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My journey has been accelerating

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allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

My GF and I had a great talk after she returned from her trip.  We drive to my house from the airport, got settled down, and got into bed to cuddle.  She told me about the fun that she had with her daughters and asked me about the things that I did while she was away.

I told her that I had been doing some reading and had an answer to her question as to why I felt so driven to let her have complete control over our sex lives.  I shared the same thought I shared here in my last post and told her that I had done some reading online and found that it turns out that I am not as strange as she might think.  I corrected myself, “O.K., I might be a bit strange, but it turns out that I am not that unusual.”   I told her about a piece I read in Psychology Today that explained that it is not unusual for strong men who are in positions of control during the day to seek a strong and confident woman who they trust to liberate them from the obligation to always be in control by taking charge in the bedroom.  It is so powerful, intimate, bonding, and meaningful to the man BECAUSE the power exchange relates to such an important area of life.

I reiterated it is not about me being kinky and wanting her to dominate me with a whip.  It was about us finding a way that we were both comfortable with to balance power in the bedroom.  She went back to the chocolate chip cookies with walnuts and wanted me to explain it again in my own words.  I told her, “I don’t think it is right for you to think about it as being selfish.  Selfish would be if you got all the cookies.  In my example, you get all the cookies you like and I get all the cookies I like.  It just so happens that I get something just as deeply satisfying to me when I let you have what you really want.”

Of course, this conversation occurred while we were cuddling and snuggling.   She eventually told me that she felt totally a peace and was once again in her place of bliss.  She told me how much she loved me and the fact that I could make her feel so content.  She told me she didn’t want to disturb the feeling that she was having, but it was obvious that she could feel my erection against her thigh.  She said, “I’d like you to give yourself a release if you want one.”  I told her I did.  “You have been on my mind constantly since you have been away.  That seems like a pretty good deal.  You don’t have to do any work, and we will both enjoy me cumming.”  She didn’t supervise, she just encouraged me and when I asked for permission to cum she gave it right away.

Yesterday we spent the day together having a wonderful time.  I made her dinner and we had a peaceful evening in each other’s arms without any sex occurring.  This morning we both awoke with the sun and she promptly told me that she wanted me to make her cum and she wanted me to make myself cum on her.  “I want to get to the office,” she said.  “You have to make it ‘down and dirty.’”  I asked her how she wanted me to make her cum.  If it had been up to me, I would have gotten inside of her, made her cum once on her own, and then cum with her on her second orgasm.  Since she was being assertive, I thought it more likely she would instruct me to eat her out.  But no.  She chose neither.  She said, “rub me.”

I brought her to two nice orgasms with my hand and as she was coming down, she said, “you have permission now."  I shifted position so that I could cum on her belly, as she had told me to when the time came.  She held me close and her naked breasts felt like heaven against my chest.  I misjudged.  I figured she was anxious to get her day started and I waited too long before I told her I was close and asked for her permission to cum.  I was sure she would give me permission right away. By the way, I love to hear her say, “you have permission.”   It is really erotic. 

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But, this morning, she didn’t give me permission.  She said, “no.”  Holy shit!  I was already starting to boil over.  I groaned but followed her instructions and let go.  My penis began to dribble cum without me having an orgasm.   I moaned, “oh God, I waited too long to tell you.  I’ve ruined it.”  “You did?” she said.  "Well, go ahead and finish it.”   I started again immediately and was able to save some of the orgasm.  But, there wasn’t much of an ejaculation since I had already dribbled out most of my cum.  Of course, in the end, it was satisfying.  I did get to have a full orgasm, but what was more satisfying was proving that I would stop masturbating on her instruction to “stop” immediately when she asked me to, even though my orgasm had already begun.  I felt so powerful!  Isn't that strange?

I am quite sure that my GF has no idea that a ruined orgasm is “a thing” for a man into power exchange.  I guess I know what we will discuss the next time we are in our safe space on Thursday night.   Maybe I will recommend that we do it again with enough light on in the room so that she can see what happens.  Since she finds it a turn-on to watch me masturbate, I am really interested to see what she thinks of making me ejaculate without an orgasm.  Who knows, she may not even care to see it happen again.  I will report back.

 
Posted : 22/02/2022 10:58 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1093
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Posted by: @allabouther

... I am really interested to see what she thinks of making me ejaculate without an orgasm.

Perhaps you (and she) might both benefit from the knowledge that when a man has a ruined orgasm, there is very little, if any, drop in libido immediately after. It's quite an amazing thing actually.  For the longest time, a ruined orgasm was all that I was allowed, and I credit it for a number of very positive things in our relationship.  In fact, over time, I have come to prefer, even beg for a ruined orgasm in lieu of a full-on orgasm because of that very reason.  I have come to prefer the still-constant state of arousal I feel for following ejaculation (when ejaculation is even allowed), over the few fleeting seconds of an orgasm (and orgasms are amazing!) and the subsequent drop of of those chemicals that men lose for a day or two.  

I wrote about it on my blog recently.  I say I wrote about it when in fact most of what I did was reprint a blog post from a very nice woman named Mz Kaylee from her blog.  If you have interest, I invite you check it out here.  Perhaps it may give a different perspective to what I consider to be a VERY useful tool in a WLM/FLR.


Sexy Love Myself GIF
 
Posted : 22/02/2022 11:22 am
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

I promised to report back about my next date with my girlfriend after last week’s brush with a ruined orgasm.  We were not able to spend the night together again until Thursday.  She woke up that day with a migraine headache that literally made her sick to her stomach.  The headache got better as the day went on, but by the evening she was in no mood for anything other than just being taken care of.  I made her something light to eat and a big mug of herbal tea to drink.  I got her into the warm bed, turned the lights down low, and held her close until she fell asleep.  Fortunately, she felt better by Friday morning when we woke up with the sun.  After some snuggling and kissing, she said “lick my pussy.”  Of course, I was happy to oblige.  I ate her through two orgasms and she told me, “get inside of me.”  Once I had entered her, instructed me to cum inside of her.  It didn’t take me long.  I told her when I was ready and asked for permission to come.  She said, “yes, come now,” as she went over the edge and we had a simultaneous orgasm.  She had barely started coming down when she said “now, you have to go make me coffee.  I want to get to the office to make up for yesterday.”

Because she is such a hard charger, she crushed it at work on Friday and more than made up for being off her game on Thursday.  But at one point, in the early afternoon, she came into my office, stepped behind my desk, and leaned over to whisper in my ear.  She said, “do you know what I have been thinking of all day?”  I said, “no. What?”  She said, “I have been thinking about how you ate my pussy this morning.”  She smiled, planted a firm kiss on my lips, and marched out of my office.

