He probably does want to be locked! Once he grows accustomed to the feel of the cage and managing his releases, many men grow to feel more comfortable when caged. In a previous blog I mentioned that most men are hard wired to want to please their partner. For a man, pleasing his partner gives him a feeling of accomplishment and validation in his role as a boyfriend or husband. If he feels that the cage or your behavior while wearing the cage brings you joy or satisfaction then he values being caged.
For some men, it can be very challenging to not resort to frequent masturbation. Knowing that his orgasms are being managed by someone else and giving up that control is a huge leap of faith in his partner. This showing of trust is a wonderful way to enhance the bond between the two of you. When he trusts you to manage his releases and he places his faith in you to do the right thing for your relationship and at the same time, a tremendous weight is lifted off his shoulders.
When caged, many men resort to being uncharacteristically affectionate, or physically sensual. They reach out to give unsolicited massages, value hand holding and find more passion from kissing or hugging. Knowing that being uncaged may not bring you the same level of happiness subconsciously or consciously makes him want to be locked.
In our relationship, locking is a bit of a game. We are very playful and I will lock him as a punishment, sometimes real and sometimes imagined. If I am feeling needy, I'll lock him to feel loved. If I am feeling bossy, I'll lock him to feel powerful. You get the idea. Locking him up fills an emotional need in me and on the flip side it also fills a need in him.
He knows that an orgasm is a short lived endorphin rush that doesn't do much of anything for our relationship. He also knows that sacrificing a few of those orgasms may bring a great deal of additional happiness to our relationship. Most men, including Kev are hard wired for pleasing their mate and the cage is a fantastic metaphor and tool for that emotional need.
The cage is a metaphor for more than that. We all have a tendency to sexualize insecurities and the cage can become a healthy fetish. The cage can be a symbol for many things; differences in libido, infidelity in current or previous relationships or simply a symbol for the fact that the woman is typically the gatekeeper for sex in a relationship. …
