Wife's Opinion of Husband

Hi @franco83! I can only speak for myself but I absolutely think that wife's opinion of her husband changes when they shift their marriage to a cuckold, hotwife or poly-friending (my preferred term) type of marriage. In these types of relationships, I feel that the husband must transcend typical relationship roles and have a deeper love for his wife. In many relationships, the woman almost seems like a prize or an object that is owned by the husband. 

In this type of relationship, the husband becomes a partner in addition to a lover. When Kev and I had this experience with Andrew, I truly saw a deeper and more connected side of Kev. The shift in relationship dynamic made it clear that he was in it for the long haul and wanted to be my partner for life. Sex with him was more slow, gentle and loving while sex with Andrew became more carnal and lustful. 

A shift in understanding for your partner's love occurs in this type of relationship and I think it is inevitable that the opinion of her husband will change. Communicate frequently and openly about the feelings that you are experiencing together. I imagine that you will be shocked at how deep your connection with your partner can become. Kev and I are more connected with each passing day and it is truly inspiring to know that I have a partner in life that can share such a deep connection with me.

I think the reason that I dislike the term cuck/cuckold is the way porn portrays them. They portray men who take an emotionally forward role with their wife as a worthless man who is ineffective or unable to please his wife and needs another man to do it for him. This is rarely the case and certainly not the case in my relationship. Kev is great at pleasing me but the passion can wane in a long term relationship or marriage. A boyfriend can bring that spark back to a woman's sexuality even if just for a time. I believe that most women need at least a certain level newness to feel sexually invigorated. I invite all of the women with long term partners to ask yourself, is your sexual drive what it was when you first met your partner? Does the prospect of a perfectly safe opportunity to have attention of some kind from a very attractive man pique your interest? If so you might consider that society has conditioned you to limit your happiness and stifle the sexual being that you are.

@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j Neither Dave or I are considering a poly-amorous relationship.  We still get a spark all the time.  But your statement " Kev is great at pleasing me but the passion can wane in a long term relationship or marriage. A boyfriend can bring that spark back to a woman's sexuality even if just for a time. I believe that most women need at least a certain level newness to feel sexually invigorated. I invite all of the women with long term partners to ask yourself, is your sexual drive what it was when you first met your partner?"  makes me wonder.  Does the same apply to the male?  Do males at some point need someone new to keep the spark burning?

@steph I think the answer to your question is yes, males also have a natural desire for newness.  That’s why some men cheat on their wives.  Men who are faithful to their wives out of moral conviction nevertheless desire other women and sometimes struggle with the temptation to cheat if the opportunity arises.  Viewing porn is probably the main way most men deal with that desire for newness.  Viewing porn for the purpose of masturbation can be seen as a mental simulation of sex with a woman who is new to him.  Men also use porn to “light a spark” before having sex with their wives.  Husbands who are turned on by the idea of their wives having sex with other men often experience compersion (getting pleasure from their partners pleasure) because they know introspectively how exciting newness can be.  Those of us who are into cuckolding experience one sided polyamory as a form of power exchange.  We are turned on by our wives enjoying a sexual experience that is denied to us.  The power exchange dynamic becomes mind blowing when the wife keeps her husband in chastity while exploring her own desire for sexual newness. 

One further point. In a cuckolding relationship, some of us men experience the thrill of newness vicariously, through our wives. I remember the first time my wife had sex with another man.  I didn’t witness it, but she texted me to tell me she was doing it.  That drove my own desire for my wife through the roof, and when she came home it was as though she was a whole new woman to me, with all the excitement that entails.  I hope that answers your question.

It's a difficult question to answer as the dynamics of a marriage change over time anyway. There are lots of factors that cause this with age, stress, finances etc all contributing to how two people relate to each other. 
And I think that the introduction of another partner into the dynamic also adds change but it probably depends how a couple get to that point.

For us it was a gradual process and one that I was resistant to for a long time despite him bringing the topic up from time to time. Sadly he suffers from ED, and I was becoming acutely aware that this was quite depressing for him. What I didn't appreciate was that this wasn't only about his ability to maintain an erection, but a large factor was that he felt he was failing me by not being able to have PIV.
Now don't get me wrong, I did miss PIV, but that isn't everything in a long term relationship (at least for me) and we found other ways of enjoying a healthy and fulfilling sex life. I think in the end I was overwhelmed by his concerns for me that I should be having a fully rounded sexual experience that finally made me change my mind and become open to the possibility. 

So to answer the original question my opinion of my husband changed in that I was/and am so moved that he wants me to enjoy everything in life that he willingly encourages me to experience sex with another man. There is no coercion, no pornification and no humiliation involved but it is the result of a deep love for me, and in turn me for him, that enable this to be a positive experience for both of us.

@mstara so many things on this site come from such a place of deep selfless love. This is a great community of people with such wonderful hearts. Your relationship could have been doomed but you figured it out. 

I have always offered my wife the opportunity of being a cuckoldress but this is something she has no interest in unfortunately, despite me being her only sexual partner. She says that I fulfil all of her sexual needs and enjoys the devotional aspects of an FLR. I do enjoy reading posts such as these though and how others have used cuckolding to deepen their relationship, so far removed from the porn presented. There’s also been some wonderful stories presented on the Keys and Anklets podcast where the couples interviewed are clearly so deeply in love.

I am new to this but the fact that my husband is open to the idea allowing me to explore myself is an incredible turn-on and it makes me more confident in our relationship. Emma said something about seeking the traits in a boyfriend that are different than I already have in my husband and that resinated with us. It also made both of us more confident about this step and him more confident that nobody is looking to replace him. I've never felt so connected to anyone like I am with my husband and he makes me so happy every day.

Posted by: @janell

I am new to this but the fact that my husband is open to the idea allowing me to explore myself is an incredible turn-on and it makes me more confident in our relationship. Emma said something about seeking the traits in a boyfriend that are different than I already have in my husband and that resinated with us. It also made both of us more confident about this step and him more confident that nobody is looking to replace him. I've never felt so connected to anyone like I am with my husband and he makes me so happy every day.

Glad your husband is open to this. JMHO - The gradual approach is usually best. Perhaps start by the 3 of you going out to dinner, with you and your "date" sitting together, or going shopping with you and your date walking together. As everyone becomes more comfortable with this you can slowly proceed to more intimate encounters. You can make this situation flow more smoothly by introducing a male chastity cage to your husband, and start training him into gradually longer periods of orgasm denial. This may sound medieval, but sexual tension and frustration causes the male to become more meek and submissive to his lady keyholder. This will reduce his tendency to protest or change his mind as you and your date become more intimate in the weeks and months to follow, and can also work well if you decide to introduce some sexual teasing, pegging, or sensual spanking into your marriage as well.  ?