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With the abundance of recent posts and comments surrounding wives and girlfriends having sexual partners other than their primary partner, and the confusion that often goes along with the use terms in that regard, I came across article that (I think) does a pretty good job of briefly and thoroughly explaining the different varieties of terms. Explicit pictures associated with the article have been removed because, well, this is a classy joint. Here is the link to the aritcle:
http://www.velvetreviews.com/blog/what-is-the-difference-between-a-hotwife-and-cuckold-relationship/
What is the difference between a Hotwife and Cuckold relationship
Hotwifes and Cuckoldress
There are dozens, if not hundreds, of sites that "explain" the differences between these two. But after reading so many I am fairly convinced that there is no actual definition, at least not that I have found, feel free to correct me. It really seems to come down to attitude and intent. The best I can tell there is a LOT of cross-over between the two.
A woman is sometimes considered a "Hotwife" or "Slut-wife" when she enjoys sex with people other than her husband, she is looking for more sex. It seems that the Cuckoldress most often has additional partner for quality reasons. Her husband is inadequate for a variety of different reasons. It seems that the relationship between the cuckoldress and her husband is often one of dominance and humiliation. Interestingly it seems that whether the woman is a Hotwife or a Cuckoldress the husband is usually referred to as a cuckold. This may be why it is so hard to find consistent definitions.
Common to Most Cuckolds
There appears to be somethings that are shared between the sub-types. Most men interested in this kind of relationship or lifestyle (depending on how far they want to take it) seem to be quite intelligent and most often pretty successful. The other thing that appears to be true is that most Cuckolds seem to be very monogamous. When this type of relationship or lifestyle first is first suggested the wife often assumes that their husband is setting a "trap" in which, once the wife starts having sex with other men, the husband will be free to have sex with other women. I have no pages that suggest that this is the case.
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Dominate Cuckold
Although this term may not be correct, I have found that there are a number of husbands that ARE dominate. Usually the female in this relationship is a Hotwife or Slut-wife. These men often seem to do the actual arrangements for their spouse. They post the ads or interview the prospective lovers. Most often from what I have read these guys are voyeurs and rarely do their Hotwives play alone, nor do these men usually participate in cream pies or clean ups. When they play with the wife and her lover it is usually in MFM where the men have little or no contact. Although it appears there is a lot of cross-over between the cuckold sub-types, the Dominate Cuckold seems to cross over the least.
Submissive Cuckold
The Submissive Cuckold's partner seems to be a Hotwife as often as she is a Cuckoldress. This cuckold sub-type's primary concern is the pleasure of his wife. Although he may not derive pleasure for himself by being submissive he often does. He enjoys hearing of her experiences, he helps her dress for her dates and often refers to her lovers as Bulls. He may let his wife and/or her lover to direct his actions for the purpose of sex or to help them enjoy themselves more. He may stand patiently near them during their session waiting for direction.
Bi Cuckold
The Bi Cuckold likes to participate with his Hotwife/Cuckoldress and her lover/Bull especially in an MMF threesome. He often enjoys the cream pie clean up. He may have chosen to be in this type of relationship in order to have access to sexual contact with another guy without needing to admit or be labeled as "bisexual" or gay. He likes to have contact with both her lover and her lover. It may be as simple and discrete as guiding her lover's cock into her pussy or as overt as performing oral sex or allowing her lover/Bull to penetrate him anally. There is something sexy about "fluffing" your spouses lover for round two.
Chastity/Humiliation/Sissy Cuckold
This sub-type may be the most broad as it is kind of a catch-all. It seems to range from guys who get please from knowing their Hotwife/Cuckoldress' lover/Bull has a larger penis all the way to husbands who like to wear women's clothing and cock cages. I really can't speak to this a lot because it is what I have probably read the least about. Cross dressing and chastity are definately not my thing.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Posted : 28/08/2020 11:53 am
I actually find myself taking offense to the term cuckold because of it's fetishy or derogatory implications toward the "cuck". I also associate the term hotwife with swinger so we like to use the term poly or poly-dating or poly-friend.
I coined the terms due to lack of better ones so there might be better definitions somewhere.
Thanks for the link!
Posted : 28/08/2020 12:54 pm
Topic starter
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
I agree Emma. I failed to pick up on your use of the word poly-friend organically, so thank you for your reply. I'm going to adopt that term in whatever conversations may ensue with my Wife. As I am on my journey toward a potential poly-friend scenario, I also found the term cuckold offensive for the same reasons. I'm an alpha person in every aspect of life with the one exception being submissive to my my in a loving, caring beautiful WLM that is anything but fetishy. If it were to happen in my relationship with my wife it would only be because it was something she would genuinely want to have happen for HER, not me. I have no interest in being perceived in the common derogatory manner associated with the word cuckold. Likewise, I wouldn't want for my beloved Wife to ever feel like she were perceived as a slut or smarmy swinger common definition that accompanies hotwife.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing this article @subhubphx.
