Rookie

Hello! I’m a 47 year old man married 17 years to a very beautiful woman whom I cherish. My wife is a strong, smart successful woman whom I love and respect and we have a happy life. I’ve always felt my submissiveness but have never acted or expressed it to anyone directly.  I’ve dropped hints here and there but it seems my wife is reluctant to act on them. She has never been one to ask for any kind of kink or sexual beyond vanilla. I’ve always wanted my wife to be more adventurous and recently I’ve been more and more obsessed with my submissive side. I never looked at porn until the last year when I learned of femdom and FLR. Then I was hooked. One drunken night a month ago I got the courage to explain what it is to my wife and ask her if she would be interested in learning more about it. She surprised me and said she would and I immediately ordered some books that night on the topic for her and us to read. I think we are both a little apprehensive and nervous about this because the books sat unopened on her dresser for several weeks until last night. This weekend I asked her if she was ever going to read the books and she said she would read them while on her trip out of those this week. 
when I learned this last night I was so excited I couldn’t sleep. I am nervous, scared, excited all at once at what she will feel and think when she gets home. I’ve had years to develop my feelings and understanding of this and she is just now (at least to my knowledge) learning and thinking about it. I can only imagine how this could shake her understanding of who she thought I was. But we will work and talk it out together when she returns. And no matter how she decides to proceed it won’t change how I feel about her. 
I will still adore her, cherish her and serve her in my own way. It just may not be the same version I had in my fantasy. And that’s ok.