Caged & Confused

Keeping It Real · 2021-11-14T22:27:31Z

I don't know what you would call a part time cage couple, but that is us. My sex drive is a non-constant. One week I may want sex twice, the next week once and the following week not at all. Some times I couldn't be bothered with sex at all. Even if my sex drive is there, some times I want sex and other times I just want to get off so I make quick work of the urges with my vibrator. Him on the other hand, you can set a clock to his mojo. If more than a few days go by, he jokes about the cage and lockup time as he puts it. I know that caging him gives him attention that he is lacking from me in other ways and I feel guilty about simply not having the same drive he does. I like that the cage gives him some sexual excitement and intimacy with me despite my clear difference in drive. Feelings of guilt don't make me feel more interested in sex so I wanted to see how we can expand our use of the cage to make him feel more loved. I really have no understanding or expectations with what to do. I resorted to the internet, this site and others before I sat down and talked to him about it. He was uncomfortable and I asked why? He said that he was ashamed that he found the cage arousing and additionally he wanted it to be something I initiated. Even though I knew this sexy play was arousing, he was anxious and ashamed that it turned him on. I reminded him that I am not a mind reader and I haven't the faintest clue about what I can do to make it rewarding for him. Further, sex is not a shameful thing but it is infinitely complex. Exploring and unraveling our sexuality together is part of our marital agreement and we are both in it for the long haul, together. Here is what we got from our conversation and I hope it helps some of you that are just as confused. He wants me to dictate lockup time. He wants me to tell him to drop what he is doing and go lock himself up. The urgency behind my demand shows him that it is important to me. This means; by extension that he is important to me. He wants me to tease him in his cage. He wants me to walk up and wiggle his cage or grab his cage in one hand, butt in the other and growl. I did this once and it gave him shivers. This isn't how I work but it isn't about how I work. Right? When I am horny but don't want sex, he wants me to allow him to watch. Locked. I did this once and his torturous moans made me feel like I was doing a horrendous thing but come to find out, it was one of his favorite things. He wants me to dress sexy for him and tease him in the bedroom while he is locked. Playfully say things about how we could be having sex if it wasn't for his little lock. He wants me to stop him in the middle of sex and tell him to lock himself while I finish on my own with my vibrator or a dildo. This brought a devilish grin to my face. He craves my comments about his "little guy" or "teenie weenie" or "little man". This isn't cage related but I didn't know how arousing he found the size related comments. His size is fine but the size comments give him a rush of arousal that makes him feel sexy. This seems completely reverse to me so I asked why he didn't get arousal from comments about "big guy" or the like. He said that it didn't feel playful or genuine and didn't have the same effect. There is probably more to unravel here but I wanted to share. Pegging is also a big part of our sex life, he wants me to leave him locked some of the time. Not knowing if he will be locked or unlocked is very arousing. Some of this, I may never do. Why? Because it doesn't feel like me. Some of it I might do once or twice. Admittedly I don't understand the psychology behind the whole thing but if it satisfies him sexually and involves minimal effort from me. Why not? Hell, the dressing up and teasing was quite fun and made me feel sexy in the process. The rest of it was really interesting and I had to pull some of it out of him because he intrinsically just wanted me to do it. Not quite how it works, lover. The confusing part is knowing that he finds these things arousing but in the moment, he protests or complains and that is downright frustrating. Do you or don't you want this? He told me that he protests sometimes because the arousing part is for me to be making him do it. If I ask him he won't say yes because it loses the thrill and excitement. I told him that the complaining needs to stop, if I tell him something once that is it. It isn't fun if it turns into an argument, I'm not going there. If the fun is doing what you are told then do it. The allure for me is being in control and I have come to quite enjoy having the key and lightly teasing with him about it. Wearing his actual key on my necklace and teasing him by jingling it or rubbing it on my chest. Quite the attention grabber for him if I must say so. Until now, the allure for him has been a puzzle that I was supposed to somehow figure out. I finally got a glimpse into what I can do to make him enjoy it and I'll try some new things n...

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Chastity & Orgasm Denial

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djv

Posts: 89

Estimable Member

Posted by: @mrs

We have not tried it yet with him caged.

Why do I feel this is about to happen soon? ?

Posted by: @mrs. LOL I enjoyed the strap-on pleasuring me

KiR….she REALLY enjoyed it ?

Posted : 19/11/2021 1:05 pm

J.S., J.S. and J.S. reacted

J.S.

Posts: 97

Estimable Member

Posted by: @djv

Posted by: @mrs

We have not tried it yet with him caged.

Why do I feel this is about to happen soon? ?

Posted by: @mrs. LOL I enjoyed the strap-on pleasuring me

KiR….she REALLY enjoyed it ?

LOL - well at least you got a preview of what is about to happen 😉

Were you able to cum at all while wearing the strapon but not caged? How much "bigger" is the strapon than you that you can fit inside of it?

Posted : 22/11/2021 6:58 am

djv

Posts: 89

Estimable Member

@j-s cant feel much of anything so no cumming for me and it’s substantially larger

Mrs likes it

Posted : 22/11/2021 7:01 am

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