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We are not like the others.

Not Like The Others
(@not-like-the-others)
New Member

I know you all like to shit on cuckolds but me and my husband are happily married for going on twelve wonderful years and we are happy as can be. We were super vanilla when we both started dating and then my friend broke up with his girlfriend, we were all hanging out together after some drinks and bud and one thing led to another and we were having a threesome in our bed. My husband (boyfriend at the time) couldn't get hard he said he was anxious so he sat and watched me get absolutely railed by my friend. The friend stayed over and offered to sleep on the couch but I told him to stay in our bed. Hell he just fucked me right? I saw him off and on for about two years even while he was dating his wife to be. He got married and moved away but it suits us for me to have a little boyfriend action on the side. My husband and I get along just fine with not being society's normal and being not like the others. None of this is public and we only confide in a few of our friends about it but we love it! 

For my husband's birthday, I got a hotel room and told him there was a surprise waiting. We got to the room, there was a happy birthday balloon on the table. I told him to sit down at the table. He sat and I invited my nude boyfriend who was waiting in the bathroom to come out and we fucked while my husband watched. He said it was his best birthday ever. Not your normal couple but we do just fine and he loves every second of it and I adore him. To us the world cuckold represents the strength of not being afraid to be different in our society. It makes me sad that a site like this which is supposed to be sex positive doesn't use the word cuckold in a positive way and chooses instead to use some silly word like poly-friending. I am not going to make friends by criticizing, I know this but how about just embracing the word cuckold for what it is and don't try to sugar coat it?

 

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Topic starter Posted : 24/11/2021 10:13 am
Auggy liked
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

@not-like-the-others

I personally feel like the word comes off in a demeaning way to the man/cuck. Rather than try to normalize the term, I prefer to use a term that I feel more comfortable using. My fiancé is not my cuck. He is my lover and we added a third to our relationship for a period of time (almost a year) which is really when I began struggling with the term. Just because we added another to our relationship does not mean that he is any lesser than he was prior to the third. He was still the primary man in my life while the other (Andrew) was more of a bull role. I also don't like that role because I feel like these terms are not loving. Bull, cuck, cuckoldress. I like to normalize what others would consider fringe and kinky so my hope is that replacing terms will help others feel less marginalized by trying something that might just turn a new leaf over in a relationship. Not everyone is into the humiliation aspects around the subculture of cuckolding but some love it. I hope to find terms that make both feel accepted and I only do it with the best of intentions. Does that side of things make sense?

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Posted : 24/11/2021 1:02 pm
djv and subhubphx liked
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member Supporter
Posted by: @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j

I hope to find terms that make both feel accepted and I only do it with the best of intentions. Does that side of things make sense?

I happen to believe that "Ethical Non-Monogamy", although a vague term, accurately defines a mutually agreed upon beneficial arrangement made by a couple that participates in it.  

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Posted : 24/11/2021 1:46 pm
Emma
 Emma
(@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j)
Member Admin

@not-like-the-others Do you think you and others might find it less triggering if I use that term which is more widely accepted as @subhubphx pointed out. 

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Posted : 24/11/2021 3:35 pm
Not Like The Others
(@not-like-the-others)
New Member

It is better but what do you really find so wrong with the word cuckold? My husband is proudly a cuck, he loves when I can love openly and freely. His a better man than one who is not able to allow his wife such freedom. Sometimes there are different kinds of stimulation that we need like emotional or physical. Sometimes I want a man who can challenge me mentally and sometimes I want a guy who can arouse me physically with little to no mental connection even needed. After years of cheating because of unmet needs we found cuckolding and accepted that no man should be in a position where he must feel guilty if he cannot fully satisfy his wife's needs. Part of being a good husband is providing for his wife and my husband provides for me both mentally and physically.

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Topic starter Posted : 26/11/2021 8:48 am
subhubphx liked
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member Supporter

@not-like-the-others 

Everyone has their thing, and if that thing is within someone you love, it becomes a worthy matter for one to accept.  When this happens, there is no right or wrong, but rather the worthy thing we have with the one we love.  Wisdom comes in many forms, but the wisdom to have and love what we have with the one we love ... it is beautiful.

"Love the person, but give them total freedom.  Love the person, but from the very beginning make it clear you are not selling your freedom"   -   Osho

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Posted : 26/11/2021 10:12 am
Franco83
(@franco83)
Active Member

@notliketheothers We don't mind the term cuckold but we also like some humiliation and I don't think you can deny the word has a humiliating connotation. The word itself comes from the humiliation of an unsuspecting cuckoo bird raising another male bird's young without his knowledge. I am fully aware of my wife's consensual non-monogamy so I wonder if the term cuckold should be only for when the man does not know the wife is being unfaithful. Any time that he is aware maybe it should all be lumped into consensual non monogamy like subhub said. Or is that what hotwife would be?