As I said, she had a very busy day at the office, so she was pretty worn out by Friday night.  She decided she would like me to make her a dinner to enjoy while we watched a movie.  I grilled us a couple of prime steaks and we shared a nice bottle of red wine while we watched the House of Gucci.  She dozed, which is pretty normal for her, and I learned more than I really ever cared to know about the Gucci family.  Afterward, we went upstairs and climbed into bed together.  We talked a bit and cuddled more.  She never asked for more than kisses and I did not offer anything more either.  She seemed quite content.  I rubbed her back and snuggled with her for about 45 minutes when she told me she was in her place of bliss.  I have to admit that I felt a real feeling of satisfaction that I can create an environment for her that makes her feel so totally relaxed and safe.  She never offered me permission to give myself a release and I did not ask.  We eventually fell asleep in each other’s arms.

On Saturday morning, I woke up about 7 o’clock to find she had already gotten up to make coffee and start reading the paper.  When she heard me moving around, she brought me a cup and climbed back into bed.  We resumed snuggling and started talking about our plans for the day.  The conversation steadily became more intimate as we each shared feelings and said nice things like lovers do.  Because the conversation was getting more intimate, and we had not really had the opportunity for any intimate conversations since the previous weekend, I asked her if she had been doing any thinking about our recent conversations, about my desire for her to have all the cookies with walnuts, or about my feelings of being liberated by her willingness to take over total control of our sex lives and dictate whatever she wants to happen.

My GF got a smile on her face that you would call “knowing” or “naughty,” and she told me that she had.  Then, she did not hesitate at all to tell me, “it does take some getting used to.  I’m not saying I don’t like it.  In fact, I like it a lot.  But, I think I am starting to really understand how you feel.”  I told her that for me, it wasn’t just a matter of her being willing to do this because I was asking for it.  I told her that a big part of what made it feel so special for me what that I really felt like it was natural for her and that, deep down, it was the way she liked things to be.  Her smile widened until she looked like the cat who ate the canary.

She looked me in the eye and told me it was time for me to make her cum.  I asked her how she wanted me to do it.  “Do you want me to lick you, use my hand, or get inside of you?”  “I want you to use your hand first,” she said.  I put my hand between her legs, and I swear to God, I have never felt a woman wetter than she was that morning.  I told her as much and she laughed.  She said, “I know!” and she threw her head back.  I made her cum once and after a few moments of catching her breath, she said “again!”  I brought her to a bigger climax, and she said “get inside of me.”  That is an order I love to follow!

I was hard as a post and because she was so wet, I slid inside instantaneously.  I told her, “if you were looking for proof that I mean what I have been saying, here you are.  Neither of us has so much as even touched my penis, yet I am hard as a rock for you.”  She rotated her hips and drew me deeper inside of her and she let out a long moan.  It was obvious that she was already starting to build toward an orgasm already.  She built to a loud crescendo and after only a few moments of recovery, she started urging me to resume thrusting by using her hands on my ass to pull me back into her.  I seriously wonder if neighbors didn’t hear her screaming my name when she came the next time.  There is nothing else like that for an ego boost, is there guys?

She was literally gasping for air so heavily, I felt like I had to pull out of her to allow her to be able to catch her breath.  Once she had recovered, I used my hand to bring her up through several plateaus another very vocal orgasm.  She was almost immediately ready for me to make her cum again.  After that orgasm, it looked like she was starting to settle into her place of “bliss,” so I asked if she wanted to cum again so I could be sure.  She shook her head from left to right and said between breaths, “no, but I want you to make yourself come on me.  Give me my first shower of the day.”

I was lying next to her holding her in an embrace, so I asked if she wanted me to come on her belly.  She started to nod her head “yes,” then she suddenly said, “no.  I want you to stand over me so I can watch you jerk off.”   Half-jokingly, I said “your wish is my command,” and I got up to stand beside the bed.  She moved to the side of the bed with her feet at the very edge and I stood between her legs.  I started to jerk myself off, as she had instructed when she pointed her fingers between her beautiful breasts.  “Shoot it right here.”  I continued to stroke my penis as I drank in the vision of her sexy body.  It is true that she does not look like an 18-year-old model anymore, but she has the body of a fit, mature woman that is so sexy to me.  The sight of her soft breasts, trim waist, and her smooth belly steadily stoked my furnace.  But, the vision of her glistening pussy, with its engorged lips still parted for me, was more than I could stand.  I know that she had told me to cum, but I could not resist reaching down and using my cock to massage her clit. 

She inhaled a deep breath and before long she was having another orgasm.  I rubbed her thighs as she came down from her high then I resumed stroking myself for her.  As I was telling her how hot I get from looking at her sexy body, I started to feel that familiar tingle in my toes.  I told her, “I am getting close.  Can I have permission to cum?”  “Yes, you have permission,” she said, and I exploded all over her.  My first two bursts shot over her head and into her hair, but the third and fourth landed directly between her breasts.  Each shot got weaker until the last of my load came right down into her pubic hair and across the lips of her beautiful pussy.  If she had denied me permission to cum, I would have stopped, and I am sure I was so far gone that it would have resulted in another ruined orgasm.  I am so glad she gave me permission to cum because the orgasm was one of the best I have ever had.  While I held on to her knees to steady myself from my intense release, she was using her fingers to gather my semen from between her breasts to rub onto her cheeks.   She tells me it is good for her skin.   I don’t know about that, but it is pretty damn hot.

So, we had some very intimate time together and talked more openly and comfortably about sex being exclusively for her pleasure.  But, she never even brought my (almost) ruined orgasm of last week.  And, if I am being perfectly honest, I cannot say I am disappointed.  It would be one hell of a kinky fantasy to see her desire for control extend that far.  But for now, I am content with the pace of our journey.

 
Posted : 01/03/2022 12:14 am
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

My relationship with my girlfriend continues to get better.  We seem to have really found that we are on the same wavelength about her having all the control in our sex life and that this has allowed us to significantly increase the level of intimacy between us.  Our conversations have gotten deeper and deeper.  With each one, we find that both of us feel that we have made ourselves more vulnerable to each other than either of us has ever done with any other person in our lives.  Yet, at the same time, we both feel totally safe in doing so.

Last night, my GF asked me if I have ever been as open to another woman about my desire to totally submit to her sexual control as I have with her.  I told her that while I feel I have always been a generous lover who has made sure his partner’s pleasure has always come first, I have never felt safe enough to reveal the real extent of my submissive feelings. 

