Yep, and he's going to be that (complainy) until and unless you forbid him from complaining and reminding him that it is NOT at all about what he wants, and that it is up to you to decide if, or when he is allowed to "get to himself".
I have some blog posts on my site that are all about ruined orgasms.
That makes so much sense! No one ever really explains so I didn't get what was happening. Time to start researching. The thought of doing that to him just really excited me.
And yes we have been talking a lot how how this neediness needs to end. I agree, the complaining can't be accepted. Need to think right now how to handle that so later when we speak, and he whines, I can handle it straight away.
"Need to think right now how to handle that so later when we speak, and he whines, I can handle it straight away."
You'll come up with something, I'm sure. Whatever it is, it needs to be impactful and not pleasant. For us, that means a very stingy and ouchy red bottom