How life can get in...
 
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How life can get in the way

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mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

As you'll probably know from my previous posts my hubby is locked pretty much permanently these days. We started with chastity about 8 or 9 years ago and slowly over the years it has evolved as we've learned more and started to understand our own sexual desires and needs.

Two years ago (Nov 2018) we bought a cage from mature metal, a bird cage. It was expensive but as it was custom made it was actually a game changer in our relationship. Because it was made to measure, it meant that martin could wear it for long periods of time and there was no need for removal, he could sleep in it, wash in it and pretty much do everything except go through security gates in it. So from that time it hasn't been off him very much and even when it is, it's only for very short periods. 

There was also another pivotal change in that I paid to go and have a consultation with a professional Domme. Now I don't regard myself as a dominatrix in the slightest, but there are elements of an FLR or WLR (never sure what the difference is!) in our marriage and I wanted to explore with her some of the aspects of her world to see if there was anything I could incorporate into our marriage. One of the outcomes of this conversation was how she changed my mindset around my own sexuality, my thinking about what fidelity means in relation to my own marriage and the fact that there are no rights or wrongs with chastity as long as you are both consensual.

Now martin had shared with me on a number of occasions his desire for me to be with another man, something that I'd shrugged off as never going to happen. However, as you'll know, a situation arose in which I have embarked on a relationship with someone else. martin would say that this was the next logical step in his mind as he'd been denied for so long, but it was still a massive step for me and one that I grappled with in my mind both before, during and after the initial meetings. However we'd got to a point where I think we had reconciled our guilt, fear, angst and insecurities and got to a point where we could explore this new dynamic unfettered. 

My last meeting with Michael was back in January. As usual it was at a seminar that lasted a couple of days in which I spent my nights in his room instead of mine. We were due to meet again in June, but of course the pandemic struck and all 'normal' plans went out the window. However I have a weeks leave due, which martin and I are taking at the beginning of November. We planned a city break to one of the northern cities in England. The Airbnb is booked and our work diaries are cleared. As it is in the north, and closer to Michael, I'd made contact with him and arranged for him to join me (us) for a night, or maybe more. This is an exciting prospect for me as it's been 10 months since I've been with him and of course martin has never met Michael.

But now the infection rate is climbing rapidly, particularly in the North, and new measures on lockdown will be announced today, all of which put our plans in peril. I can't tell you how disappointing this is looking. I still hope we get our break but it's looking less likely.

So the moral of this diatribe I guess is, just when you think you've got your sh*t in order and things seem to be falling into place, something happens to bugger it all up and send you back to square one.

Oh well at least we are Covid free and still earning - and there's a lot to be said for that.

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Topic starter Posted : 12/10/2020 2:58 am
thedarkmitchell, Craigdm66, AandM and 1 people liked
dharmaproject
(@dharmaproject)
Eminent Member

I hate to say it but it isn’t life that got in the way, it is 2020 and Covid. 

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Posted : 12/10/2020 6:35 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Honorable Member
Posted by: @mstara

As it is in the north, and closer to Michael, I'd made contact with him and arranged for him to join me (us) for a night, or maybe more. This is an exciting prospect for me as it's been 10 months since I've been with him and of course martin has never met Michael.

I'm sorry to hear that real-life circumstances are possibly getting in the way of you (and your husband) from experiencing this growth moment in your marriage and in your life.  Had you decided whether or not having Martin meet Michael also included Michael witnessing or participating in your sex with Michael, or is/was the plan for Martin to leave or otherwise make himself scarce.  

I can't help but be very intrigued by the ethical non-monogamy relationships described in this site by you and the other amazing women in it.  Ms. K. does not have sex outside of our marriage and has said that she has no interest.  Clearly I understand that her position could change over time and as I have said in the past, if that were to ever happen, the specific manner in which it might/would happen would determine how (or even if, i suppose) i could or would handle it.

Thank you for sharing your topic.  As always, it is nice to see you again.

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Posted : 12/10/2020 7:59 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

@dharmaproject

 

Yes, that was what I was trying to say in an inept kind of way.

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Topic starter Posted : 12/10/2020 10:06 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

@subhubphx

The place that we've rented is a very small cottage that has a little bedroom and bathroom upstairs and a lounge and kitchen on the ground floor.
The plan was for Martin to meet Michael and maybe watch for a while, but ultimately the bedroom isn't big enough for three, so he would have to sleep downstairs in the lounge. Martin certainly wouldn't be participating and would remain locked throughout, but that's how he is normally.

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Topic starter Posted : 12/10/2020 10:12 am
subhubphx and AandM liked
Machomissive2
(@machomissive2)
Active Member

Plz don't take offense me tara but mind if I ask if english is your second language. I haven't read enough of your posts to be able to tell...but the verbage you use is peculiar...so it's not a matter of mess more a distorted pattern

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Posted : 12/10/2020 2:42 pm
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

@machomissive2

No offense taken, but no English is my first language.
I do like to use words that perhaps are not used everyday as I have always had a love of writing and the English language.
Sorry if that isn't helping your translation.

