My name is Mark and wan to be a cuckold?

Hello, good everyone, my name is Mark and I'm 48 years old, I've been married for 12 years and ever since I met my wife I've been into cuckolding.

My fantasies range from seeing her on all fours sucking a black cock to being her blowjobber and cleaning the remains of my cuckold's cum off her pussy or her tits or ass, waiting behind a door, or acting as a chair while he fucks her on top of me.

When I met her at the height of the chatroom boom I pretended to be someone else and got her to show me her breasts while I talked to her on the cell phone because it was me and she didn't know it. That night I masturbated 5 times in a row within 2 hours.

Thinking I was a virtual cuckold.

I've told her a few times that I wouldn't mind being her consensual cuckold while we fuck but once I ejaculate the idea doesn't appeal to me enough and we don't talk about it again.

Still when I go several days without masturbating the idea of being a cuckold takes over my head and I would like to be one. Still I don't have enough balls to say it and think he won't let me.

I'm her breadwinner, I don't work and she earns the money, we fuck once a year at most and I can't hold out long enough to give her more than one orgasm if I give it to her.

Currently my penis measures 12 cm (4.6 inches) and is not very thick, not much for a multiorgasmica like her; what I do not understand is how she does not masturbate or already fucks with another because I masturbate daily and she says she does not.

I like interracial porn, dildos, humiliation ,SPH and female domination, I want to have a chastity belt without her knowing at the moment. A few months ago I bought a 20 cm penis that I like to compare with my penis to realize what she needs. By the way I like to suck it and I wouldn't mind cleaning her lovers cock if they want to and so does she. The idea of sissy cuckold also appeals to me.

I remember once in a pool how a foreigner tried to pick her up and she told him she was married showing him the ring, but seeing her there I had an erection ******* then I told her about it but she said nothing, laughed and little else.

I recently told her that my dick was getting smaller and smaller from not fucking and she laughed making the gesture with 2 fingers of small dick and that turns me on.

Does this evidence mean I want to be a cuckold? I should keep it as a fantasy and not risk losing my relationship, I should show her the dildo and tell her I want to buy a chastity belt?

Sex with her doesn't appeal to me unless she asks me to, I enjoy masturbating and fantasizing about being her cuckold. In fact I masturbate with her high heels in private and with a thong and a small buttplug in my ass while I look at a collage I made with a picture of her and an ex of hers.

Is my story normal, are there other people like this? Am I a future cuckold or is it just a fantasy?