The Male Orgasm
...the vulnerability of the cage is quite the emotional can-opener. It helps make certain conversations both possible and inevitable.
Well said! I am stealing that for twitter and the quotes on the sidebar of the site.
Hi, Dave and Steph,
Just one more voice here to assure you that denying the male traditional orgasm can work for both partners in a mutual, loving, relationship. In our case, I am not naturally submissive - and we were best friends and intense lovers before she introduced chastity. But we are both survivors of long term love-less marriages and had grown a bit too cynical to really have that "in love" feeling, specifically the "butterflies" you feel in "young love". Chastity cured that, big time. I can't think of anything but her now, and that fuels her love light intensely. We have fun and both feel like teenagers in love again. What price have people paid to find such a fountain of youth?
We have discovered that I need a long period of denial before I can orgasm from her orgasm. Where we can truly share that intense feeling together without me refocusing on my penis. When it happens it is truly the greatest feeling ever and worth every missed "traditional" orgasm ever. In between these she works very hard to make it fun, provide me other releases, and lots and lots of cuddle time and closeness that just doesn't happen when I am not denied. My life is truly better now even if I still miss my orgasms - maybe because I miss them. It sounds like you may have found a win-win where you can have both and with much shorter periods of denial, if so that is fantastic, consider yourselves very lucky, but don't feel sorry for me or label us as submissive kinksters (admittedly this lifestyle can lead one in that direction).
The only thing I don't understand with Emma and Kev is why he is allowed to masturbate, rather than letting his orgasm be at her doing. I am not criticizing since my point above is that mutually supportive, loving, relationships can take many forms for many reasons, but my experience is that when she took away my ability to masturbate my focus became solely on my wife. I might admire a pretty woman, it is in my DNA, but it just causes me to lust for my wife. I no longer have the ability to reinforce fantasies of other partners by orgasmic stimulation, and while I miss that I have to admit it took valuable attention away from her/us.
There is no reason to feel sorry for you. It seems like you and your Mrs. have found the balance point. It might be nice if it were more frequent but if it works don’t try to fix it.
Personally I don’t know why every couple does not want that mutual orgasm. The shared intimacy in that moment is indescribable. Yes, for a few seconds for Dave it becomes about the orgasm because it is so intense, but the love making leading up to it is about making love and not his orgasm. This is because the way we do it he doesn’t know till the last second when it will happen but he has no concern for it because he knows at some point it will as long as he makes sensual, intimate love to me. His orgasm is as much an emotional event for him as a physical moment. Afterward when we spend that next hour (give or take) just enjoying each other and being in love, well there are no words for it. It requires attention from me Sunday morning and during the day on Sunday but he spends the day doing things I want and generally pleasing me and he has no post orgasm depression.
Dave totally agrees with you about the way Kevin has his orgasm. He doesn't understand why they don't want to share that special moment of pure, ultimate love. He feels like Kevin is missing something that he sees as so wonderful. Emma assures us they are happy with the way they do it so who am I to say.
I agree totally about the time between his orgasms. In our case it is thirteen days of enjoying each other’s company and a simple intimacy with every hug and kiss and touch. Night times are about sensual love making even though I get an orgasm or two. My orgasms during this period are more about the feeling of being loved then about the excitement. I am guessing your wife feels much the same during your denial period. Your lifestyle seems much like ours and I sometimes think we are not kinky enough to be posting here. LOL
I wish you and your wife only the best on your journey.