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Topic starter Posted : 13/10/2020 12:30 am
spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member
Posted by: @mstara

@machomissive2

No offense taken, but no English is my first language.
I do like to use words that perhaps are not used everyday as I have always had a love of writing and the English language.
Sorry if that isn't helping your translation.

Well @mstara we all know the differences that exist between the kings english and american english LOL

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Posted : 22/10/2020 2:53 pm
J.S.
 J.S.
(@j-s)
Trusted Member

I do hope that you guys were still able to get together and that it all worked out. I am sure Martin loved the idea of finally being able to listen and maybe even watch as Michael made love to you. 

Hopefully if it didn't work out this time you will be able to book again soon in a few months. Any updates would be appreciated! 

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Posted : 07/01/2021 9:45 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

@j-s

We were fortunate that we were still able to get our week away even though on the way there our government announced a lockdown for the middle of our break. However as we were already away when the lockdown came into force, the rules allowed us to stay until our original intended return date.

This meant that I was indeed able to see Michael as we had planned, which I have to say was a wonderful experience after such a long separation. We had almost two full days together in the end, with one night.

I don't want to become too lurid here, as this isn't the forum for that, but suffice to say that I was very satisfied by the end and Martin remained chaste throughout. 

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Topic starter Posted : 08/01/2021 4:31 am
J.S.
 J.S.
(@j-s)
Trusted Member

@mstara - thanks for the response. Although I would love the lurid details I understand you not posting them here (please point me in the right direction if you do though!). 

I am curious as to the emotions for both you and Martin though and how different it was with him there. Since this was his first time listening or watching as you cuckolded him - how did he react to that? Was it what he expected as far as intensity and his own feelings?

For your part - how did you feel knowing he was there listening or watching? Did it change any of the ways you acted or responded to Michael? How did you change your behavior towards Martin, if at all, while Michael was there? 

Finally, you mention that Martin was in chastity the entire time - how long after Michael departed did Martin wait in chastity? 

I am glad that everything worked out and you were able to see Michael and have such a great experience despite the current circumstances! 

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Posted : 08/01/2021 1:08 pm
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

@j-s

I think it is fair to say that this was uncharted territory for all three of us and consequently there was a fair amount of trepidation. As it got closer to the time Martin became a little subdued and I got more nervous, we had discussed this before hand of course, but when it starts to become real it takes on a different dynamic.

However at the end of the day the Rubicon of introducing someone else into our marriage had already been crossed and we agreed that this was just an extension of that. I guess we weren't sure if it would be a good idea for all three of us to be together but Martin and I agreed that we could stop at any point either of us felt it was not going okay.

It is reasonable to say that it was an intense experience for both of us and it's one that to some extent we are still unpacking. On reflection I think we both agree that we all kind of played to stereo types a bit over the two days and initially I think the classic roles in these type of situations were 'hammed' up a bit. But it all settled down after a while as the real self comes out.

Now we have put some distance between the event we are able to evaluate the experience. I enjoyed doing something that I know that Martin had wanted for a long time, which is not to say that is my only motivation, and he says that it gave him a great deal of pleasure too. Michael says it was a bit weird for him, with Martin being there but that he wouldn't rule it out again.

To your specific question about when I unlocked Martin after Michael left, it was a couple of days, near the end of the week.

I just like to say that I have a great deal of respect for @Emma, Kevin and Andrew. Their journey of living together full time for some months now in a small apartment is no mean feat. Our experience was intense and full on but only over two days. I can't imagine how that can be sustained for weeks on end - hats off to them.

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Topic starter Posted : 10/01/2021 2:01 am
subhubphx liked
J.S.
 J.S.
(@j-s)
Trusted Member

@mstara

Thank you so much for your reply. It really is interesting how when people are not sure how to react they go with what they have seen/heard and that usually means falling into stereotypes. It is nice that all 3 of you were able to discuss this after and use it as a learning experience. Should you choose to get together like this again I am sure all 3 of you will be more comfortable and your reactions will likely be more natural to yourselves rather than to the part you think you should play. 

I am glad you all had a great time and I am especially sure that Martin was very appreciative of being unlocked before the week was out after seeing and hearing how much fun you had already had with Michael that vacation! 

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Posted : 13/01/2021 1:34 pm
mstara liked
J.S.
 J.S.
(@j-s)
Trusted Member

@mstara 

Have you been able to see Michael or any other men since this wonderful get away? Hopefully with the pandemic restrictions at least starting to lift you will be able to see him soon! 

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Posted : 12/07/2021 11:10 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Estimable Member

Yes, I was able to get away at the beginning of June and was able to see Michael again. Martin and I had a week away, a bit like our November week, and did much the same thing.

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Topic starter Posted : 14/07/2021 3:53 am
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