I think we hit a roadblock. My wife and I were experimenting with pegging and chastity and she liked it. Yes, she still has to embrace the more dominant role, but it seems she is hesitant to take the reigns. I haven't been in chastity for almost a month, but I have been chaste mentally for the same period not wanting to spill my seed and/or betray her. I try to talk with her, but it feels like we are stonewalled...also because of everything going on in our life. Work, kids, etc...
Does someone have any tips to take this hurdle? Maybe experience with this kind of situation. I really want to take this further as it seemed we were on track for more.
hi! This is a great note and I think I have experienced these peaks and valleys in our relationship (but also look for patterns, because while this means a lot to you and me sexually and emotionally, my wife also eagerly embraced the Vitamix for a time and then even that took a lull).
I don't have all the answers. I don't even have all the questions. The only think I can provide is anecdotally what was going on with my wife. It was a combination of life stuff that basically made her sexual feelings feel more like work to her. It was a combination of reduced libido, keyholder anxiety, keyholder guilt -- actually mostly just plain old decision fatigue. That is the best way to put it. The worst part, for me, was whether that decision fatigue was contributing to her reduced libido.
So, first we talked about it. Basically, how are you feeling? Is there more stuff that I can be doing? And at some point I asked, is this a pause or a shift and would she like to talk about it?
Let me skip a bunch of the back and forth, but what I wound up doing for her was creating a game. Have we already talked about this? She loved seeing me in chastity, she loved dominating me, she loved denying me orgasms, but she was having trouble with the decisions, choices and having to be the cruise director. I totally get that.
I thought about dice. I thought about a spinner wheel. But what I came up with is a card game. The cards are gorgeous, casino-grade professional cards so they would feel great in her hand and make the experience feel BOSS-LEVEL. These cards really reduce the number of decisions that she has to make. Basically shuffling the deck and agreeing to play. The cards will basically choose how long you are locked up for, but continuing to play will likely add more time. I basically, beg to play a card because I want the rewards or tasks that are in the cards (note mutual dildo play included, aka pegging and reverse pegging). The game is very fluid, it is almost set up that she would have to choose to end the game and let my sentence run out, otherwise, I can be locked indefinitely but enjoying the games rewards and frustrations.Â
The game is called Spellbound and there is info in my profile.
Having said all this - I think it might be a good option for you and your wife, but it doesn't totally bridge where you are right now. Much like I don't think I could have just introduced this game to my wife in the lull, we needed to communicate up to it. Hopefully, this will give you an idea for moving forward.