I was married for over 25 years to a woman who I initially viewed as self-confident and strong.  Over time, I learned that she was really deeply insecure and, rather than possessing true inner strength, she was merely using controlling behaviors as a mechanism to keep people at a safe distance.   I thought I had found a person who was so strong that she had the potential to be extraordinarily intimate and vulnerable with me in a loving relationship.  What I really found was a profoundly selfish person who had no interest in real intimacy at any level.  I spent decades trying to earn her trust and hundreds of hours in couples therapy, but she never really moved an inch.  During the first ten years of our marriage, I sincerely had hope that I could help her open up.  But, when the day came that she learned, quite suddenly and unexpectedly, that her father had been unfaithful to her mother, she closed up like a vault.  As a consequence, I never felt that I could safely expose my submissive desires.  I knew, instinctively, that she would only use them to manipulate or ridicule me, and that she would not embrace them lovingly to build a more intimate relationship.

My GF knows this history and she told me last night that she was so sorry that I never felt safe enough to reveal my true self or had the opportunity to live fully as the man I truly am.  We talked about how it is not an easy thing to do and how it has taken us five years to get to the point where we both really feel safe in not holding back anything about our deepest sexual desires from one another.  I told her that I felt the same sadness for her that she was expressing for me.  I have written on this site before that I know that she can count on one hand the number of orgasms her husband gave her during their marriage (which was also over 25 years).   I told her that I know she felt obligated to lead a sex life on his terms because that is how she was raised by her Catholic mother, and, frankly, because she had never heard of anyone in the real world living under any other paradigm.  She wasn’t getting true intimacy any more than I was, and she certainly wasn’t able to embrace, in any way, her natural desire to be the one in control.

We both agreed that it has been exciting to be on this journey of allowing ourselves to be more and more vulnerable with each other.  We also both agree that the journey has been accelerating and that the very fact of our willingness to be vulnerable with each other has led both of us to feel freer than we have ever felt in our lives. 

During our conversation last night, she made it clearer than ever that she really does get off on being in control of deciding if, when, and how I have sex.  But, she is still wrestling a little with the worry that she is not being a good lover to me if she doesn’t satisfy my sexual desires.  She put it this way.  “Every person has his or her own desires and you cannot always be on the same cycle.”  I agreed.  But I told her that, for me, she shouldn’t confuse orgasms with intimacy.  I said, “I could have an orgasm any time I want to.  I can just take matters into my own hands and make it happen.  But, no orgasm compares to the powerful and intimate feelings I have when I allow you to have total control.”  I told her that the previous night was a perfect example.

On Wednesday night, I wanted to cum in the worst way.  Anticipation had been building since we last made love on Saturday and the increased closeness we have been experiencing has been keeping her on my mind almost constantly.  I could not wait for us to get home so that we could make love.  My girlfriend, on the other hand, had a tough day at the office.  She also really wanted to watch the State of the Union address because of everything that has been happening in Ukraine. 

When the speech was over, I could see that she was drained.  Between exhaustion from work and weariness from the unrelenting bad news about the Russian invasion, it was obvious that she just wanted to crawl into my arms, shut out the rest of the world, and go to her peaceful place.   I could tell that she was not in the mood to have me give her any orgasms.  I do have to admit that, at first, I was hoping that she had picked up on my sexual energy and would at least give me permission to jerk off for her.  I quickly realized, however, that she not only wanted no sexual pleasure for herself but that she would not get any pleasure from granting me a release.  So, we talked and cuddled and cuddled and talked.  And after about an hour, she fell asleep in my arms.  It was wonderful.

I brought up the example of Wednesday night because, as I told her, “It was one of the best nights of sex I have ever had.”  She furrowed her brow and said, “What are you talking about?”  I explained, “It is like we have both said many times.  When we get in our “safe space,” holding each other in a physical embrace, and really opening up to each other, it is absolutely sexual activity, only without the direct sexual touching.  It is the height of intimacy.”  She said, “yeah.  Go on.”  I said, “can you imagine how powerful I felt knowing that I could subordinate my sexual tensions for you and create exactly the kind of safe space you needed on exactly your terms?”  “Sure, there is a rush when you allow me to have an orgasm, but there is an equal rush knowing that you are getting the most pleasure from not allowing me to have an orgasm.  I realize that having to deal with my sexual desires, or even just pay attention while I jerk off for you, can distract you from the pleasure you are feeling in the moment and diminish it by just that much.”

“So, if it gives you pleasure to have me inside you and cum together, I am down for that.  If you don’t want any orgasms for yourself, but it would give you pleasure to give me permission to jerk off for you, that is wonderful too.  But, if having the most pleasure means not having to deal with or supervise an orgasm for me, that can be great sex too, when it happens because of a mutual desire to focus on pure, non-sexual, intimacy.”  She told me, “I get it.”  And, I think she does.

 
Posted : 03/03/2022 10:04 pm
restrainedlove
(@restrainedlove)
Posts: 195
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These forums are great for the open heart-felt essays like this. Well done @allabouther

 
Posted : 03/03/2022 11:01 pm
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1093
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@allabouther Seems like your relationship is on a very healthy and marvelous path.  Your GF, like my Wife Ms. K., will probably always struggle a little bit with burdening herself by thinking an orgasm for you, or even just allowing you to decide how, when, if you have sex, is an inherent obligation for her.  As time goes on, that will subside.  I've told you before that our own journey has led to open discussions about her NEVER having to think twice about being selfish when it comes to whatever may, or may not happen during sex, or even if it happens at all.  I won't bore you and everyone else with the details about how long it has been since I've had a full-on orgasm (it's been more than a few months), but even after a long time without an orgasm for me the sex we have had over these past several months has been the best, most satisfying sex of our time together.  She finds more and more comfort with the knowledge that she and she alone is able to decide when and how she will obtain her sexual pleasures, in whatever form they happen to be.  I will admit and say that the (mostly) permanent use of my cage, along with her now (mostly) exclusive requirement that I wear a strap on with her favorite "boyfriend" installed, her sex has been incredibly satisfying, usually to the point of her exhaustion.  She openly recognizes and acknowledges that her so-called selfishness in that regard has been a godsend, especially when she began to recognize tangible proof that it hasn't taken anything away from my sexual joy, but rather has intensified it.  Most people can't understand how that could even be possible, but I think that you and others here understand implicitly how that can be.

Posted by: @allabouther

She told me, “I get it.”  And, I think she does.

Seems like she does!  Congratulations to you both.


aubrey plaza legs GIF
 
Posted : 04/03/2022 8:30 am
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

@subhubphx There is no mistaking why this section of the forum is called "The Journey” is there?  Progress is made gradually.  You are eloquent about how your wife has gradually come to accept what you have to offer her.

