Introduction: Taking the Reigns
Great post! i think this shift will become naturally more and more common as those who participate are SUPER satisfied and fulfilled!
Sad to read some of the comments. In my industry (Information Technology) there's lots of men and women are commonly mistreated (sexualized, considered less, disrespected in other ways).
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, hold the phone, stop the Bus. You 2 have been together for five Years???
Kevin, buddy, what the hell are you waiting for?????
Emma is smart, funny and cares about you deeply. This whole blog is a giant love letter about you and how much she loves you and how she wants your relationship to amazing.
Don't waste time like I did. I was with the love of my life for 12 years before I committed. It was too long.
When you find someone who not only completes you, but wants you to be a better version of yourslef...you put a ring on it.
My wife and got married in Vegas and it was amazing. Simple and intimate.
Sorry if this is none of my business but you both seem so in love.
Being Husband and Wife takes your relationships to another level. I thought I was in love with my wife before getting married...that love pales in comparison to what we have as Man and Wife.
Sorry for derailing the topic. But I have been reading this blog about a wonderful Woman who loves a Good Man and she is always talking about how she wants him to be better.
To me it just seems right.
I am sorry if I offended both you, but sometimes my heart just needs to speak.
Phenious a.k.a Adam.
I can’t speak to how your call to action will be received but I’m sure that your enthusiasm for Emma and Kevin is widely shared in the peanut gallery. Who here wouldn’t want to help heft the chairs on which these two sat and dance the hora.
Emma, just rereading around in your blog I feel compelled to repeat your statement, “I agree. If ejaculations are controlled, conversations happen and feelings flow freely even though the semen doesn’t. Intimacy has increased exponentially and we are closer than ever. I am not afraid to show him physical intimacy – previously I was afraid that intimacy and affection would lead to expectations of sex.”
That this might describe the frame of mind of not just you but that of many younger and older women, of the woman in my life, is a little mind boggling for me. I’m not wanting to dispute this at all but wish you would unpack it for the thick-headed among us (namely me). Accepting the statement that ejaculation control leads to communication and communication to intimacy you seem to be saying that emotional intimacy eliminates your fear of expressing physical intimacy and that from the former flows the latter. But in the next sentence you say that (without ejaculation control) you had feared that intimacy (emotional?) would lead to physical or sexual intimacy. Does the difference between these two have to do with a quantity of intimacy? There is more when he is controlled or when you are controlling him, and reaching a certain threshold trust allows physical affection to be expressed, or is the character of the intimacy simply different. Is it simply that the intimacy with a retaining man, a caged man isn’t predicated on his ultimately being the penetrator and so it is somehow less threatening or more authentic? Is this the sex barter issue?
....... I feel compelled to repeat your statement, “I agree. If ejaculations are controlled, conversations happen and feelings flow freely even though the semen doesn’t. Intimacy has increased exponentially and we are closer than ever. I am not afraid to show him physical intimacy – previously I was afraid that intimacy and affection would lead to expectations of sex.”
One of the core statements of truth and fact. When ejaculations are controlled .... good things happen.
It took us close 7 years of being together before we officially got married. Even then when we did we eloped because fornicate everyone else's expectations. My family is large and many are well off so a wedding is expected.
Even with that I only proposed because I was told I was allowed to. This was well before any FLR aspects, she had always told me she was not sure about marriage to begin with. We picked out a ring together and I got to pick when where and how I did it. Half way into planning we realized it was a shot show and not worth our time, so we decided to do it our way and have fun with it instead. We had a killer 1 year anniversary party though. That was very low key and much more enjoyable. You don't need to be a fiancee for long if that's the only gripe.
If ejaculations are controlled, conversations happen and feelings flow freely even though the semen doesn't.
It's really this simple. What a great quote. It might also be true to say that conversation happens and feelings especially when the semen doesn't
Yep! I would agree with this. I have learned to be ok with my semen flowing less freely as I have come to deeply value the increased flow of emotions, meaningful conversations, and intimate connections in other ways with my Ladies/Keyholders. Orgasms are still appreciated when they are permitted but there are so many other aspects to value and appreciate.
Love this .........
"Usually in that condition (with the cage) the orgasm becomes almost the only man’s goal: this is not good because for reciprocal happines the final goal is woman’s pleasure (and therefore male pleasure to serve her and finally his own orgasm)."
This is an incredibly important thing for any man that is retaining or having his orgasms/ejaculations controlled. Only the man really ever knows but if the goal for the man is orgasm, it is my belief that there is a structural deficiency in the relationship that will prevent him, and in particular her, from reaping the relationship benefits of orgasm control and retention through chastity.