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Still learning about each other after all these years

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Dave asked a “nervous” question this morning while we were lying there cuddling.  He asked me, “What do I bring to our marriage?  Do I do my share?”  He told me he made a good living for us but I do everything else.  I told him he does more than his share around the house and he makes me feel loved and cherished.  He said he wasn’t talking about chores or giving me orgasms.  He means like I bring.  "Like how loved you made me feel the other night.  It was so wonderful just being inside you and holding you."  I just listened and let him talk.  He said without me he would be lost.  He wouldn’t be able to make friends, he certainly would not have a wife and beautiful children.  He would still be that geek he was back in college.  He said he realized this when he got so upset about my posting about playtime.  He told me it scared him that he was suddenly alone that morning.  He said I am not just beautiful and smart.  I am so confident and strong.  I am always in control and know exactly what I am doing.  He said, “You make everything work in our lives."    I told him I have confidence because of him.  He has made me strong by letting me lead him and teach him.  I said a good leader is nothing without a good follower.  Then I said, “It is our love for each other that makes it work.”  He quickly retorted, “But you supply all the energy.  I feel like I am just enjoying the free ride.”  I didn’t know how to respond.  In a way he might be right that I am the engine so to speak.  But he is not getting a free ride.  He is so loving and caring and the intimacy he shows me makes it all worth every bit of emotional energy I spend. 

He has never opened up like this before.  I thought he might be trying in a back door kind of way to talk about our playtime and his fear.  His words echoed the very thoughts he expresses when he has an “episode.”  I wasn’t really prepared to talk about it but I definitely did not want it to die on the vine.  I asked him if he was getting those feelings.  He said no but I have been thinking about it since “You know When” and now I wonder if I really do deserve you.  He asked, “You have made me everything I am today, what have I done for you?”

I almost cried.  He has no idea what he means to me.  I said, “Where do I start?  When we met I was a girl with no direction and just bouncing from one bad relationship to another.  My idea of love was getting screwed by the hottest guy around and then he would cheat on me or dump me.”  I told Dave that he showed me what real love and caring are and he shows me that love every day.  I said, “You changed me from a girl to a  strong woman.”  You trusted me to let me mold you into the special person you have become.  I told him it takes a strong and caring man to trust his woman like you do.  I said, “You couldn’t possibly be weak or a nothing and do that.  You are my rock when I need a rock.  You will always be my work in progress though.”

He said, “Thank you.  I needed to hear that.”  He kissed me and said that we better get up.  

 

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Topic starter Posted : 28/08/2021 5:54 am
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After looking at the other post Stephie showed me what she had written here yesterday morning.  She asked me if I would be alright if she wrote about last night.  I asked her if I could write about it instead.  I told her I need to tell her how I feel.  She smiled and said, "by all means."  

Last night was our scheduled love making when I get to orgasm.  The foreplay was wonderful as always and then I suddenly had this weird desire.  I asked her if she would do what she did Thursday night.  Just lie still with me inside her and let me caress her.  I said I think I can make you orgasm that way and it just felt so wonderful lying inside you.  If I don't orgasm it will be okay for me if it is okay for you.  She took me almost to the edge and then rolled up on me and I put my penis in her and started to caress her whole body.  After a few minutes her body tensed up and her vagina pulsed slightly and she had this very quiet orgasm.  I didn't orgasm but I felt an amazing rush and then this feeling of absolute peace.  We laid there for a long time so quietly, even after I went flaccid and came out of her.  I know it wasn't a mind blowing orgasm for her but the feeling I got was something very special that I almost felt the other night and I want to feel again if she is willing.  I love her so much.

This is now Stephie and he just made me cry.  And I don't cry!  It was an amazing feeling for me too.  Not at all like normal love making and we might be able to do this during the week sometimes.  It was special.

After we cuddled for a while I had him give me my oral orgasm and it was mind-blowing.  All I wanted to do after that was hold him so tight and we held each other and I slept in his arms.  He didn't get to orgasm and I know he is horny but he is alright with it.  I will adjust our schedule so that next Saturday will be a love making Saturday.  And I thought everything was perfect before.  

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Topic starter Posted : 29/08/2021 7:07 am
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I just can’t seem to get what happened last night out of my head.  Firstly, I gave up control in the bedroom to Dave.  But it was beautiful.  It was not at all about the orgasms.  That moment was about love, pure and simple.  It was as if Dave gave us both a gift.  He felt this amazing sense of peace and I felt something warm and sensual that I have never felt before and can’t begin to describe. I don’t know how Dave knew he could give me an orgasm just by caressing me with no vaginal stimulation.  It was not like any orgasm I’ve ever had before.  It wasn’t exciting.  It was so fulfilling though.   It was so intimate, so calming, so indescribable.

Mind you I missed that special feeling I get when we orgasm almost simultaneously.  There is no feeling quite like that.  But this was just so sensual.  Like Dave, I want it to happen again.  I don’t know if doing it on a regular basis it would lose that special feeling or would it get even better?  Was part of the special feeling because Dave didn’t get to release and he didn’t care?  Will it be different if we did it on a night when he isn’t supposed to get release anyway.?  I know I’m just babbling but I have never been so confused about how I feel.  I had a most wonderful experience in the bedroom that I had no control over and it is just playing with my mind.  Maybe @Emma can explain what I am feeling.  She seems to understand these things.

