Discovering how empowering managing his orgasms could be

Hello everyone!

My name is Emily and the name of the owner of the penis I have locked up is Mike. Or I should say former owner, hehe. For all extents and purposes his penis is under my control and has been for about a year and half. Mike's is actually the 3rd penis I've caged as I came to realize the incredible benefits of intimacy, attention, and joy we experienced when I controlled my guy's little guy.  I'm currently 29, but was 23 when my boyfriend at the time approached me about locking his penis in a chastity cage. I've always had a bit of a domineering/controlling streak and so decided to take him up on it. We quickly discovered that while locking his cock was a kink for him it was more of a lifestyle for me which I loved.  I noticed the change in his attention and demeanor when I kept him locked for a week or more and loved how much more sexual attention and orgasms I received. That relationship didn't pan out as our expectations around chastity and intimacy differed significantly and he did not truly want to give up control of his orgasms while I had come to the conclusion, similar to Emma, that managing his release was a non-negotiable part of our sexual relationship. 

Fortunately, after a brief stint with another guy, Mike came into my life about 2 years ago. After 4 dates of instant chemistry and intrigue with one another Mike asked if we could start going steady.  It was at this point that I broached the subject of caging his cock and explained this was a deal breaker if he refused. Mike was a little hesitant at first, but was intrigued with what I had come to experience and why I thought managing his orgasms would be so beneficial for us both. He was willing to trust me and acknowledged it kind of turned him on. It was actually the first time I had ever seen his penis when he went back to his place and clicked the lock into place for the cage I owned. It actually wasn't a great fit and we went through a little trial and error until we found a cage that suited him well. Mike agreed to wear it 24/7 and I promised to allow him a release at least a couple times a month.  The excitement and anticipation grew in our relationship through sexy texts, flirtatious behavior, and lots of physical affection which rarely led to him being uncaged. Mike grew to love my control and the constant partial arousal and anticipation he held of getting a release.  He has been thoughtful and sweet whether through cuddling, offering words of affection, or flowers or surprise gifts to let me know his appreciation.  Meanwhile he voiced how much he enjoyed my teasing, sending partial nudes etc when I knew he would be straining against the cage. I would offer to uncage him typically once a week, but we started to play a game of training and trust where we would negotiate whether or not he was allowed an orgasm this time.  We tried things like spinning a wheel, or drawing cards to determine if he got a release, or negotiating a challenge such as if you get me to cum 5 time orally first I'll allow an orgasm, or if you can handle 10 kicks to the balls, or me flicking the head of your penis 25 times first.  I mentioned earlier that I tend to be dominant and we've both enjoyed experimenting a bit with some light bdsm or cbt. 

I found this blog last night and fell in love with the content on it! It is one of the first places I've found where I can really resonate as a female to the strengths and appreciation I've found in controlling a man's penis and orgasms. Emma, I love all the thought and intention you've put into sharing your experience with Kevin and for your educated insight into the biology, and physiology of what is happening within a man and differs them from a woman which makes orgasm control so beneficial.  I love reading about the actual science behind why semen retention is so helpful in keeping a man aroused and attentive and can I just say in my mind you are an expert in all things related to the penis! I showed Mike a few of your posts earlier today and even he said he learned things about his own processes and genitals from your writing. I'm eager to learn more from you and others' experiences. Like many others have voiced it is frustrating how the vast majority of sources on male chastity on the internet are simply fantasy and begin and end with kink. It does often feel like anything on chastity is simply written by and for men. It is so refreshing and empowering to find the grounded writings and experience from this site as a beneficial lifestyle and not just a fantasy. I'm encouraged to see others' broaching this topic and I do hope that it grows more mainstream as other woman discover the unique intimacies and benefits provided in locking up more penises! Thanks for reading my long intro post. 🙂