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Hello Everyone

Active Member

I am a married man in my 50's.  I have been married 11 years.  My wife is the boss in our marriage.  We have fun with that.  My wife controls the finances and gets the last word if we have an argument.   I made the choice to give her control a year ago and our marriage has improved substantially.  There are no more heated arguments or fights over finances. 

Topic starter Posted : 06/08/2020 8:27 am
Member Admin

Hi Mark! I am curious about the sexual dynamic of your relationship with her being the boss of your marriage. I imagine that she also is in charge of sex in your relationship. How do you feel that her sexual control plays into the dynamic that you've created over the last year?

Welcome to the site! 

Posted : 11/08/2020 1:47 pm
Active Member

Hi Emma, 

Our sexual dynamic put's me in the submissive role and that's what I am comfortable with so I like it.  let me explain more ...

My wife has never had a high sex drive. It's been more than a year since we had intercourse. The last time we had intercourse was right before she found out I had been taking Viagra. I always hid that from her. When she found out she was not happy and flushed the Viagra down the toilet. I think that event took pressure off both of us. It turns out she didn't really care to have intercourse and was just doing it to please me. I didn't really care for intercourse either (that's why I needed the Viagra - it didn't turn me on and I worried about losing my erection).  Sex since then consist only of me going down on her (cunnilingus and anilingus).  I need to ask her to let me go down on her.  She doesn't tell me to do it.  She does not suck cock. It was shortly after the Viagra incident that I brought up a wife led marriage.

When I asked for the wife led marriage I brought up the idea of orgasm control.  That was all my idea and she participates in that (gift to me).  She only wants me to orgasm when she is present.  Sometimes she denies me but most of the time she let's me orgasm (by my hand or a vibrator). She enjoys seeing me cum after being chaste for a week or two.  Having to masturbate in front of her and cum all over myself is a big turn on for me. 

My wife is not into pegging. I wish she was. Using a strap-on on my ass is a step too far for her.  I did confess to her that I liked using butt plugs. She was Ok with that which really surprised me although she doesn't participate in it.  She has never instructed me to insert the butt plug.  It's hard to figure out what she may or may not like.  For example she was supportive of me getting laser hair removal including Brazilian - I don't have any hair below my eyes.  But she thinks it's really strange that I like to cross dress because she thinks it's gay so I don't do it in front of her.

Thanks for asking Emma.  Thanks for welcoming me to the site 

Topic starter Posted : 13/08/2020 7:49 am
Trusted Member


Hey! Thanks the introduction, and for sharing. With respect to you wife's opinion, the type of clothing you want to wear is not relevant to orientation. I more or less exclusively wear panties because they feel more comfortable to me, occasionally we will go farther than that but not often. It took going slowly and a few separate talks before she was understood that. If it is important to you personally I feel it should be okay to bring it up respectfully. 

My wife is the head of our household, but we feel that does not need to be balance and discussion as long as I can remain respectful in the conversation. 

I hope things go well for you and your wife. 

Posted : 13/08/2020 8:14 am