The dictionary defines compersion as:
You can think of compersion as the opposite of envy. The envious response to the above would be feeling envy rather than joy when watching the toddler. Compersion is an interesting thing when applied to lovemaking. For example, my Kevin feels compersion when watching me have an orgasm even when he is not allowed one of his own.
Many would argue that jealousy is the opposite of compersion but I don't think so. Envy is wanting what someone else has and jealousy is being upset about losing what you have. These two emotions are quite complicated but they are similar at their most basic level and all of them stem from insecurity.
I feel that compersion is one of the markers of true love. If I feel compersion toward you, I am quite literally valuing your feelings over my own. If I am feeling envious of you, I am wishing to take the feelings from you and make them my own. Envy in a relationship is toxic and will poison even the best relationship in short order.
Lots of things can trigger jealousy and envy but watch for these specific red flags:
- Possessiveness - You are not his property.
- Low Self-Esteem - You need a guy who knows who he is and is comfortable in his own skin.
- Control Issues - I should probably look in the mirror on this one but I won't. I know that I wouldn't be compatible with a man who has control issues.
- Vulnerability - Communication is key here, we all feel vulnerable sometimes and it is essential to communicate those feelings with your partner.
…
