My journey has been accelerating

@allabouther You have inspired me to do something similar in future but I'm a bit trashier and less polished than you. I'm going to give someone one of these briefcases and the ability for her to write whatever marriage/relationship contract she wants to put in it. She can then cash in her contract opportunity and if she can beat me in a fight, I will agree to whatever her terms are.

WWE Money in the Bank Commemorative Briefcase

Posted by: @lbp6855

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I'm wondering what the arbitration process is like with a contract like this. There probably isn't much legal precedent in FLR contract law and it is like the wild west.

You are correct about there not being any legal precedent for FLR contracts.  They are totally unenforceable in law for a list of reasons.  They ARE, however, morally enforceable between the parties.  That is to say, for so long as the parties mutually consent, and no crimes are being committed, no government or third-party can interfere.

My wife and I both realize that neither of us could bring a lawsuit to enforce the agreement.  But, if we are down to lawsuits, the FLR contract is a dead letter in any case, right?  We'd be looking at divorce, which is a much bigger deal.

We went through the exercise of drafting this agreement to explore the depth and true nature of the moral commitment between us. What I think is special about this agreement isn't the kink or the submission that it enshrines.  It is the provisions about continually revisiting the agreement to make sure that it remains up to date with us and our mutual desires.  Most contracts are completed, signed, filed away, and forgotten.  We expect ours to be living and breathing because it is our antidote to complacency and the unrelenting pressure of the whirlwind of everyday life. 

We didn't do this because my wife wants my wants me to be something akin to a slave.  We did it because we want to be purposeful about providing each other with a fulfilling life.

Posted by: @subhubphx

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Would you mind if I were to present this contract to my wife for consideration?

I would be honored, @subhubphx, if our humble ideas could help you in your own quest to make your queen's life extraordinary.

Posted by: @lbp6855

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I'm going to give someone one of these briefcases and the ability for her to write whatever marriage/relationship contract she wants to put in it. She can then cash in her contract opportunity and if she can beat me in a fight, I will agree to whatever her terms are.

That sure sounds like fun.  But, the best thing about our FLR, to me, is not that it is a fantasy about what could be.  It is that I actually get to live it full-time, 24/7/365.  I regularly thank my wife for allowing me to literally live my fantasy.  It is like winning the lottery every single day.  For decades, the idea of an FLR was nothing but a masturbatory fantasy.  Now it is everyday life for real.  The masturbation has gone to zero, but the reality is totally off the chart.  I do realize how lucky I am.

The best part is that my wife is also happier than she has ever been in her life.  She tells me that the idea of having a life as she has now was never even a fantasy to her because it never even occurred to her that any man would be interested in discovering her deepest yearnings much less making them a reality.

Go find that woman to give that briefcase to!

@allabouther Even though you were just basically writing down what you already do for her on a document, it is almost like it gave more significance. The intentional thoughts written down made it real along with the ceremony and structure of it all. A win-win really. Just make sure that you keep up with your end of the arrangement. Going by your previous posts, you like to keep track of the number of orgasms she has and accuracy is important when you plug those numbers in to whatever graphs/charts you use to project what you would like her orgasm frequency to be going in to the third quarter of 2024.

I had a fun FLR experience this week that I just have to share.

We are on vacation staying at a remote mountain cabin in upstate New York.  This is our first time away from the whirlwind since we signed our new FLR contract.  I have to say that we have been having a great time.  My wife is allowing me to totally pamper her.  I have made all the meals and done all the chores.  I brought her coffee every morning and kept her champagne glass filled.  I have surprised her three times with wonderful homemade coffee ice cream that they make in the local village.  She is taking the opportunity to relax and if she wants anything, she just asks.  We’ve had lots of great intimate time together.

On Tuesday, we drove about an hour to visit a nearby village of less than 5,000 people and found that they have a Star Trek museum in town.  The man who owns it somehow got a copy of the plans used in the original series and he has created complete and detailed set reproductions.  He has recreated the sets for all the important places aboard the USS Enterprise;  The Bridge, Sick Bay, Engineering, the famous curved hallway, Auxiliary Control, the Transporter Room, Kirk’s Quarters, etc.  This place is amazing.  The owner, James, has an incredible eye for detail and even has a number of original props from the series.  This place is so good that William Shatner comes twice a year to give private tours (he donates the money he makes to his horse charity).  He was just here last weekend.