Posted by: @subhubphx

She finds more and more comfort with the knowledge that she and she alone is able to decide when and how she will obtain her sexual pleasures, in whatever form they happen to be. 

It certainly has been a gradual thing for me to feel safe enough to "put it all out there" and risk rejection.  My girlfriend regularly shows signs of this gradual progress herself.  As recently as the last conversation I reported on, my girlfriend revealed something that made me realize that she is feeling so comfortable that she has taken another step forward.

It came during the part of our "morning after" conversation that I was sharing in my last post about the evening I described as one of my best sexual experiences ever.  That was the night that we did nothing more than kiss, talk, and cuddle, and she denied me an orgasm (even though I was hornier than all get out).  She said to me that a part of the peaceful experience of that evening to her was that I did not do anything that made her feel that she had an obligation to attend to my sexual urges.

I told her that I was really pleased to hear her say that as my actions were purposefully intended to avoid making her feel that way.  I explained that I really understand that even if I just offer to give her an orgasm, it could come across to her as if I was hinting that some different kind of sexual activity should be happening and maybe even implying that there might be some kind of obligation on her part to accept an orgasm from me or consider granting one to me. 

Let me pause the story there, for a moment, to explain my thinking behind what I told her.  And it goes much deeper than me simply knowing she doesn’t want to feel that kind of obligation and me never wanting her to feel she is under any such obligation.  Of course, if she wants an orgasm, all she has to do is tell me and it will be hers in exactly the way she wants to have it.  If it would bring her pleasure to allow me an orgasm, she knows that.  We both know these things. And for me to suggest another activity pretty clearly implies that I don’t think she knows what she wants, at the least, or at worst, that I simply trying to manipulate her by topping from the bottom.

More to the point, I have been encouraging us to progress to a point that I feel is beyond her simply feeling free to do some kind of calculation and have the power to come down on the side of having it her way.  I’d rather that she never have to do the calculation in the first place!  I want her to just “know” that the first, last, and only aspect is her pleasure.

I realize that there is nothing wrong with a considerate man “asking” his lover if he can give her pleasure.  But, we have been pushing to get to level significantly deeper and more intimate than just being considerate.  At the level of intimacy we have been pursuing, there is no asking.  She gets exactly what she wants when she wants it.  She tells me and it is done.  Period.  She gets the sexual charge of being in total control and I get the liberation of ceding 100% of any control that I may be entitled to over to her. 

I think we have already progressed to the point that we both accept that it is not about me getting sexual pleasure.  We have agreed that is totally about whether she will derive pleasure from having me give her an orgasm or her granting me permission to have one myself.  What I have been talking about here is, can I get this to be virtually automatic on her part.

Sorry for being long-winded, but here is the point of this story.  Here is where she showed she had taken another step forward.  My girlfriend’s immediate response to me telling her about my being purposeful in my actions was to tell me, “the best part of our love making last night was that I felt so safe and peaceful in your arms that it didn’t even cross my mind that I should allow you to give me an orgasm or that I should allow you have one.  It was just yiuo holding me in your arms while I enjoyed my feeling of bliss.”

Holy cow, it is like she knew exactly what I was thinking.  I felt my heart almost ready to burst.  I told her, “I can’t tell you how wondeerful and powerful it makes me feel to know that I can make you feel that level of pleasure.”  We both felt a new level of connection and she told me she wanted me to provide her with a more traditional form of connection by making us both cum together with me inside her.

We had another date last evening and she spent the night with me.  She showed no sign of retreat.  Several times during the day yesterday, she teased me by telling me she was looking forward to me giving her what she wanted after our date.  We went to a restaurant with great food and music.  She teased me again several times during the meal and, of course, I melted into a puddle.  When we got home, we lit the candle and got into bed together.  There was kissing, cuddling, and talking, but it was clear that that was all she wanted last night.  No orgasm for either of us and she fell alseep in my arms.

This morning, on the other hand, she rolled over to spoon me at 6:00 a.m.  This is her way of telling me that it is time for me to wake up and please her.  Of course, I shifted my focus to her and she told me, matter of factly, that she needed a lot of energy to do all things she needed to do today and that I was to start her day with a really big “O.”  I have learned that her biggest orgasm is her third orgasm and it comes after she has had two “warm up” orgasms.  I gave her the first orgasm with my hand while kissing her and holding her naked body against mine.  Then, I got between her legs and brought her to her second orgasm with my tongue.  I then returned to her side and slowly started to build toward the big one she wanted.  I brought her to the edge six times before taking her over the edge.  Neither of us were disappointed.  She had a really big one.  She was wiped out and struggling to catch her breath after she finished.  I think I enjoyed it as much as she did.

I held her while she came down from her orgasm and once she had her breathing under control she told me, “I want you to jerk off for me.”  I asked, “Where would you like me to come?”  “On my stomach,” she said.  “But, you have to tell me when you are close and ask for permission before you cum.”  She pushed me away from her a little bit so that she could reach my balls and she fondled them while I began to stroke myself for her.  I brought myself to the edge 5 times, and each time she told me to stop.  Then, after I had cooled down a bit, she told me, “Start again.”  The tension in my body was building and building with each round.  After the 5 edges and another trip to the edge, I said, “I am very close to coming,” and I looked into her eyes hoping to get her permission.  She let me go a while longer and said, “But, you haven’t asked for permission to cum.  You have to ASK for permission to cum.”  “Pleeeaase, may I have permission to cum for you?” I implored.  “Yes, you may,” she said.  “Cum on my stomach,” and she squeezed by balls while I shot my load.

I am having so much fun.  Lord, please let this continue!

 
Posted : 05/03/2022 7:25 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1093
Member
 
Posted by: @allabouther

I’d rather that she never have to do the calculation in the first place!  I want her to just “know” that the first, last, and only aspect is her pleasure.

THIS is such an important distinction!!!  Nicely said.  It is, by definition, putting ALL of the focus on her pleasure!

Posted by: @allabouther

At the level of intimacy we have been pursuing, there is no asking.  She gets exactly what she wants when she wants it.  She tells me and it is done.  Period.

Again, another pearl!!!  Coincidently, this came in to play last night after we returned from dinner with friends.  She had a couple of giant "house pours" of her favorite Cabernet.  The meal, the company, the setting was wonderful.  We had a great time.  Wine often makes her horny and last night was no exception.  I, on the other hand, overindulged a bit on the gourmet food and dessert and was feeling stuffed, bloated and yucky ... and she knew it.  But, she wasn't going to be denied what she wanted, what she needed right then.  I knew better than to try and convince I was up to it and soldiered through it.  We got home, I took the dog out for a pee and when I came back into the house, she was naked, pulled me into a hug and whispered, "get your cock on", which is her indication to me that on this night, her new boyfriend, securely in place in the strap on harness, over my chastity cage, will be doing the heavy lifting.  I was still not feeling it and would've much rather had been allowed to lay my head on the pillow and sleep.

