This site typically doesn't dive into extreme bdsm by any means but today I will. Why? Because I am fascinated by it. It all started one day when I was stroking Kev and describing an experience I had and I cupped his scrotum in my hand. I squeezed ever so gently and made eye contact with him to ensure that he was alright. While he grimaced with the anxiety of not knowing how much pressure I would exert, he didn't tell me to stop. In fact his eye contact got deeper and it almost appeared like he welcomed it.
There are few places on a man's body that can elicit such a range of responses. Yes I am speaking of physical responses, from pain to pleasure and everything in between but this takes many levels.
CBT explores the most fascinating of all organs, the penis. Dispute if you will but it physically increases in size when aroused, decreases in size when arousal drops. The penis accumulates emotional baggage that forms the entire personality of a man. Performance anxiety, penis envy, erectile dysfunction and even the term manhood show how closely linked this organ is to the self worth and identity of a man. Taking these mostly negative and anxiety producing aspects of the male experience and creating a scene with his literal manhood and identity in your hands is exhilarating and deeply intimate.
Why do men like anything? Why do any of us like anything? Ok I'm not going to get too existential. Many men identify as a masochist and enjoy the pain whether physical or emotional. Some men find the loss of control and intimacy of handing their fate to their trusted partner as deeply erotic. Due to the intensity of the sensations, some men may need CBT to feel aroused or even to climax. Many men do it simply because it pleases their partner and perhaps their pleaser fetish exerts a certain level of compersion to the pleasure of their partner over the punishment they are receiving. Some simply do it to experience the vast range of emotion that ball-busting and CBT allow. This falls in line with the desire to be embarrassed or humiliated and experience the accompanying emotions.
Women like this sort of thing for many reasons but my therapist says bondage and dominance comes from a deep need to control my relationship and my partner. The arousal comes from the need for power that I have over my partner. Knowing that he is helpless to resist and must comply with every wish is an incredible turn-on even though there is a safe-word in the wild. Pulling or tugging only takes his restraint to a place of mild discomfort as a reminder of his place in this fantasy. The penis and testicles are inherently masculine and controlling such masculine "objects" is tremendously pleasurable. A situation where a man is deeply emasculated to the point where their balls are truly in your hand can feel incredible.
I don't have balls so I don't know but Kev said that they are perhaps like breasts to some level where a little bit of pressure feels good and even some pain can feel good but if you get punched in the tit you are going to feel very uncomfortable. Even gentle pressure on balls can be painful at times because men are truly exposed and vulnerable. The thought that a soft touch can bring pleasure and a firm grab can put them at the edge of their very pain tolerance is exhilarating for both the giver and the receiver. There are so many unique toys for this purpose. We have two. One is a pillory which restrains him by the wrists and base of his penis in a standing position. The other is the much feared and revered humbler. Both of these devices are deeply immobilizing and dare I say, fun! …