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j, I'm a bit in your case and that's what I was talking about in my post. Namely what am I. I've never been comfortable with the name cuckoldress.
If you don't mind, I'm going to borrow the term poly friend. I think that's the situation in which I recognize myself the most even if that's not exactly that.
Posted : 28/08/2020 1:35 pm
The term is all-yours under the condition that you let me know if you find one that suits the dynamic of your relationship better. I think we are all trying to convey the same thing.
Husband with something extra on the side.
I don't use the term polyamorous because I don't amour him, there is no love. It is just a friends with benefits situation and while I enjoy it immensely, love doesn't fit in the type of relationship. Although it is great in many ways, it is primarily a physical not an emotional relationship.
Posted : 28/08/2020 1:43 pm
Thanks @evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
That's exactly why the term polyamorous bothers me (maybe even more than cuckoldress).
As I already said here, I love my husband, not my friend. He is a friend, someone with whom I like to spend time (sexually or not) but with whom I absolutely do not see my life being built.
My friend will never know me the way my husband knows me.
So until I find a better one, I'm borrowing your word. And I promise that if one day I find something that suits me better, I will let you know.
Posted : 28/08/2020 2:08 pm
Topic starter
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
You know .... is it too much of a pain to perhaps amend the name of forum to Swinging, Sharing and Poly-friending?
Posted : 28/08/2020 2:34 pm
I am peteran's wife and do not have my own account nor have I posted anything here before. But I had to chime in. People seem to think everything needs a name or fit in a category. Everyone is different every situation is different what I like you may not like or understand. Some men want to be humiliated, some women need multiple lovers, some women need a husband and a boyfriend. IE a lover and a fucker. Some women need a husband and a girl partner. Everyone is different so if it works for you that is all that matters. Recently my friend who got me/us into male chastity wondered why I did not have someone on the side. She seemed to think unless I cuckolded my husband we were just playing and were not serious about his caging. She is in her late 30's and I am 59. I had to tell her we have been married 40 years and have pretty much done it all but neither of us had every been unfaithful in our eyes. We did the orgy thing in college more than once as that was a thing then before we admitted neither of us liked it. We have had mmf threesomes, ffm threesomes and a fffm foursome and got no real enjoyment from any of it. My husband is not turned on by lesbianism but thought I liked it which I didn't. He does not like watching me get fucked by another man and so I don't. He does not like fucking someone in front of me. I secretly like watching but don't push it. In the mmf he sucked the other m's cock but says he doesn't need to do it again. I told her we have tried it all and seem to know we like. Caging him seems to work for both of us and is enough on its own. People to quit the need to label everything and let things people and couples enjoy exist on their own. If you enjoy cuckolding or being cuckold I won't judge you. Don't judge us for not practicing that along with his lock up.
Probably my first and last response/post but the topic hit a nerve. I do however enjoy reading the site.
Posted : 25/02/2021 7:03 am
Topic starter
People to quit the need to label everything and let things people and couples enjoy exist on their own. If you enjoy cuckolding or being cuckold I won't judge you. Don't judge us for not practicing that along with his lock up.
Bravo!
Posted : 25/02/2021 10:21 am
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
Whatever term one uses one has to ask if it is for the benefit of others as opposed to the couple themselves? I'm not sure that I need to put a label on our lifestyle choices as such, but rather we know what we like and how we like it. Why do we need a label on how we wish to conduct our sex life?
Aren't these terms only really of benefit to those who are looking for porn? After all we don't say "I'm a missionary position person" or "I'm a multi position sexual gymnast!". But we seem obsessed with putting everyone in neat boxes with a label on top. In my life I have been many things so far, and I'm sure there are a few surprises yet to come, but not one thing defines me. I have been monogamous, then I've chosen not to be and at the moment I am again (thanks Covid!). So how do you label that?
Topic starter
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j
Whatever term one uses one has to ask if it is for the benefit of others as opposed to the couple themselves? I'm not sure that I need to put a label on our lifestyle choices as such, but rather we know what we like and how we like it. Why do we need a label on how we wish to conduct our sex life?
Aren't these terms only really of benefit to those who are looking for porn? After all we don't say "I'm a missionary position person" or "I'm a multi position sexual gymnast!". But we seem obsessed with putting everyone in neat boxes with a label on top. In my life I have been many things so far, and I'm sure there are a few surprises yet to come, but not one thing defines me. I have been monogamous, then I've chosen not to be and at the moment I am again (thanks Covid!). So how do you label that?
So very well said @mstara! Thank you for articulating it so well.
Posted : 18/03/2021 6:38 am