We had incredible, amazing sex.  She got worked over pretty well.  Her orgasm was as deep, as long and as loud as any I can recently remember.  After a minute or so of post orgasm recovery time, she simply said I need to sleep now and rolled over and went to sleep.  No regard, no regrets and no concern for whether or not any of my sexual wants were even considered.  It was absolutely amazing and wonderful.  I'm swelling inside my cage now just writing about it.  

Posted by: @allabouther

“I want you to jerk off for me.”

This is such a beautiful and amazing gift to be given.  I don't know about you but being allowed/required to masturbate merely for her viewing pleasure is an honor and an exceptional treat for me.  

Posted by: @allabouther

“But, you have to tell me when you are close and ask for permission before you cum.”

In our marriage, this has become an unspoken given.  Some time ago I was told any time that I am near the edge of orgasm, ever, in any situation, I am required to tell her, and if I want to cum, I must always, without exception ever, ask permission to ejaculate.  I say ejaculate and not cum because quite often and more commonly, my ejaculation is via a ruined orgasm and not a full-on orgasm.  It can be tricky because being on the edge, and even if I am told to stop, sometimes accidental ejaculation happens and if it does, it will result in a punishment for ejaculating without permission.  This has been standard for us for 10 years.  Should I happen to forget to ask permission to actually orgasm, and I do orgasm, a much more significant and unpleasant punishment will happen.  This is because during our collaring vows that we exchanged on our 15th wedding anniversary, it became known that I did not own my orgasms and should i have one without permission, it would be akin to me stealing from her.  Even if it is an "innocent" mistake, or even an honest misunderstanding over whether or not I had permission, there is punishment.  

Posted by: @allabouther

I am having so much fun.  Lord, please let this continue!

Yes !

 
Posted : 05/03/2022 8:19 am
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

I have a question for those of you who have advanced farther in your journey than my girlfriend and I have.  As I think I have expressed pretty clearly here on this forum, I really get off on my GF having total control over my sex life.  A big part of why I get off on it is because I know she really gets off on it, too.  She isn’t just playing a role for my benefit.  That is not to say that I do not think she would do something just for my pleasure.  She is very loving and generous, after all.  The sexual charge is enhanced for me because I can tell she is really enjoying the power exchange, not just enjoying making me happy.

For my entire adult life, I know I have had submissive sexual tendencies.  But, it is really only in the last couple of months, since it has become an open fact that I am with a woman who really shares my desire for her to be in control and I have felt safe in openly articulating my thoughts about it, that I have been able to really separate intriguing hot, kinky fantasies (which tends to be very connected to ideas of female domination) from what I think really inspires me, which is making sure that sex in my life is solely about my girlfriend’s pleasure.

This distinction is clearer to me now.   It seems to me that much of the femdom I read about is inspired by men who are actually exerting control in their relationships by (effectively) requiring their lovers to dominate them.  In some cases, it seems pretty obvious that the man is really just looking for sexual validation, but he knows that simply demanding more sexual attention isn't going to work, so he manipulates her into taking a dominant role because that way he can rationalize that it is about her and not about him.  It seems less common to be reading about women who are naturally cruel who happen to find men who are want to be treated like doormats.  I am more confident than ever that I am not driven to masochism or motivated by a lack of self-esteem.  I feel I am driven to desire liberation from being in control (be that directly or by topping from the bottom) because I am actually very self-confident.

So, here is the question.  Do any of you who have passed through this stage of the journey have any experience with your lover manifesting her control by instructing you to wantonly take her?  I had to deal with this on the fly the other day and I feel I learned a little something about myself. 

Here is what happened.  My GF and I had a long session of mutual bonding in our “safe space,” kissing, cuddling, and sharing intimate thoughts.  The conversation covered the topics of me giving her sexual pleasure the way she wants it (in my mind at the time, meaning giving her the sexual service she wants by bringing her to orgasm the way she wants), me having my release the way she prefers, and, somewhat new to our conversations, how her being in control must naturally extend to her holding the decision of whether there is even going to be any explicit sexual activity.

Looking back on it, I wonder if she was testing me, in a way.  If catering to her sexual desires includes her not allowing me an orgasm, does it include me taking a more dominant role if that is what she wants?  That morning, she started to turn our intimacy from mental intercourse to more traditional physical stimulation.  She told me to get on top of her, hold her down, and kiss her passionately.  I can’t remember what phrase she used, but, essentially, she wanted me to dry hump her (I know that doesn't sound very romantic).  It was hot when we did it because she had several orgasms that she described as “quiet and deep inside.”  She then instructed me, very clearly and very directly, to “take me.  Fuck me hard until you cum inside of me.” 

In a way, you could say that she was demanding, but you could also say that she was begging for it.  It was clear that her desire, at that moment, was for sexual abandonment and she wanted to feel like she was being conquered.

So, this is where I feel I learned something about the nature of my desire for her to be in control.  For a brief moment, I thought that I should hesitate in taking the upper hand and refuse to “conquer her” because she is the one who is supposed to be in control.  I quickly realized, however, that to require that I be kept in the subordinate role would really be me topping from the bottom and demanding sex on my terms.  Instead, I understood that she was simply expressing her desire at that moment to feel so wanted by me that she was being overwhelmed by my masculinity (so to speak).  She was exercising control by demanding sex on her terms and right away.  If I mean it when I say she is in charge, just as that means I have to cool my jets when she does not desire for one or both of us to have an orgasm, it also has to mean that will I drag her back to the cave by her hair and fuck her brains out if that is what she wants for me to do.

This was not a turn-off for me.  I was certainly able to get into the groove because, especially these days, I am in a virtually constant state of lust for her.

So, I did what she asked.  I penetrated her and began going at it so hard that I was literally banging her head on the headboard.  I went for it without paying attention to whether she was approaching orgasm because I was following her vocalizations of “Yes, yes!”  “Harder, Harder!” and, “God! Take me.  Take me, now!”  I didn’t say anything while this was happening other than to quietly ask, “Can I cum?” before I released into her. 

In retrospect, I have been thinking that I should have been saying things to her while I was taking her that would have fed her fantasy of being conquered.  By the same token, I wonder if I should have asked her for permission to cum.  At the time, at the moment of release, it seemed like the right thing to do and, ultimately, a show of respect for her authority.  But, maybe I should have held back.  I don't know.  What do you think?  I guess, I should just ask her whether it increased her pleasure or not.

