Too quiet

I am among the men that introduced the concept of living a true Wife Led Marriage to my Wife.  I did so because I felt it would allow for us to have the kind of close and intimate relationship necessary for us to be in love and be together "until death do us part".  You know, after kids grow up and leave the nest?  I simply couldn't stand the idea that once we had "successfully" raised our children and sent them off into the world to be adults, that we might potentially be one of those couples that finds themselves with nothing in common other than raising a family.  There was no indication that was happening or would happen, but I didn't want to risk it either.

I knew that for it (WLM) to be possible, it would have to be something that simply made her life better.  I also knew that simply engaging in kink games normally associated with FLR/WLM wouldn't fir that criteria and it would end up being nothing more than her becoming my fetish peddler.  In other words, it TRULY needed to be on her terms, and would cause genuine additional pleasure in her life.  

If becoming the Dominant in our marriage meant that she took on additional burdens of being my Mistress Wife, that she would be unhappy.  In other words, again, our lifestyle needed to be solely about her pleasure, and in turn seeing her live true life of comfort, adoration, attention and worship, it would provide me with all the pleasure.  So far so good.

We had the expected bumps in the road.  It wasn't until she truly found comfort in knowing that she is not being selfish in desiring and/or demanding things be the way she wants, that she hit her stride in leadership role.  From that came immense pleasure for me and from that immense joy for her.  Once she truly knew that my source of pleasure is her pleasure, we were off and running. 

I think much of the male fetish for chastity comes from letting his partner down. Men are great at many things but keeping a woman's feelings first and foremost they do not specialize in. Men love tools, just look in every man's garage. I think they see the cage as a tool to help prevent them from letting down their partner. In my opinion most men embrace male chastity as a way to help them support their partner emotionally. Once they start, they crave the attention and affection that their new tool helped them create.

Emma, I had never thought of it that way, but you are definitely on to something there. And "they crave the attention and affection" is so 100% completely, obviously true.

@subhubphx well done, mate! So how did you navigate the process? Were there unexpected shipwrecks along the way?

My wife always enjoyed my attention, and I've always been easy for her to get me into a submissive state, so that side was fairly easy to find a mutual "win" with. When she gets me into a sub state, she gets lots of attention, and she eventually grew comfortable with that, despite some early misfires and apprehensions.

I think that she first got comfortable with the idea of a chastity "cage" when I was supposed to be gone for over a week on travel to a continent that she mentally associated with um ... previous bad husband behavior (affairs). I had made the trip plan without her explicit permission (long story, but I traveled too much for too long, and at some point I had agreed to always get her consent before traveling, and this time I thought that she had said ok, but she had not). So she was in a bad place to start with, feeling very vulnerable, and I volunteered to wear the device while I was gone. It may have worked a little too well. But we're not 24/7 with the cage thing; I just somehow live every second as if it were 24/7.

@true42

We navigated the process much like you described you and your wife did.  There were no shipwrecks but of course there was choppy waters at times, and we may have touched bottom (love nautical references), but for the most part it was all good.  Growth in our relationship was our goal.  The biggest hurdle(s) to get over where when I would unknowingly top from the bottom because, you know how husbands are, always trying to help.

When Ms. K. began to recognize that she wasn't being mean by being selfish about what she wanted, sexually or otherwise, she really began to see the benefits of a orgasm controlled, semen retaining submissive husband.  Her confidence really took when she could recognize the unmitigated joy and pleasure I would get (subspace) in service to her.  It's something that She/we are getting better at, but the light as clearly come in and when it did, our relationship went to new, better heights than ever before.

I don't know yet if we are 24/7 with the cage thing either.  We we first started out 10 years ago, we thought it was a law that a husband in a WLM was required to wear a cage.  Of course we didn't want to get in trouble with anyone, so we got one.  *smile

Being a one-size-fits-all plastic tube cage, it became uncomfortable quickly and with the tube design, it got "yucky" quickly.  Ms. K finally said the hell with and said she preferred for me to be free and available at all times, rather than having to go through the drudgery of removing and cleaning my bits to make them suitable for her to get near.  None of that is a problem with this new cage.  Very comfortable all the time and never gets yucky because of it's design.

For now, the only she has decided about how long I will be wearing it continuously is "until I tell you otherwise". I blogged about on my blog here if you are interested.  So, we'll see how that goes.