My wife and I are high school sweethearts married very young, now almost 32 years of marriage. We are finally empty nesters - boo ya! My wife is very intelligent strong willed women in all areas of life including our marriage, with the exception of our sexual relationship, where she had been more traditional. That was until Covid when she caught me masturbating and flipped the script on me. She didn't know about the chastity device yet, but she put me through orgasm denial hell for a few weeks. During this time she did not let me have an orgasm, she required me to continue to perform and satisfy her. Our connection and intimacy went through the roof, and one night she had four orgasms, but instead of being happy she was very mad and disappointed. She said I had robbed her of this type of sexual relationship for years, providing one lack luster orgasm at a time, while I was pleasuring myself regularly. She was serious, and I felt really bad about being selfish and letting my favorite person in the world, best friend, and lover down.
Next thing I know she was doing research and found out about male chastity devices and orgasm denial. She sat me down and explained how we were going to move forward, and that I could find the one I liked, test a few, make sure it was comfortable, but from now on she owned me sexually otherwise I had other choices I could make. She went on to say you owe me hundreds of orgasms that I had robbed her of over the last couple of decades and it was time to pay up (I think she actually said the first 30 were about mine, the last 30 years would be about hers). Meanwhile I would be experiencing less and less of them, until she found the perfect amount that corrected my focus from me to her sexually. I was shocked, she never took control like this over this part of our marriage.
Fast forward over a year, other than my exercise workouts, intercourse, and the occasional locked pass I am continuously locked. She's trained me go from just a few days, past a week, and month, and we are now in the 6 - 8 weeks of denial. She has trained me to control my orgasms during intercourse, and its the greatest gift she has ever given me - its a shame people think it is emasculating, because when I see how satisfied she is I never felt better, as a man that I could do that for her. In 2022 her goal is to see how I do at 4 - 8 orgasms for the year.
This has been our little secret until now, but we are both starting to feel more comfortable AND proud of this lifestyle so we are engaging with others in the lifestyle and reparable forums like this one. We figure we are still rookies, so it would be helpful to continue to learn from others on how to develop this lifestyle, though we both feel very good about our current routine. Male chastity and orgasm denial is one of the best things we have ever done for each other.
I look forward to learning from you all, and have already gained great insight from Emma's articles.
Enjoy the Journey!
Wow. That is pretty intense!
She has trained me to control my orgasms during intercourse, and its the greatest gift she has ever given me - its a shame people think it is emasculating, because when I see how satisfied she is I never felt better, as a man that I could do that for her.
Welcome to the site. I love this part!
Amazing story. Welcome.
Good luck. Remember that relationships/sex are not a math equation though. Getting her to have orgasms may be a positive aspect but not necessarily the goal.
So glad to have you hear and to have you share your story! Congratulations on the empty nest as well - what a fun time for you guys to grow and explore.
One personal question, and feel free to decline to answer if you don't want to get into the details --- I understand! But: When your wife says you robbed her of orgasms for so long - is that because of your frequent masturbation or was she not regularly orgasming even during intercourse?
@j-s Hi J.S. Yes, thanks for your reply and no problem answering. The answer is yes to both. If masturbation was a pro-sport like baseball, I might not have made it to the pro's, but I probably could have had a good AAA minor league career. This of course detracting from my performance during intercourse (certainly after my 30's). Additionally, Mrs's Bebop told me before we got married that not to be disappointed that she did not orgasm very easily or that often, so she felt fairly satisfied with a couple a month. While there is a historical reason for this, what we both learned is transferring control of our sex life to her was therapeutic for us both. She was able to put her history behind her and when using the chastity device stopped my masturbation, now when she desires intercourse she knows I am going to be 1000% ready to perform. Once we did this she had her first multiple orgasm of her life, and now I thinks she's addicted 😀 . Honestly we are not sure which was more effective, stopping the masturbation or her absolute control over our sex life - probably both; but its been one of the best decisions of our life. Circling back to the "robing her of orgasms" perhaps that comment comes from her becoming more comfortable taking control, but she was pretty salty for a long-time about it, and thinks we missed a bunch of years of better sex because of it and she does appear to be making up for lost time.