Notifications
Clear all

Keyholder : A role that is not innate

Ruined-Julie
(@ruined-julie)
Trusted Member

I want to react by this topic to an old post found on the forum where a newly caged man was complaining about his wife's lack of consideration.

I would like to clarify first of all that male chastity was introduced at the initiative of my husband in our couple and maybe the message I am going to transmit does not apply integrally to women being at the initiative of chastity in theirs.

Although I have always been a woman with dominant tendencies, the role of keyholder did not come to me innately. By this I mean, gentlemen, that the simple fact of holding the key to your liberation will not instantly transform us into a bomb of desire, ready to tease you all day long.
Like any new thing, keyholding requires time to adapt. Understanding the ins and outs of holding power is not easy, I made a lot of "mistakes" at the beginning and I still make mistakes today (sorry honey).

All of this is to say to women who have recently been empowered with the fabulous power to control the orgasms of their partners, don't be discouraged if things don't seem natural to you at first glance. It is completely normal that it takes a little time for everyone to get used to their new role and for your couple to find a new cruising rhythm.

And for you gentlemen, the transition from fantasy to reality may not seem so great at first. But give to your half time to build up and accept herself as a keyholder. Believe me, you won't regret it.

In any case and as Emma would say, communicate ! Don't hesitate to exchange on your expectations, on what works and what doesn't work for you. This is the only way you will be able to create a positive dynamic where everyone will enjoy their new role.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 31/08/2020 5:32 am
gallifreystyle, subhubphx, Vikter and 1 people liked
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member
Posted by: @ruined-julie

In any case and as Emma would say, communicate ! Don't hesitate to exchange on your expectations, on what works and what doesn't work for you. This is the only way you will be able to create a positive dynamic where everyone will enjoy their new role.

Bravo!  Wish there was a "love" button alongside the like button.  Real, effective, genuine communication is essential to venture between two, and especially so in this dynamic.  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 31/08/2020 9:20 am
khorina5
(@khorina5)
Eminent Member

Thank you @ruined-julie . There's a lot of pressure for Queens to play something that is not innate and also it's not clear in some ways for both Wife and husband. 

One of the ideas that has helped both my Queen and myself is: i belong to Her. In action, that translated to 'we are in this together' so there's not right or wrong, there is US. We are pretty vanilla so our exchanges are pretty 'normal', some days it meant me blushing saying "i am sorry i think my hormones are super high, may we hug?". Maybe the fact that things are vanilla lower pressured; my Queen doesn't hold a physical key but we both know She holds 'our' key. 

i later saw a whole theory of submission and how important it was to develop this 'sense of belonging'. Through time, we've developed it and it's a great feeling of two becoming one. 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 01/09/2020 1:13 pm
Share: