In my relationship, male chastity is a godsend and I preach the benefits from the highest mountaintop. We use it as a tool to keep our relationship exciting, fun, intimate and loving. There is no rule book for chastity and we've had some trials and tribulations as Kevin and I have walked this road together. It is key that we walk this road together. Outwardly it may seem like chastity is about locking your guy and removing sexual energy from your relationship, it is quite the opposite.
The goal is to keep the sexual frustration high and the level of resentment low. It may seem like the more sexually frustrated he is, the more resentful he will be but they actually have an inverse relationship. I'll go through a couple scenarios with you so we can figure this all out together.
In this scenario, the woman locks the man and does nothing for the lockup period. No teasing, simply ignores that the man's penis is locked and goes about her day. You would think this fella would be incredibly sexually frustrated but after a few days the opposite actually starts to happen. His level of resentment will increase as she ignores him. As his level of resentment increases, his desire to direct his sexual energy at his partner decreases and he may become more distant and alone. Mild transgressions are met with reminders of being locked up. In this scenario, lockup is clearly regarded by both partners as a punishment.
In this scenario, the woman locks the man and does some mild teasing when he is locked along with some verbal and possibly light physical teasing. For this scenario, she may just not be into it. She may see some benefits during this time and will likely see a hot & cold man. The man will be conflicted between resentment which invokes a pull-away response and sexual frustration which results in a desire to perform acts of service.
For this scenario, the woman locks the man and accompanies with frequent teasing. Punishment for mild transgressions is more touching and teasing but extension of lockup period. Discussions are calm and reassuring but firm. Punishments are based on heightening arousal and bringing resentment levels down. For example: "You didn't take the trash out tonight so I want you to sit on your hands beside me and watch me masturbate. This could have been you tonight but you made poor decisions." You can do some touching but stop and say "That's all you get for tonight, it would have been more but you forgot a few chores today."
In this scenario, you continually acknowledge that he is locked by doing things to keep his sexual frustration levels high. The sexual frustration will keep his attention focused directly on you. …