We haven't gone "all the way" but my wife gave our date oral sex and I felt lots of familiar and new feelings during the experience. A little bit of jealousy from being excluded, frustration from being locked but before those could turn to anger I saw her light up and enjoy the experience it went to a blissful compersion. The feelings were expected and manageable but experiencing those positive feelings together was such an overwhelmingly good thing for us both. 

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Posted : 26/11/2021 10:57 am
Stevesub
(@stevesub)
Eminent Member

Cuckolding isn't a thing we do, so apologies for barging in here, but I don't think anyone here "shits" on those who do. It seems to me that one aspect of the practice is the humiliation visited on the cuck, at least for some, in which case a demeaning label is part of the thing. I would draw a distinction between cuckolding and, for instance. polyamory, and accept that cuckolding terminology wouldn't properly describe some relationships.

Sexual humiliation of me is part of what we do in our marriage, so to bland out the pejoratives would be to lessen the experience for me.

As ever, do what works for you so long as no-one is harmed and the pets aren't spooked. Even within a single kink there are many permutations, so plenty of scope for everyone.

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Posted : 27/11/2021 7:45 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member Supporter
Posted by: @stevesub

Cuckolding isn't a thing we do, so apologies for barging in here, but I don't think anyone here "shits" on those who do. It seems to me that one aspect of the practice is the humiliation visited on the cuck, at least for some, in which case a demeaning label is part of the thing. I would draw a distinction between cuckolding and, for instance. polyamory, and accept that cuckolding terminology wouldn't properly describe some relationships.

Sexual humiliation of me is part of what we do in our marriage, so to bland out the pejoratives would be to lessen the experience for me.

As ever, do what works for you so long as no-one is harmed and the pets aren't spooked. Even within a single kink there are many permutations, so plenty of scope for everyone.

I love this and completely agree.  Especially the 'what works for you' part.  I am a big believer in celebrating those who have found and do what works for them, whatever they or anyone else calls it.

The whole realm of humiliation is also fraught with opportunities to be mislabeled or unintentionally misused.  For me, the word humiliation has such a negative connotation to it that I like to avoid it terms of my own thoughts about my relationship with Ms. K.  For whatever it is worth, I can get my head around, and get aroused at the prospect of being required to do something embarrassing or even being embarrassed from words or descriptions that embarrass.  I would, this very minute, lower my pants to reveal my cage to, say a friend of my Wifes or in a setting with like-minded people if given an instruction to do so.  It would be embarrassing yes, but somehow for me doesn't qualify as humiliation and would be VERY exciting.  At the same time, if my Wife were to tell me to reveal my penis so she can demonstrate how inadequate it may be is to her, it would probably do some level of permanent damage, even if it were a just-kidding situation.  Again, to each our own.

Humiliation on the other hand, has the tendency and potential for undesirable things to be said or revealed that may or may not ring true.  Even in jest, there is some level of truth to humiliating words or actions designed to humiliate, and when the fun is over, the reality can remain in the mind of the humiliated.  That said, I do understand that some people indeed do genuinely get aroused and excited at actual or faux humiliation with no lingering negative meaning associated with it.  As such, I support and admire those that have the willingness and ability to live their best life.  

As far as cuckolding goes, again, in my own humble opinion ... the type of relationship where the Wife and her lover intend to purposely demean the husband as being replaced for being a pussy, or an inadequate partner has no interest for me.  Ms. K. has said that she has no interest in taking a lover (other than the two rubber boyfriends I recently got for her).  I don't have a fantasy of pushing her into something that she doesn't want to do all on her own.  If that were to change, that would her prerogative, and if it were to change, it would be my honor to see her have what she wanted.  Of course, we would communicate A LOT if her desires were to turn in that direction.  A lot would depend of course on specifically what and how she then decided she wanted such a thing, and I'm certain that the result of such a communication would result in there being a no humiliation, or even comparison hard limit.  Not trying to slice the baloney too thin, I think that would make her more of a Hotwife than a cuckoldress, unless of course we went to Websters to define what she would be.  We wouldn't.

Truth be told, for each of us it makes zero difference what others think it might be called.  Each of us should live and love in the wonderful lives we have created together, assuming of course that the one thing that Emma always preaches, and every reasonable person can agree is essential happens ... real, honest genuine communication.

 

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Posted : 27/11/2021 8:24 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member Supporter
Posted by: @subhubphx

The whole realm of humiliation is also fraught with opportunities to be mislabeled or unintentionally misused.  For me, the word humiliation has such a negative connotation to it that I like to avoid it terms of my own thoughts about my relationship with Ms. K

Food for Thought:

“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for hidden truth”

- George Bernard Shaw

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Posted : 28/11/2021 8:50 am

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