This blog is intended to be a followup to my popular "What is the appeal of a hotwife relationship". While it should read just fine as a standalone blog, I think reading the previous blog will help frame where my perspective is coming from. I'll start by defining a Hotwife relationship as a relationship where the woman is free to play with multiple partners and the man is typically not although sometimes the man is allowed to play. There truly are no rules when it comes to your relationship aside from the rules that you define together.
I am still coming to terms with the word cuckold because of the negative connotation but many hotwife relationships do veer toward a cuckold dynamic but don't let that dissuade you from taking it there. Kev and I find that he really enjoys the space that a cuckold experience puts him mentally. I've learned to enjoy many parts of the cuckold fantasy and it feels real in the moment and extremely empowering.
The hotwife or cuckold fantasy is often brought up by the husband because of the fantasy and the inherent hotness of watching his partner with another person. For many this can and should just stay a fantasy. Here are 10 reasons why the cuckold fantasy can be unhealthy for your relationship. For other relationships namely those with excellent communication, a cuckold or hotwife dynamic can be an enormous boost to the emotional bond. His desire to see you with others can have many motivations but boosting self esteem and sexual self image is usually paramount in the motivation for both partners. His desire to see you desire another and be desired by another may not only be validation of his love for you but one of the strongest ways for him to show you that he puts you first in all things.
We've been playing in this dynamic for a few months now and we've experienced challenges, some of which I've blogged about and some of which we've worked out between ourselves. When he knows that I am communicating with another or perhaps I was with another the night before, he opens doors for me, he is kinder to me, he is a better listener and so much more. We grow comfortable with each other and take one another for granted, knowing that the man I was with last night put his best foot forward motivates my husband to put his best foot forward on a daily basis.
I've been apprehensive about the word cuckold in the past but I think it perfectly defines a man who strives to satisfy his wife by allowing her to experience the affection of others. The line between hotwife and cuckold is very faint at times but the cuckold aspect usually involves some sort of humiliation. The humiliation is absolutely key to the success of this sort of relationship but it isn't for everyone. Humiliation does one very important thing, it moves this relationship from a reality into a world of fantasy. I love to be dominant and Kev loves to be submissive to my desires. Teasing and humiliation only serves to add to the other aspects of our relationship that share this common vein. Without humiliation he struggles to feel important and finds it challenging to feel like he is part of the picture. With a hotwife scenario, the wife goes off on her own and plays however with a cuckold scenario the husband is either present or a very large part of the aftercare. As an example, I had a friend over last weekend for some wonderful BBQ that Kev cooked for us. After eating, I asked both boys to drop their shorts revealing that Kev is of course locked for #locktober. My friend of course knew this and truly enjoyed playing along with my fantasy. I proceeded to explain how I wish I could play with both of them but I didn't want to spoil locktober. A huge amount of cuckolding is theatrical but I'll be damned if I don't get into the theatrics quickly. I don't know if I enjoyed the reactions that I got from teasing Kev or playing with my friend more. "Oh you poor thing, just sit back and watch while I take care of his unlocked cock. I bet you wish yours was unlocked so you could feel these lips on you."
Being a hotwife amounts to one sided consensual non-monogamy but cuckolding takes it a step further and wraps the whole thing into a neat little package. Every experience for us is not a cuckold experience but some are and we greatly enjoy the variety of both types. Some of the experiences involve Kev sleeping on the couch while I play in peace but our connection when I throw in the extra cuckolding effort is second to none. Sometimes he is sitting beside us on the bed and sometimes I send him photos while he is at work. Marriage is work but it is also incredibly fun and including my husband as in integral part of the amazing fantasy lifestyle is key to us both feeling the rewards that this lifestyle has to offer. Being demanding and borderline dominant is a tenet of a cuckold experience. As a self described switch, I want to be dominated and pursued and also dominate but rarely at the same time or within the same encounter. I need to get into a cuckoldress mindset and as a planner, I need to at least have a concept of how I want the evening to play out. Creativity and stretching boundaries are things that you might want to premeditate. Be bold and be shocking, the greater the shock value the more intense the experience for all of you. Make sure that your playmate (boyfriend, bull or whatever name you use for your third) is into the scenario and consider cluing him in on the scenario before you let loose on your poor unsuspecting cuck. The art is making him feel inferior within a fantasy experience that can easily be discussed and enjoyed after the experience is over. Sometimes I can be mean: "Sit in the chair and watch me fuck a real man". Other times I can invoke pity: "Oh you poor thing, I wish you weren't locked so you could enjoy this as much as I am going to. Just another 15 days left of Locktober my love!" Regardless, it is a game that we enjoy together and we are extremely intentional about reversing the fantasy afterwards. We do not live a cuckold lifestyle but we enjoy cuckold fantasies together and there is an enormous distinction between the two. …