Back to the story.  My wife knows that I am a huge Star Trek (TOS – the original series) fan.  She likes the TV show, too.  So, she decided we should go take the tour.    We had a blast.  The tour ended on the “Bridge” where the tour guide offered to take pictures of us sitting in the “Kirk Chair.”  When our turn came, my wife started to say that I should sit for a picture.  Then she suddenly stopped herself and said in a regular voice, “Wait a second.  We have an FLR.  The picture should be of me sitting in the Kirk Chair with you standing next to me like my first officer.”  So, that’s what we did.

When we get back home, I am going to have the picture framed and hung in my man cave because of its secret meaning.

Over the past several months my wife has started to, cautiously, share with others the benefits she has found in having an FLR.  Both of our best friends know we have an FLR.  They don’t just think “she wears the pants.”  They know the arrangement is formal, that it has an official name, “FLR,” and exactly what it means down to the intimate details.  My personal assistant, who also works with my wife and is a great friend to both of us, has pieced together everything our best friends know except that we use the catch phrase “FLR.”  It doesn’t seem appropriate to talk about it so explicitly at work.

In addition, my wife has become more outspoken with other woman about being assertive and creating more rewarding and fulfilling relationships for themselves.  In these conversations, she tends to to talk about relationships on a broader level and only alludes to the intimate benefits.

Others, from her brother to mere acquaintances, have commented to me that our marriage seems to be great thing for my wife because they have never known her to be so happy and self-confident.  Of course, I couldn’t be happier about any of these things and I have become quite used to them.

But she surprised even me a little bit this weekend.  On Saturday, she had to spend some time with her brother helping him.  We had made plans for me to give her a pedicure once she got back home.  It took longer for her to help her brother than she anticipated.  As a consequence, we only had time to finish the first half of the pedicure before we had to leave for the reservations I had made at her favorite French restaurant.  

We had time for me to remove the old polish, give her a foot bath and leg message, remove her callouses and cuticles, and trim, file, and buff her nails.  But we did not have time for me to carefully apply a base coat, two coats of color, and a top coat, plus allow them to properly dry, before we had to go.  So, she decided that I would finish the pedicure on Sunday.

On Sunday morning, my wife’s best friend reached out to invite us to come by in the afternoon and relax with her by her pool.  I made her breakfast in bed and while we were eating my wife began organizing the day.  That is when she surprised me.

“After I get my haircut, I want to spend some time with E (her best friend) by the pool,” she said.

“That sounds fun,” I replied.

“But, I think it is time that we show E what an FLR is really all about,” she said.  “I want you to finish my pedicure while she and I are sipping champagne on the pool deck.”

“Of course, Mistress.  I think that is a great idea,” was my response.

@allabouther   Fantastic!

Those who follow my posts know that my wife’s “New Year’s resolution” for 2024 was to lean into her FLR more.  Lots of people’s New Year’s resolutions go by the wayside within the first month.  But my wife has been as good as her word, looking for ways to take advantage of her FLR.

Many things have improved, for the both of us (to be sure), but most of the positive changes could be described as her letting go of the last vestiges of her “guilt” and hesitation.  One way is letting go of those old habits is that she is much more comfortable in clearly, and unhesitatingly, stating what she wants and or doesn’t want.  The second way she has progressed in terms of letting go, now she has come to expect that she doesn’t even have to state what she wants, she just expects me to anticipate it and make it so.

All this leaning-in led us to agree that it would be a good idea for us to make our already formal FLR more formal by writing a contract.  One element of the contract, designed to address accountability, is that we have agreed to set aside one weekend morning, of her choice, for us to check in, discuss any successes or failures during the last week, and “trim the sails” as necessary.

At this morning’s check in, for the first time at one of these meetings, my wife went straight to stating a disappointment and holding me accountable.  Here’s the whole story.

My wife invited her friend “C” over for dinner.  C is a little bit of an unconventional dinner guest, but C and my wife have a friendship because their children are stepsiblings.  That is to say, C is the first ex-wife of my wife’s ex-husband.  Each couple had two children, and all the children share the same father.  Got it?  I know the ex-husband well, and he is a nice enough fellow.  But, let’s put it this way:  He is not the kind of man who would ever consider being involved in an FLR for even one second.  In fact, from what I have learned from my wife, he is not even aware that there is any type of relationship other than where the woman is totally subservient to the man.  (For context, the day he brought my wife (then his) home from the hospital after her hysterectomy, he expected her to make dinner. 