I feel like I should have seen this coming, but I didn’t.   Here is the interesting and satisfying thing.  If she were to have told me to do this a year ago, of course, I would have done it.  And I would have chalked it up to her doing it because she loves me and was probably thinking that I would enjoy the sensation of conquering her.  But, I know that on this day last week, she wasn’t focused on me living my fantasy.  She was living out her fantasy and I was the instrument of her pleasure.  How cool is that?!

What thoughts do you people have?  Am I off base here?

 
Posted : 06/03/2022 12:37 pm
Lovemypet, restrainedlove, restrainedlove and 1 people reacted
Jd3064169
(@jd3064169)
Posts: 55
Estimable Member
 

This is something I've pondered in my mind also. If you think about it having her decide everything all the time will eventually lead to the same type of of sex, as if you always did the same thing, same position every time. You would get bored.  So in a FLR relationship & with chastity how as the submissive do you also be the aggressor and not violate ant previous protocols you had?

As much as we guys would love our wives to always be the aggressors,  to always be on top & to always tell us what to do, that word "always" becomes a pattern. 

As usual I think a convo needs to be had with your gf. Technically if your being the aggressor your still letting her tell you what to do. (catch 22)

There probably needs to be a couple rules that are always in effect.  Like regardless of who initiated you still need to ask if you can cum? Or if you initiated all other rules no longer apply.  If your in chastity she would still need to let you out even if you initiated. 

It's a little tricky, but just needs a little conversation.  

 
Posted : 07/03/2022 10:33 am
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1093
Member
 

@allabouther I hear ya brother.  It is the epitome of a dilemma.  Especially in trying to figure out to what level she wants me to take control.  Sometimes she'll even want to spanked, or anal, and trying to figure out on my own if she wants that kind of aggressiveness can be harrowing when left to my own devices.  Ms. K. will sometimes tell me to just "take her", and as time has gone on, I get more and more comfortable in knowing what that means to her at that given moment.  Like @jd3064169 mentioned, even in those moments where she has given me the reins, and just wants to wallow in blissful abandonment, I am still required to ask for permission to come.  It's more in one of these scenarios that she will allow it, but not always, like when she's had a few minutes after her orgasm.  In any event, even though she is temporarily assuming the role of submissive, there is never any doubt about who is in ultimate control.  

We talk about it and I tell I'm just not sure.  She will remind that it is my responsibility to be able to anticipate her needs and to satisfy. And you know what?  She's absolutely right.  Experience and training provides me a better understanding of just what is expected of me when she wants to "taken".  experience is obvious.  Training can mean a punishment spanking for being either to light, or too heavy.  

 

 
Posted : 07/03/2022 12:32 pm
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
Member
Topic starter
 

@Jd3064169 and @subhubphx you both make good points.  While I certainly aspire to being able to anticipate my girlfriend’s desires, at this stage in our journey, outside of plain old trial and error, there really isn’t any way for me to learn other than by communicating.  

Maybe a little of both.  Next time she tells me to be the aggressor, I will try vocalizing the dominance and watch for how she reacts.

No matter how she reacts, however, I still see myself asking for permission before coming.  Playing the aggressor for her pleasure is my gift to her.  I think I should naturally deliver what she wants to the best of my ability.  But, having an orgasm is always her gift to me.  One that I should not take without her express consent.  I feel I can certainly be aggressive, but that I always have to be respectful of her authority.

 
Posted : 07/03/2022 7:44 pm
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
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Topic starter
 

The journey my girlfriend and I are on is continuing to accelerate.  One result of the exchange of power that has occurred between us is that I find that I am now thinking seriously about things that I thought of in only a theoretical sense before.  Specifically, I have been thinking about semen retention and the benefits it might hold for our relationship.

It is more of a mindset change than anything else.  Until recently, I wasn’t really open to the idea, and never seriously considered it.  Looking at it now, there were three things that kept me trapped in a negative mindset:

  • During my 27 years of marriage, my wife was not open to any meaningful intimacy. For many years before our marriage ended, the frequency of sex was once every month or two, and when we did have sex virtually free of intimacy.  I liked my orgasms and there was no way I was going to allow my sexual release to be in the hands of a person who simply didn’t care if I was getting anything out of our relationship.  Keeping control of my orgasms in my own hands, so to speak, absolutely became a habit.
  • While I have had a very healthy sex life with my girlfriend for the last five years, what I read online about semen retention seemed to stand for the proposition that the primary benefit of the practice is that it is a powerful tool to make the man keenly focused on pleasing his partner, both sexually and otherwise. I have always felt that I am a generous lover and unusually supportive partner.  I never noticed any letdown in focus on my girlfriend’s pleasure as a result of me having an orgasm.  So, my thinking was, “Why would I deprive myself of pleasure if it was not resulting in greater pleasure for her?”
  • My perception of semen retention was that it was really just a male “construct,” dressed up to be a “kinder and gentler” version of femdom orgasm denial, used by men to “top from the bottom” and feed a fetish.

Over the past several months, as the sexual power has shifted from me to my girlfriend, I have begun to question those biases.  The fact that one has a habit is not in any way a justification for continuing the habit.  Now that I am living in a relationship where my lover and I both agree that she should control sex, why should that only apply to the sex that occurs when we are together?  And finally, what if retaining is not an attempt to top from the bottom and control my girlfriend, but, rather, because semen retention had benefits for me?

In this topic on the Forum, we have been talking about gradual changes that occur between people in an FLR.  Today I realized that I have already been engaging in some gradual change regarding semen retention.  I just never thought of it in those terms.  It dawned on me today that I have actually been engaging in semen retention, in a very limited way, as my GF has taken over more and more control of my sex life.   

For a year or so, I have been intentionally avoiding having an orgasm when I know I am going to be with my girlfriend within the next three days.  I haven’t been doing it intentionally to make sure I am placing the proper focus on her.  It has happened rather naturally.

There are two reasons I have been retaining on this (admittedly) limited basis.  The first and larger reason is that I have wanted to be ready to perform for her at my best when called upon to do whatever she may want from me.  The second and reinforcing reason is that it just didn’t feel like I was living integrity in relation to the idea that any orgasm I had with my GF was for her pleasure and at her whim.  She has gradually become more openly accepting of the principle that I only cum if, when, and how it pleases her, and that when it happens it is only with her express permission.  It just didn’t feel like I was being faithful to this commitment if I was intentionally engaging in conduct (self-pleasure) that was artificially preventing my body from feeling the full physical effects of her conscious decision to delay my orgasm for her pleasure.  t.

