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How life can get in the way  

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mstara
(@mstara)
Trusted Member

As you'll probably know from my previous posts my hubby is locked pretty much permanently these days. We started with chastity about 8 or 9 years ago and slowly over the years it has evolved as we've learned more and started to understand our own sexual desires and needs.

Two years ago (Nov 2018) we bought a cage from mature metal, a bird cage. It was expensive but as it was custom made it was actually a game changer in our relationship. Because it was made to measure, it meant that martin could wear it for long periods of time and there was no need for removal, he could sleep in it, wash in it and pretty much do everything except go through security gates in it. So from that time it hasn't been off him very much and even when it is, it's only for very short periods. 

There was also another pivotal change in that I paid to go and have a consultation with a professional Domme. Now I don't regard myself as a dominatrix in the slightest, but there are elements of an FLR or WLR (never sure what the difference is!) in our marriage and I wanted to explore with her some of the aspects of her world to see if there was anything I could incorporate into our marriage. One of the outcomes of this conversation was how she changed my mindset around my own sexuality, my thinking about what fidelity means in relation to my own marriage and the fact that there are no rights or wrongs with chastity as long as you are both consensual.

Now martin had shared with me on a number of occasions his desire for me to be with another man, something that I'd shrugged off as never going to happen. However, as you'll know, a situation arose in which I have embarked on a relationship with someone else. martin would say that this was the next logical step in his mind as he'd been denied for so long, but it was still a massive step for me and one that I grappled with in my mind both before, during and after the initial meetings. However we'd got to a point where I think we had reconciled our guilt, fear, angst and insecurities and got to a point where we could explore this new dynamic unfettered. 

My last meeting with Michael was back in January. As usual it was at a seminar that lasted a couple of days in which I spent my nights in his room instead of mine. We were due to meet again in June, but of course the pandemic struck and all 'normal' plans went out the window. However I have a weeks leave due, which martin and I are taking at the beginning of November. We planned a city break to one of the northern cities in England. The Airbnb is booked and our work diaries are cleared. As it is in the north, and closer to Michael, I'd made contact with him and arranged for him to join me (us) for a night, or maybe more. This is an exciting prospect for me as it's been 10 months since I've been with him and of course martin has never met Michael.

But now the infection rate is climbing rapidly, particularly in the North, and new measures on lockdown will be announced today, all of which put our plans in peril. I can't tell you how disappointing this is looking. I still hope we get our break but it's looking less likely.

So the moral of this diatribe I guess is, just when you think you've got your sh*t in order and things seem to be falling into place, something happens to bugger it all up and send you back to square one.

Oh well at least we are Covid free and still earning - and there's a lot to be said for that.

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Posted : 12/10/2020 2:58 am
dharmaproject
(@dharmaproject)
Active Member

I hate to say it but it isn’t life that got in the way, it is 2020 and Covid. 

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Posted : 12/10/2020 6:35 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Reputable Member
Posted by: @mstara

As it is in the north, and closer to Michael, I'd made contact with him and arranged for him to join me (us) for a night, or maybe more. This is an exciting prospect for me as it's been 10 months since I've been with him and of course martin has never met Michael.

I'm sorry to hear that real-life circumstances are possibly getting in the way of you (and your husband) from experiencing this growth moment in your marriage and in your life.  Had you decided whether or not having Martin meet Michael also included Michael witnessing or participating in your sex with Michael, or is/was the plan for Martin to leave or otherwise make himself scarce.  

I can't help but be very intrigued by the ethical non-monogamy relationships described in this site by you and the other amazing women in it.  Ms. K. does not have sex outside of our marriage and has said that she has no interest.  Clearly I understand that her position could change over time and as I have said in the past, if that were to ever happen, the specific manner in which it might/would happen would determine how (or even if, i suppose) i could or would handle it.

Thank you for sharing your topic.  As always, it is nice to see you again.

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Posted : 12/10/2020 7:59 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Trusted Member

@dharmaproject

 

Yes, that was what I was trying to say in an inept kind of way.

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Posted : 12/10/2020 10:06 am
mstara
(@mstara)
Trusted Member

@subhubphx

The place that we've rented is a very small cottage that has a little bedroom and bathroom upstairs and a lounge and kitchen on the ground floor.
The plan was for Martin to meet Michael and maybe watch for a while, but ultimately the bedroom isn't big enough for three, so he would have to sleep downstairs in the lounge. Martin certainly wouldn't be participating and would remain locked throughout, but that's how he is normally.

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Posted : 12/10/2020 10:12 am
subhubphx and AandM liked
Machomissive2
(@machomissive2)
Active Member

Plz don't take offense me tara but mind if I ask if english is your second language. I haven't read enough of your posts to be able to tell...but the verbage you use is peculiar...so it's not a matter of mess more a distorted pattern

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Posted : 12/10/2020 2:42 pm
mstara
(@mstara)
Trusted Member

@machomissive2

No offense taken, but no English is my first language.
I do like to use words that perhaps are not used everyday as I have always had a love of writing and the English language.
Sorry if that isn't helping your translation.

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Posted : 13/10/2020 12:30 am
spinpole2001
(@spinpole2001)
Trusted Member
Posted by: @mstara

@machomissive2

No offense taken, but no English is my first language.
I do like to use words that perhaps are not used everyday as I have always had a love of writing and the English language.
Sorry if that isn't helping your translation.

Well @mstara we all know the differences that exist between the kings english and american english LOL

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Posted : 22/10/2020 2:53 pm
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