It is important we maintain Dave’s release schedule so that when he has his orgasm it is as powerful as it can be.  It is important that we have our simultaneous orgasms every two weeks because there is nothing more rewarding in love making than that.  But now I want this feeling of pure sensual love to be part of our bedroom ritual.  I thought I had our sex lives all under control and then Dave threw me a curve ball. 

He asked me yesterday morning “what does he bring to this marriage.”  I can’t even begin to tell him.  

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Topic starter Posted : 29/08/2021 11:44 am
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This has been an interesting week.  We have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what happened Saturday a week ago and what made it so special and how we can incorporate it into our love life.  I think we are getting close and I will let you know what we figure out when we finally get there.

This Saturday night was a deviation from our norm.  I told Dave that since it had now been five weeks since his last orgasm we would make love and I removed his cage. (3 weeks ago he had the episode and he got milked but no "O" and last week he sacrificed his orgasm for that special moment.)

Dave had trouble controlling himself and I could sense he was indeed chasing the orgasm.  I tried to slow him down but he was definitely pushing through the foreplay.  He was still loving but the feeling was totally different.  He did give me my oral orgasm but even that was less tender and more rushed.  I finally rolled on top of him and inserted his penis in me.  I could tell he wanted to thrust.  He ended up actually having his orgasm a second or so before me. 

Normally we would lie coupled for a minute or two after the orgasms but he suddenly asked if he could lie on my breast and if I would just hold him tight.  I could sense he felt terrible.  I rolled over and pressed his head against my breast and we laid there quiet for a couple minutes.  Then he said, “Thank you for holding me.  I hope that means you forgive me.”  He looked up at me and said, “I’m sorry.  I made it about me instead of you and us.  I love you and I didn’t mean to rape you.  I never want to hurt you.”  He was almost crying.  I told him he didn’t rape me and I forgive him.  I said I thought I knew what happened and I understood.  It was like I gave him the biggest present ever.  He got a wonderful smile and said, “Thank you.  I love you so much.”  The amazing power of forgiveness.  Then we snuggled and started to talk.  I told him I would never let him go five weeks again but that was still no excuse for losing control.  He thanked me for understanding and said he wouldn’t let it happen again and told me if he ever did I should just stop the sex right then and there and put his cage back on him. We cuddled and talked about mostly nothing for a long time and then I pushed him down to give me another oral.  We snuggled a few more minutes before I fell asleep in his arms.  

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Topic starter Posted : 06/09/2021 1:45 pm
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He truly understands about making love.

I had been thinking on and off for the last two weeks about that special Saturday night when we just laid still together with Dave inside me and he did nothing but caress my body and I had a gentle but sensual orgasm.  We both had some new and amazing feelings and wanted to recreate that experience again. 

As usual I was overthinking it.  What made it so special was that I had relinquished control of my bedroom to Dave and he made it something wonderful.  It was not about his orgasm at all.  He chose to forgo his release to experience this special love making.  It was the most unique orgasm I ever had.  It was not exhilarating.  It was sensual, it was wonderful.  I had seen where @Emma had discussed “Dock and Talk” in a couple of blogs and I revisited one of them.  In her blog she still maintains control and it is almost about distracting the man so he is less conscious of being in PIV and she makes sure he doesn’t thrust or try to have an orgasm.  Our docking had no talking and he was in control and making sure I didn’t thrust. 

Last night was Dave’s no “O” Saturday and as we were getting ready for bed he asked if we could do that special PIV.  I asked him what made him want to do it.  I told him that it seemed to me like it must be very frustrating and difficult.  He said, and I quote as best as I can remember his words, “When we lie so still with me inside you I belong to you and you belong to me.  We are one body, one person.  When you had that orgasm I could feel your body tighten against me and your vagina squeeze my penis and I got this rush.  I shared your orgasm.”  He went on, “In that moment I felt closer to you than ever before and then I just felt so at peace as we laid there linked as one.”  I was at a loss for words.  Then he said that he knew my orgasm wasn’t very good but he promised that afterwards he would give me a real orgasm if I would do this for him.

I removed his cage and we got into bed totally naked.  We had at least a half hour of foreplay and I edged him twice.  He had me very aroused when I finally rolled him on his back and mounted him.  He held me very close and then he caressed my body from my knees to my hair.  He would run his hand up my thighs and my buttocks letting one finger trace my butt crack. and eventually he would slide his hand back down along my side rubbing the side of my breast.  We were silent.  We could actually hear ourselves breathing and then I started to breathe heavier.  All at once my body tensed and I had that very gentle orgasm and he pulled me so tight against him and then we just laid there for a couple of minutes with still not a word.

He lost his erection and came out of me and then I rolled off of him and we cuddled and talked for a while.  I asked him if it was as good as that first time.  He said, “You were wonderful.  I wish I could make that moment last forever.”  As for me, I still can’t describe the feeling.  It is so intimate and so sensual.  I guess I just felt loved.

We snuggled some more and then I curled up in his arms and was ready to go to sleep.  Dave told me he hadn’t given me my real orgasm yet.  I said, “That is okay.  It would just be anticlimactic.” 

When we woke up this morning I must have felt a need to reclaim my position of authority in the bedroom and declared in an almost bossy way, “It is settled.  We do this every No “O” Saturday.  Do you understand?”  Dave smiled and said, “yes mam.”   

 

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Topic starter Posted : 12/09/2021 6:44 am

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