I am now starting to see that succumbing to masturbation habit because I didn’t think I was going to see my girlfriend for four days just making a mockery of my pretensions that I had surrendered control of my orgasm to her.  I had surrendered control of SOME of my orgasms to her, but not all of them.  I know it seems pretty damn obvious, but if masturbation is sex with myself, and I have committed to giving her 100% control of my sex life, then continued masturbation without her permission is simply irreconcilable with my supposed commitment.

I think I was really in denial about this lack of integrity.  I even took it to the ridiculous extreme about a month ago, when we were away from each other for about ten days, and I wrote her a text and asked her for permission to masturbate.  What a moron!  I mean, I technically submitted my orgasm to her control and permission.  But my actions were doing nothing to enhance our relationship or the intimacy between us.  I am really embarrassed when I recall doing this.  I feel that it was extremely selfish.  It did nothing but impose upon her otherwise pleasant evening and served only as an excuse to get myself off.  She gave me permission because she is truly a generous person.  But she had every right to tell me, “Hell, no!  Your orgasms are mine and you are not to have one unless I say that it will bring me pleasure to grant one.” 

I think I can no longer avoid the obvious reality.  If I mean it that my greatest sexual joy comes from surrendering control of my sex life and orgasms to her, then I don’t see how I have a choice to do anything other than ALWAYS retain until she decides I should cum.  In fact, I am late to the game.  I should have been doing this a long time ago.  After all, I am the one who talks so much about how I want us to be more intimate more of the time and how sex between us extends beyond traditional physical acts of gratification.  If I don’t want to be a “poser,” and if I really want to walk the walk, then what other choice do I have other than to retain for so long as she may decide?  I am afraid I have to say goodbye to my masturbation habit if I am going to be true to myself or true to my commitment to my girlfriend.

I may be surprised to find out that my focus on enhancing the quality of my girlfriend’s life improves.  That will be great if it happens.  Frankly, I am more worried that I am going to become a horny pest to her.  But I would be happy to realize some of the personal benefits of semen retention that I have read about; feeling more energized, having sharper mental focus, reinforcing my desire to live a life of self-control and receive the benefits of delayed gratification, and finding the increased motivation to improve my diet and exercise routine.

The most compelling reason to do it, however, would be that it should assure my girlfriend of my commitment to her and her total authority over our sex lives and my orgasms.  It should provide tangible evidence of my total sincerity to making our sex lives solely about her pleasure.  If I can give her those assurances, I will feel more personally satisfied myself.

 
Posted : 08/03/2022 4:23 pm
subhubphx
(@subhubphx)
Posts: 1093
Member
 
Posted by: @allabouther

I even took it to the ridiculous extreme about a month ago, when we were away from each other for about ten days, and I wrote her a text and asked her for permission to masturbate.  What a moron!  I mean, I technically submitted my orgasm to her control and permission.  But my actions were doing nothing to enhance our relationship or the intimacy between us.  I am really embarrassed when I recall doing this.  I feel that it was extremely selfish.  It did nothing but impose upon her otherwise pleasant evening and served only as an excuse to get myself off.  She gave me permission because she is truly a generous person.  But she had every right to tell me, “Hell, no!  Your orgasms are mine and you are not to have one unless I say that it will bring me pleasure to grant one.” 

IMHO, I don't think it is a lack of integrity and likewise, I don't think it was selfish, nor something you should be embarrassed about.  I shouldn't be thought of as an imposition on her to simply ask.  As she becomes more and more comfortable in her role, she should become more and more comfortable exerting her authority, and if she truly does or doesn't think you should orgasm, she'll tell you.  Clearly she had every right to say no.  But she said yes.  You should savor every yes, especially while you are still allowed to jerk off.  Perhaps you might consider asking her if you should even be allowed to ask.  Ms. K. and I have a standing rule that I am not ever allowed to touch myself and "steal" an orgasm that she owns, but I am always allowed to ask.  There is a natural ebb and flow that has developed where I'm pretty good at knowing if I am becoming a pest or not, which is something I of course want to avoid.  Becoming a pest means certain correction measures will be implemented.  Ouchy!


i control you GIF by FirstAndMonday
 
Posted : 08/03/2022 5:11 pm
allabouther
(@allabouther)
Posts: 314
Member
Topic starter
 

Gulp.  I have taken the biggest step so far.  I have shifted gears to increase the acceleration of the FLR journey that my girlfriend and I have been undertaking.  It happened this morning while we were “making love” and having one of our intimate conversations. 

As an aside, I say “making love” not “having sex” because my girlfriend made that distinction herself while we were talking.  I have said to her several times that I feel that we are having sex when we are in our intimate “safe space,” cuddling, kissing, and talking intimately, even when no orgasms are being pursued.  When I mentioned that again this morning, she told me she thought what I was saying was confusing and that what we were doing was making love.  Sex, to her, is when we are driving for orgasmic release for one or both of us.  Of course, she is absolutely right.  And I think it is an amazing coincidence that @mrs-j-k wrote about the exact same word choices and the distinction between them on the very same day, just a couple of hours ago in the Thoughts on Poly-Friending forum.  She wrote about one of her counselling clients:  “He said that making love is not the same as having sex.  Making love is what makes sex good.  Then he spoke up, and I remember what he said almost word for word because it was exactly what I wanted him to learn, ‘When you finally let us have sex again I will make sure it is about making her know how much I love her, not about the sex.’”  This is exactly the sentiment I have been trying to convey, just not very well.

As we were talking, I realized I felt safe enough to confess that I wanted to give my girlfriend control of ALL my orgasms, not just orgasms that may occur when we are making love or having sex.  My heart skipped a beat as I made the confession and waited for her reaction.  Would she laugh in my face?  Would she call me a weirdo and withdraw in disgust?  Would there be some other kind of negative reaction that would make me regret my decision to tell her about my decision and my desire?  No, I am thrilled to report, there was not.  She took it right in stride and reacted very positively.

Here is how we came to take this step.  Last night, when we got into bed we spent about an hour and a half “making love” without having sex.  We kissed and cuddled.  I rubbed her back.  Mostly we talked while we embraced each other.  She sought no pleasure by telling me to bring her to orgasm nor any pleasure by allowing me one either.  She talked about how open I was becoming with her.  We both agreed that she was sincerely loving the control we have agreed she should have and that she was not just playing a role to please me.  At one point she asked me if I was telling her all my feelings.