I had to work a bit late at work, so my wife and C were already home when I arrived.  Nothing had been done for dinner (although C brought some twice baked potatoes to contribute to the meal.  They were relaxing on the porch.  C was enjoying a gin and soda and my wife was drinking her usual champagne.  I immediately got to work on dinner.  I started the smoker (for the skirt steak I had prepped the day before.  I prepared the vegetables and got the oven ready for the potatoes.  After setting the table in front of them, I quickly changed, poured myself a glass of wine and joined them for conversation.

Once the steak was ready, I served everyone (and gave them seconds).  As they were finishing, I got up to cut some fruit for dessert.  Twice during the meal, my wife held out her empty champagne and I quickly refilled it (adding a fresh strawberry for a little panache).   When the meal was over, I cleared the table, did the dishes, and shut down the smoker. My wife escorted C to her car while I finished loading the dish washer.  My wife didn’t lift a finger the entire evening. 

After dinner, my wife was tired and we went to the bedroom where she had me “send her off.” Sinding her off means I give her one or two orgasms in the way she prefers (usually with my fingers), without reciprocation, and she drifts off to sleep with her head on my shoulder and in my embrace.

So, this morning, during our check in, I asked her what I could have done to make her FLR more extraordinary over the last week.  She said that the week was wonderful, but she did have one thing she was disappointed in.  I asked her what that was, and she said, “At dinner with C, two times my champagne glass was empty and I had to show you my empty glass before you filled it.”

I apologized and told her that I was embarrassed when it happened that I had not anticipated her need.  My excuse was that I was engaged in conversation with her friend and let my focus drift. I promised to do better in the future.  I asked her if she was “leaning in” to our FLR, and intentionally let me do everything that night.  She said, “No.  Actually, I am so used to you doing everything for me, I didn’t even think about trying to ‘lean in.’  I was just enjoying having an extraordinary evening.  That is why it was so jarring to have to ask you to fill my champagne glass.  Everything was happening on autopilot, and I had to come out of my reverie to get more champagne.”  I apologized again but praised her for expecting that I would serve her without her having to ask for it or feel guilty about it. 

She noticed that our conversation had made me erect.  So, when we finished our check in, she mounted me and rode me to three orgasms.  She then told me that she wanted a “big one,” and rolled off me to my side.  I then used my fingers to build her through several plateaus to a powerful orgasm.  Once she recovered, she told me she plans for this evening.  She told me that our college football team was playing a televised game tonight.  She told me we were going to watch the game without pants on and that for every point our team scored, I would be allowed one lick of her pussy (they scored more than 30 points last week!), and every time the opponent team scored I am to masturbate myself to the edge (with no cumming) at her instruction.  “Deal?” she asked, holding out her knuckles for a fist bump.”

“Of course, Mistress!” I said.  “I cannot wait.”

She then pushed me on to my back and used her hand to repeatedly tease and deny me.  After the last edge, she kissed me quickly on the lips and said, “Time to get going.  I have things I want to do today.”

What a wonderful journey!

Yesterday, I shared that my wife had decided that we were going to watch our favorite college football team play a conference rival on TV last night.  The game on the field was the same as usual, but for us the rules were going to be a bit different.  She told me that we were going to watch the game without wearing anything from the waist down.  That was kind of fun, but not really different.  We have at least one “No Pants” evening per week (obviously our kids are grown and gone).  The new twist was that for every point that our team scored, I would get to give her pussy one lick.  I, on the other hand, would be edging myself (no orgasm allowed) once for each time the other team but points on the board.

It was a submissive’s dream.  The point of this story isn’t really the graphic details of how the game played out (although to a certain extent they cannot be avoided).  The best part of the story is how she embraced her dominance and made the game something neither of us will forget.  And with a final score of 31-30 (our team came from behind to win in the final three minutes) the game was very exciting, indeed.

The other team scored three touchdowns, three extra points, and one field goal.  That meant I had to masturbate myself to the edge at her instructions nine times.  Our team, on the other hand, scored four touchdowns, four extra points, and one field goal.  That mean a total of thirty-one licks.

