Why are sexual needs so difficult for us to talk about? If you are hungry, you talk about how to satiate your hunger. If you are bored, you talk about exciting activities to do together. There are so many couples who have reached a point of stagnation in their relationship. They've become best friends, and her spark of lust has changed. She no longer looks at him lustfully because the limerence period is over. Many couples look to cheat or build up resentment for their partner.
Men have a deep emotional need to feel validated and this comes in many forms but the biggest form for most men is to know that their partner is sexually satisfied. In the male mind, a sexually satisfied partner is animalistically attracted to him and can't get enough. Guess what, that animalistic attraction is a chemical reaction and it is impossible to sustain with any permanence in a relationship. If you constantly seek it out, you will find yourself hopping from one relationship to the next while never finding a long term emotional bond with a partner.
In your day-to-day life you meet guys whom you find attractive and you may even fantasize about what it would be like to be intimate with. You watch porn, knowing that hung guy with dark hair, chiseled chin and ripped abs is off-limits to you. You think about him while you masturbate and you wonder what he would feel like, intertwined with you. Your husband is nowhere in this fantasy but why should he be? This is YOUR fantasy after all.
In fact, you might be surprised at the fantasies your guy has. The limerence period is far less important to the male sex drive and he still yearns for you in the way you yearned for him at the beginning of your relationship. He wants you intimately and he wants you often. He loves you and he feels a deep need for you to be satisfied. If he knows that intimacy with him isn't crossing your t's and dotting your i's he may even want to watch you with someone to satiate your chemistry.
I'd love to watch her satisfied by another man, watching her physically satisfied is a beautiful thing and she deserves to have her fantasies satisfied. Doing this with my blessing would make me feel like I provided the sexual satisfaction in a round about way. I wish I could tell her but I worry she would think I don't love her if I am willing to share her. The exact opposite is the truth! If did not love and trust her as much as I do, there is no way that I would be willing to share her.
Men can see the sexual attraction diminish in longer term relationships as the bond goes from physical to emotional. The number one fantasy for married men in relationships of 10+ years is to watch their wife with another man. …
