My bf and I are discussing a journey into FLR at his request. While not opposed to the idea, I am intimidated and anxious about the trek. He suggests this site as a great resource to explore, so here I am (we are). Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Welcome! Congratulations on your first step toward a female led relationship. I personally love what this type of relationship dynamic has brought to our lives. A couple of things to consider, go at YOUR PACE, not his. Take breaks from the relationship dynamic as needed, if he pushes, force a break so you can get things back on your own timeline. It's not a female led relationship unless he sets his expectations down and actually lets you lead.
He has probably been reading about female led relationships for years and has some idea of what a female led relationship is supposed to look like. It is different for everyone, you might find a very vanilla female led relationship fits you best, or perhaps you will want a more extreme version but take your time, baby steps and enjoy every bit of newness you experience together. You can only experience something once for the first time.
We are here if you have any questions!
A couple of things to consider, go at YOUR PACE, not his. Take breaks from the relationship dynamic as needed, if he pushes, force a break so you can get things back on your own timeline. It's not a female led relationship unless he sets his expectations down and actually lets you lead.
Quoted for truth.
Welcome!
Welcome! Congratulations on your first step toward a female led relationship. I personally love what this type of relationship dynamic has brought to our lives. A couple of things to consider, go at YOUR PACE, not his. Take breaks from the relationship dynamic as needed, if he pushes, force a break so you can get things back on your own timeline. It's not a female led relationship unless he sets his expectations down and actually lets you lead.
He has probably been reading about female led relationships for years and has some idea of what a female led relationship is supposed to look like. It is different for everyone, you might find a very vanilla female led relationship fits you best, or perhaps you will want a more extreme version but take your time, baby steps and enjoy every bit of newness you experience together. You can only experience something once for the first time.
We are here if you have any questions!
As always, very well said Emma. And yes, we're here if you have questions.
Adding to Emma's wisdom, try to determine if his desire is absolutely and genuinely based on an actual desire for your joy and happiness in your life, on your terms, exactly how and when you want it. If it is, his primary source of pleasure will be seeing to it that you have pleasure in your life. Every aspect of your life, not just sexually. The answer to this fundamentally critical component will result in you being merely a fetish peddler for him. Â
I suspect that your biggest hurdles will be early on. You'll be hesitant to be 'selfish', which can cause inconsistencies in your control of the relationship, which can result in him topping from the bottom. Neither of you ever want topping from the bottom. Don't be afraid to be selfish in what you desire I this relationship. This was something my Mistress Wife struggled with for years. Once she finally knew that my primary source of pleasure was seeing to it that she had pleasure in life, her life changed instantly for the better, and as a result, our love and marriage deepened. Remember, It's ALL ABOUT YOU. Aspects of the relationship (kinks, daily life, desires, etc.) that are presented to you are your option and yours alone. If something appeals to you, do it. If it doesn't, don't, even if he wants to. He'll come around ... because remember, his primary source of pleasure is your pleasure.
Lastly, be wary of so-called experts who will tell you what to do or not to do, or what this means, or that means, or because you are in an FLR, you must do this or that, or mustn't do this or that ... as if there are rules. They're all over the place, including some here. Stick with the foundational basics of understanding and grow from there. Be in charge and keep it contained within your relationship, and you'll have the blissful life you are hoping for. It can happen. My Wife and I are living proof of that. Married 27 years, and in a committed WLM (17 years), and we have never been happier.
Good luck to both of you on your journey.
Awesome words of wisdom and definitely something to keep in mind as one explores this new relationship dynamic. Â We are new to this too and keeping her pleasure as the guidepost for this journey will be paramount to our success. Â As fast or as slow as she wants it to progress even if my desires want to move more quickly. Â
We are all on our own paths and welcome to the new beginning of yours. I study ancient texts and many of them write about the genetics behind our function here in human form. In this, it is my understanding and experience that we are engineered ti function in this dynamic. When discussing it with my friends, and yes I am very public about my "Wife Led Marriage", I often reference the feminine and masculine in youth. What do little girls play? House, they organize and structure their "homes" in the fashion they desire. What do little boys play? Chase, cops and robbers, cowboys and indians. Lots of ego... The masculine is the provider and protector. The feminine is the nurturer, creator, and guide.Â
I will leave you with a link to a site that has been our "bible". Some of the material is not for you and not for me either. But I think if you read the whole thing you will find that we are all built the same with the same desires, needs, and connections. Remember each of you is only half of the whole and when you reach true unity there is no going back. Good luck! Here is the link. Dave Links not allowed apparently. The site is called. "A Married Women's Guide" from Word Press. removed link