The other team scored first.  She had me sit across from her and stroke myself.  I was so turned on by her plan that became hard the instant they scored.  So I was ready to go as soon as she instructed me to start.  After a minute, she decided she wanted to be more proactive, so she came over to the sofa where I was sitting and took me into her mouth and brought me to the edge helself.  The second time they scored, she had me recline and spread my legs so she could watch me take myself to the edge.  For their third score, she had me stand in front her where she was sitting and put on a show of edging myself for her.  The next two scores, she had me sit next to her.  She turned toward me, pulled up her legs and spread her pussy lips for me.  She told me to stare at her pussy and stroke for her.  I swear she got visibly wetter the longer I stroked myself.

When our team scored, I kneeled between her legs and made the longest tongue strokes I could manage before she instructed me to stop.  She was obviously enjoying the attention because she frequently allowed me to extend my licks for increasing periods of time.  The best was when she scooted down to the very edge of the love seat on which she was sitting.  She spread her legs wide, laced her fingers in my hair and crushed my face into her pussy.

In the second half, she announced that we were going to save up the scoring for the end of the game where they would be “paid off” all at once.  I went first (always the gentleman), and I wasn’t surprised that she wanted the final pay off to end with more than a few licks. She held me tight until she had a massive orgasm.  I brought her a fresh glass of champagne to sip while she recovered.  Once her breath returned to normal, she told me to stand in front of her again.  She pulled up the wife beater t-shirt she was wearing and laid back in a reclined position and spread her legs.  She instructed me to jerk off for her and shoot my load between her breasts.

Of course, it didn’t take long for me to be back to the edge.  As always, I dutifully asked for permission to cum.  She considered for a moment, then smiled and said, “Yes.  You have permission.”  I felt faint as I shot more than a week’s worth of cum in several long ropes from her pussy to her chin. 

Once I recovered, I asked if she would like me to clean her up.  She said, “No,” and pulled her shirt back over her breasts.  “I want to wear it on my skin.”

She promised we’ll be doing this for the next game.  I have never been a bigger football fan.

For my wife and me, there have been a number of surprises resulting from our FLR, but three in particular stand out:

1.  I am really surprised by the fact that when we are intimate, I actually hope in my heart that she will deny me a release so that I can show my commitment to our agreement that sex is for her pleasure.

2.  I have been very surprised by how our lives operate on a very stable, peaceful wavelength.  There are simply no conflicts, and therefore no anxiety about potential or impending conflicts.  Because she has wholly embraced our FLR, we don’t even waste time and energy assuaging the guilt she once felt about treating her new life as an entitlement.  I thought the new life would be fulfilling and fun if she accepted it.  I really didn’t expect it would introduce a level of pervasive and universal peace that would become the “new norm.”

3.  When we started down this journey, I thought that if it went well, it would likely to look kind of transactional,  I thought my wife might be inclined to consider it in order to indulge me and that she might accept it as a way of relating because it would have clear benefits to her, too.  That might have been enough had it turned out that way, but the reality is that our FLR is not something we “do,” it is now “who we are.”  She isn’t indulging “me,” nor is she accepting a lifestyle because it has certain benefits to “her.”   We are both “all-in” because we realize that this is fundamentally fulfilling for both of us and because it is absolutely the best way to create the best “us.”  There is no element of “deal” or “transaction” in our FLR anymore.  We just recognize that it is the best way we have ever seen to help each of us individually become the best versions of ourselves and have the most intimate and mutually supportive relationship we can.  

Out of the blue, last night on the way home from dinner, my wife turned to me and said, “Thank you.”

“For what,” I asked.

She told me, “I never imagined I could be so happy.”

My wife and I started pursuing our FLR a little over three years ago. Rather than settling into a routine, as I thought might happen, the journey continues to grow. In fact, the growth continues to accelerate. I attribute this acceleration to three things:

First, after an initial phase of nervousness about her letting go of “societal norms” and conditioning that she was force-fed by her mother and first husband, she has fully embraced that this relationship is ours and those old “norms” were doing nothing other than holding her back from happiness and becoming the best version of herself that can be. Any sense of guilt, obligation, or requirement of reciprocity is long gone. Her focus is on creating the most intimate relationship possible between us.

Second, her New Year’s resolution for 2024 was to “lean into” the power and control that our lifestyle affords her. Since then, she has approached our FLR with more intentionality.

