Who are you?
I have been following this site for a while and you started with very strict flr with weekly spankings until he would cry and now you seem more passive. Why the mixed messages?
Fair question. You are totally right, as time goes on we've tried various things. Some of those things have worked well while others have not. Much of what started me down this path was YogaGirl's now defunct FLR101 blog and to be honest, I took what YogaGirl said as more prescriptive than I should have.
The male orgasm denial worked so why wouldn't all of her advise? We tried spankings and various other femdom things that I found on other blogs as I tried to define what worked in our relationship. The femdom stuff was fun at the beginning but much of it didn't work well for us in the long term. For example, I didn't really enjoy bringing Kevin to tears with spankings. I actually do love the guy and I am looking for a more equal and even relationship. Does that mean the more femdommy side of things is bad? Absolutely not. Do what works for you and your relationship, I don't claim to know what is best for you.
Where do we stand now? We find a great deal of benefit for both of us when it comes to orgasm denial. We use a cage some of the time and we use the "on his honor" method some of the time. Male orgasms are so incredibly essential to a sense of emotional and relationship well being. They bring confidence, relaxation, stress relief and many other things. It is important to me that I am the only one to grant those to him.
Pegging is also an enormous part of our relationship, the act of penetrating him is incredible to watch and I love the emotional state that he enters when I am in the penetrative role. I've written a ton about the benefits but pegging and that one has stuck. Pun intended.
We play in all sorts of ways, we enjoy time together and we don't have too many rules in our relationship. He is more submissive and enjoys any time that I take a dominant role.
Thats cool. We all learn and grow about what makes us happy. Thanks for the blog and for clarifying the changes in the blog.
Thanks and I am happy to have you here. You are always welcome to call me on my shit anytime you want. Real talk!