Newby here

Hi Michael, welcome to the forum.

I'm in much the same position as you. I like the idea of male chastity and what it could bring to a very vanilla relationship but my better half isn't even vaguely interested. If it happens at all it's going to be a long slow process with much needed patience. I've recently graduated from a plastic device to metal which is far superior. As I'm self-locking, for the moment at least, I just love the look and feel of my cage and simply enjoy it as a piece of body jewellery that keeps my tackle tidy. I'm calling the new look steam-punk willy. Perhaps one day it will evolve into something more. 

Just be patient and don't pressurise your significant other. It's interesting though how it is us blokes who want to be locked up and, in the main, broach the subject and not the gals who think it's a crazy idea. You'd think the ladies would be leaping at the chance to have their blokes locked up and under their control.

@soundsofdelight

yes I agree with you. actually women should be happy to be able to restrict or remove masturbation from their husbands.but many shrink back at the thought.

I just want to be protected from myself. i don't want to be a submissive and submissive man. the dominant man she loves too. who just can no longer satisfy himself but only wants to live out together.

women don't seem superior.

even if the statistics here say that many women are dominant. just not ours.

I started out thinking in this way as well.  It took me a few years to realize that in effect I was trying to impose something on her which I am not sure is "evolved". 

What worked for me was to not masturbate without using a device and prove my devotion by truly doing what SHE wanted (which was not to have the responsibility of helping me manage what she saw as my issue... masturbating too much).

If you really are having trouble resisting the temptation you could try using a chastity device and locking the keys in a "Kitchen Safe" (google it).  That way you are resisting temptation plus not adding to her burden.  

When I've discussed this with friends who are apprehensive about orgasm control, they respond with things like "It's just masturbation, why can't he just control it?"

Willpower and self-control are attractive qualities in men but I don't think most women take the time to appreciate the difference in the sex drive that we feel as compared to the sex drive that men feel. From my understanding, our sex drive can be best related to an itch. If we ignore the itch, it will eventually just stop itching. For men, sex drive is more like a thirst. If you ignore it long enough your decisions will be based upon getting water to quench your thirst. Trying to not think about it has the opposite result and you end up thinking about it more.

Again, not a guy so this is an opinion that i've put together.

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

From my own experience, the male sex drive more like pressure building in a container. Day by day it gets more intense. Trying to ignore it will work up to a point, but that's all. This is why I believe most men (myself included) who want to achieve longer periods of abstinence from sexual release need a chastity cage, and someone to hold the key to enforce this habit. Mind over matter sounds like a cool idea, but it usually doesn't work. It's too bad so few women want anything to do this... ?  

@williamportor

Fair enough... a cage does make it easier but I think it helps if it isn't perceived as more work for them.

This is a great article for making the point of the mental burden of one more thing to keep track of...

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/21/parenting/women-gender-gap-domestic-work.html

@effort

I've startet to use a time lock when she is not in

but has little effect
would be more to feel the power of her

@emma

very correct emma, unfortunately too few women understand that. even if your statistics say something else. fact: women are not sexually dominant towards their husbands. Unfortunately

@williamportor

that is exactly the point, women do not help men to do this. it's not even about domination, it's just about help

Posted by: @williamportor

Mind over matter sounds like a cool idea, but it usually doesn't work. It's too bad so few women want anything to do this...  

It has worked for us, quite well actually.  I will tell you that even though a cage wasn't necessary for our use, the use of a well fitting cage that can be easily cleaned has been a game changer for us.  Even thought it isn't "necessary", having it be there is a wonderful symbol of who controls my sex.