Third, and I think most important, in early summer 2024, we agreed that it would be a good idea to reduce the terms of our FLR to writing in the form of a contract. We took our time and after several weeks of discussion, we signed our contract on July 4 (Independence Day here in the US). My wife might explain it differently, but my observation is that working together on every single word and putting our signatures to the contract somehow made it “real” in a way that it hadn’t been before.

While neither of us feels it is fair to expose the details (especially the kinky parts) of our relationship to innocent and non-consenting third parties, neither of us feels any constraint from traditional values to hide the fact that she is the one in control in our relationship. You could describe the way we live as “hiding in plain sight.”

We just got new license plates for our cars. My plate says “UXR IUS,” and hers says “FLR WMN.” We figure that virtually no one who is not in the lifestyle will even recognize the word “Uxorious.” As for hers, FLR GRL was already taken, and if somebody who is not in the know sees her plate they are likely to think that she loves gardening and flowers. Tomorrow, our matching bracelets are being delivered. They both have secret engraving on the inside. Mine says, “Devoted Sub to Mistress [her name]” and “Yes Mistress.” Hers says “My Life is Extraordinary” and “Beg for It!” The outside both say the same thing, our names together with the phrase “FLR.”

Yesterday is a great example of how our FLR translates into real life. I woke up at about 7:30 when my wife got up to use the bathroom. I immediately got up to bring her coffee Bailey's Irish Cream in bed. We snuggled and talked for about two hours. She announced that she wanted to go buy some clothes for the grandbaby while I knocked out a few chores, we were going to spend the rest of the day together. As if to punctuate the finality of her decision, she spent about 15 minutes teasing (and denying me).

She went off to do her errands and I got to my chores. Apparently, she got home just as I was getting out of the shower. I came out of the bathroom to find her lying on the bed naked from the waist down. She told me I had permission to kiss her pussy and give her one long lick. Of course, I was still naked from the shower and was fully erect before told me “That’s enough! Let's get going.”

We spent the afternoon enjoying beer, hard seltzer, and the view from a mountaintop brewery near our home. There were probably more than 200 people at the brewery, but we both agreed that we felt like we were the only people there.

As the sun started to go down behind the mountain, we headed to our club for dinner. We had a few cocktails and she kicked my ass at two games of pool. There was lots of kissing during the games. We finally took our table and ordered dinner (Halibut, yum!). After we put in our orders, she led me by the hand to the private ladies’ room where she locked the door, pulled down her pants, and had me lick her to an explosive orgasm.

We returned to the table just as they were bringing our appetizers. Her face carried a big smile and mine carried the wonderful smell of pussy.

After dinner, we headed home. I asked her if I could have the privilege of “sending her off” to sleep. She said she’d consider it. When we got home, she told me to turn down the bed and light some candles while she got undressed. We enjoyed answering some questions from our “intimacy” box for about an hour and a half, something we hadn’t done for a while. Finally, she told me to get her Hitachi Wand and take off my t-shirt. Eventually, she told me to switch to my fingers. “Yes Mistress!” was my immediate reply. She had three loud orgasms before she closed her legs around my hand and put her head on my shoulder. I thought she was ready to drift off to sleep in my arms. I was very horny, of course, but contented.

I was wrong. After about 5 minutes of rest, she said, “I want you inside me.” Of course, I was still hard as a rock. She told me to get on top of her and make her come more. On her second orgasm, she instructed me to cum with her. This was a real treat. I am usually not permitted the privilege of cumming inside her more than once every three or more months. This was the second time in less than a month. We held me inside her for about 10 minutes while we embraced and kissed gently.

Then she told me she wanted one more with my fingers. After that last orgasm, she was gone. She was asleep in my arms before she finished coming down. What an awesome FLR day!

@allabouther Nice to hear from you my friend.  Thank you for the update to your beautiful, enviable relationship.  All of that beauty without the need for her to constantly diminish you in any way.  Without the need to tell you how useless and pitiful you are as a man, and without the need or desire to fuck other men for fun.  Congratulations!

@subhubphx Thanks for the kind words.  I think that you and I, on the one hand, and our host, Emma, on the other, have differing views on the value/utility of humiliation, degradation, and cuckolding.  But, I know we all agree that every relationship is unique and subject to the consent of the parties.  "You do you, we'll do us," right?  But, in our little duo, humiliation, degradation, and cuckolding are very hard nos.