That is when I should have told her that I had decided to stop masturbating and submit all of my orgasms to her control.  But I didn’t.  I chickened out.  I said, “I am not sure you’d be comfortable if I told you all my feelings.  I don’t want to feel pressured to go beyond your comfort zone.”  She is so compassionate.  She did not pressure me in the least to spill the beans.  The conversation moved to other topics and she eventually fell asleep in my arms.

Then at about 4:00 in the morning, I woke up when she got out of bed to use the bathroom.  I know that often, when she wakes up early after a few hours’ sleep, she likes to have me pleasure her.  Sometimes this puts her into her place of bliss and she falls back to sleep for a while.  Other times, it winds her up and she can’t wait to get up and get an early start on the day.  Anticipating that there was a good chance she would want me to pleasure her, I got up to use the bathroom to.  I got to the bathroom as she was coming out.  I have her a hug and asked, “How is my beautiful Queen?”  (She likes me to use the term “Queen” for her.  She does not like me to call her “mistress.”)  She smiled warmly, gave me full kiss and told me to hurry back to bed.

When I returned, she crawled into my arms and put her head on my shoulder.  We did some passionate kissing and I let her set the pace, as always.  It seemed that she wanted to talk more and share intimate feelings.  She did want us both to be naked, though, so she told me to take off both of our shirts.  I just felt so loved being in her warm embrace, with her soft breasts on my chest.  As we talked, I felt so totally safe that I felt I could share what I had held back just six hours before.  I asked her if I could tell her what I had hesitated to say the night before.  “Of course,” was her response. 

I told her that the more I said to her about my desire to be liberated of having any control over our sex lives, and the more she embraced taking over that leadership role, the more honest and intimate I felt our relationship was becoming and the more true to myself I felt was being.  I told her that, “Rather than feeling more vulnerable or insecure, with each step we take I feel more safe and more loved. But the more that I feel I am being my true self, the more clearly I see that I am not acting with integrity with regard to one thing.”  I had definitely piqued her interest.  “What is that?” she said.

“I have told you that I want you to have total control over my sex life and you have enthusiastically accepted that power.  But the truth is I have only given you control over some of my orgasms.  I feel I need to stop masturbating when I am not with you and give you control of all my orgasms,” I explained.  Her initial response was, “No.  We have very different sex drives, and you need to have your release when we are not together.”

This sparked a wonderful and totally open conversation during which she expressed that she was worried I was over-thinking things and following things to a logical conclusion that was not necessary.  I told her that I understood her perspective and why she could think that because I am a lawyer.  “But I really don’t feel I am over thinking at all.  To me it is like falling in love.  You don’t do a logical analysis and conclude you are in love.  You just feel it and know it when it is right.   This is exactly the same thing.  I haven’t decided it is the logical thing to do, all things considered.  I just know it is right thing to do because I know how right it feels for you to be in control of our sex and my orgasms.”

She wasn’t saying “no” to me, but she was acting a bit as if she was trying to protect me from a rash decision.  I tried to put her at ease.  I said, “This is why I was hesitant to talk about this last night.  I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.  If you don’t want to take this gift, that is fine.  In the end, all I want to do it increase your happiness.  If it doesn’t make you happy, we won’t do it,” I said.  “In fact,” I went on, “that is kind of my biggest worry.  I worry that I will become a pest by acting so needy and that I will become so focused on my orgasm that I will lose focus on your pleasure.”

She said, “Well, you don’t have to worry about that.  I decide when we have sex and I am strong enough to not let you pester me into doing anything that I have not decided we are going to do.”  This statement just about melted my heart and validated my belief that she had made serious strides.  “If you cum when we are not together, that doesn’t diminish any pleasure for me,” she said.  I replied, “But here is the way I see it.  They are really YOUR orgasms.  I shouldn’t be allowed to share one except when I am with you and you give me permission to have one.”  She nodded her head in understanding. 

I said, “I don’t want to make you feel any pressure.  How about this?  We’ll try it for a few weeks and talk about it again.  How about we go until April 1.  I will not masturbate without your permission, and it will just be understood that you control ALL my orgasms.  Neither of us will talk about it, and you can tell me how you feel after the first of the month.”  She nodded again and said, “That sounds good.”  We got quiet and resumed cuddling and kissing.

Then she said, “What about calling me to ask for permission?”  I said, “I’m not going to do that.  First off, I am thinking about you all the time.  I am not going to call you out of the blue when are doing something important and ask you for permission to jerk off.  That would be the worst pest I could possibly be.”  She shook her head in understanding.  “But what if I call you?” She asked.  I replied, “Now that would be hot.  If you are at your place and thinking of me and you were to call me and say, ‘I want you to jerk off for me,’ that would be totally hot!  It would be about your pleasure, I would have no choice but to submit to your control, and I would get to cum.”  She smiled and laughed.  “I might have to do that this weekend.”

She rolled over and snuggled up close so I could spoon her.  I held her in silence for several minutes.  After a while, I asked her what she was thinking.  “I’m just processing,” she said, so I let her think to herself.  Five or ten minutes later, I heard her siffle.   My hear sank.  Oh God!  I had gone too far, screwed everything up and caused a major setback.  “Are you crying?” I asked tentatively.

“Just a little,” she said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.  I am so lucky,” she said.  “I have never felt so loved in my entire life.”

I was overwhelmed with a total sense of peace and joy.  I squeezed her so hard she almost couldn’t breathe.

A few minutes later, she rolled over and told me, “I want you to come for me.”  She pushed me onto my back, wrapped my arm around her as she put her head on my chest.  She reached down with her left hand to play with my balls.

“Where do you want me to cum?” I asked.  “Across my stomach, I’m guessing?”

“Yes,” she said.  “But remember you have to ask for permission to cum.”

“Yes, my Queen.  I will.

She then proceeded to supervise my masturbation, making me bring myself to the edge five or six times. Each time I asked for permission to cum for her and each time she said, “No,” with a little devil in her voice.  I have learned to ask with plenty of time so that I don’t accidently have a ruined orgasm when I have to stop if she says no.  The last time, I begged, “Please may I have permission to cum for you?”  This time she gave me permission to shoot my seed.  It went all over both of us when I came.  It was a mind-blowing orgasm.

I have been on Cloud Nine since this morning.  On my way to work, I stopped to get her a bouquet of flowers and a card.  When I brought them to her, she was meeting with her assistant.  The assist said, “Oh, flowers!  I didn’t know it was your birthday.”  My girlfriend simply said, “It’s not,” and took the flowers with a smile.  In the card, I wrote, “Thank you for accepting my gift (at least on a trial basis).  I love you so much and feel totally safe with my heart in your hands.”

 

 
Posted : 10/03/2022 11:06 pm
Page 2 / 19

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