Quick snapshot of our life, been married for 41 years, I'm an older male but I'm in a great shape, I'm retired, my wife still is not retired. Stressful job and it works out of the house four days a week, I enjoy doing everything to maintain the house and keep things in good working order which I believe provides service for both of us in our marriage.
My wife has always been pretty vanilla, which is fine because you need a balance.
I realize through the years how have been shortchanged on the orgasm/ pleasure ratio that men have.
I've also had a turp surgery where it essentially reduced the size of the prostate. Now I have what's called dry orgasms which means I do not ejaculate and the sensation of ejaculation is pretty much gone.
Therefore all my pleasure. I derive from just getting to the brink of getting turned on/ edged and that is my dopamine kick.
I am self-locked. I use a cellmate pro Bluetooth lock, I locked myself up so I don't masturbate and let her know she controls all orgasms, somehow she missed the boat That's my orgasms, not hers?
I have not Masturbated for almost 4 months now. What I'm trying to find here is a common ground between me and my wife. She knows that I love and her sex drive has gone kind of downhill because she thinks that it's about us both being a little bit older. We are in really good physical shape and there's no reason you can't continue having fantastic sex throughout the remainder of our lives in my opinion.
I'm 63. She's 59. So what we're trying to figure out is I need to get her sex drive back in the regular thing and then we're going to see how this goes. But I'd like to get some input from women or couples on how can we improve this dynamic? How can I convince her but not manipulate her into jumping on board?
Believe it or not I'm in the same situation, Male 66, Female 62. I'm retired, take care of everything at the house and she works 5 day a week. I've been into chastity play for about 10 years now (self-Locking) and can't get my wife to even consider joining me full time. Sexually I'm always horny but can't get and maintain a useable erection. I have tried both Cialis and Viagra, but both have negative side effects. We were into swinging a number of years ago and suggested we get back into it but me being not being able to perform would just be a chastity cuckold. We were discussing it but then it just fizzled out. She knows I self-lock and I do not hide that I am wearing a chastity device. I think her problem is that she is worried that someone might find out. Being in our 60's who cares.
55 married 30+. I just recently got my wife to be a keyholder , but she definitely thought it was weird. But 7 weeks in and 3/4 of loctober she has a different outlook. She wanted penetration and unlocked me. No orgasm for me not until November 14. My junk needed a couple of days out also. We have piv sex twice and then locked back up last night. She said she likes me in the cage better and she is very good about teasing my locked cock every day.
it’s been great but I really had to ask her very openly about being my keyholder. And confess to masturbating 20 times a month
Well that's 50/50 so that's one couple that is all in at least in the beginning, and another couple that no just don't want anything to do with it.
I cannot help but wonder is it a societal thing, some biblical premise, upbringing of shame about sex?
What is it about a lot of women that just seems like they don't want to participate on the claim that it makes one uncomfortable.
The expectation is from each of the male or female to provide sex biblically and sometimes you might be doing things that are slightly uncomfortable to make pleasure for the other person. And as a man we're expected to slow down because you do? Thoughts on that? And that's amazing about the older couple and where they're at and kind of where me and my wife are at.
Thank you so much for the input and let's keep this rolling!!
Does anybody know of somebody that is slightly trustworthy that likes doing a little bit of key holding cuz at least it would simulate being locked up by someone 🙂 if anyone has any info let me know. Thank you so much for all the replies
I have a cellmate pro 3 Bluetooth enabled timed chassis cage. I use the app quiu sometimes I use referendums of random people to vote for how many minutes extra I can be locked up just to give me a cheap thrill and anybody else that knows anything about that. I go by the same name there that I do here visitors are allowed to vote. I'm just not sure how the link works on that. Anyway you can go look and check it out. Q u iu
Timed locks do give me a thrill for sure!!
Well she made me roll the dice again. November 17 now before a chance at orgasm
Super awesome! Welcome to my world!
I am 63 and my wife is 65. We were both married to others for more than 25 years in very sexually unsatisfying relationships. I could write a book about the transformation (much of it laid out on “the Journey” forum in the “My journey has been accelerating”). The game changer was coming to the agreement that ALL sex, including my orgasms, is for her pleasure. She went from having less than 5 orgasms total in 25 years during her last marriage to having an average of almost 35 per month since we started our FLR almost 4 years ago. I will be allowed 5 this month. Even if you don’t count her locking me up in chastity (which I do consider sexual activity), we have sex 2 to 3 times per week. Last week we has sex 8 times.
I think that's really great! I'd like to get some female perspective, maybe from your wife or from you as a couple. How do you go about convincing your significant other that this is what you really want?
I've had a turp surgery, which if you don't know what that is, that's an enlarged prostate, not cancer.
It did reduce to size of the prostate which there's very little of it left. In essence, I have dry orgasms, which has had a major metal effect on me.
And I've realized that through Chastity, I can feel much more sensation because the nerves are constantly active.
That being in Chastity is considered as sexual event?
Could you elaborate on that as a couple and let me know? My wife is in Germany right now and I do a lot of self-locking, I just like to get a little bit of input and see where I can do to not manipulate but convince her.
Thank you so much
I will be allowed 5 this month.
Enjoy it, my friend. If I have five total for the year, it will be unusual. So far, I am at 3 for 2025. Her orgasms are countless and happen merely because she wants to orgasm. No other reason is needed. If I've behaved well enough, she'll allow me to 'assist' with her orgasms. Otherwise, I am required to merely witness. I beg for an orgasm each time, because she loves to see me beg for one. If she decides I will orgasm, I beg to be denied. Sounds awful. It's not. It's amazing. I have been trained to love the feeling of constant arousal more than the fleeting seconds of an orgasm ... and we both couldn't be happier.
It's actually a super awesome place to be, I think they call that a subspace right where you're just just actually in unequal playing field with each other. Not necessarily her being female. Lead one correct. I look at it like the amount of orgasms I used to have when I was younger were far exceeded my wife and now it's kind of payback time or instead of saying payback time time to level the playing field.
That's probably the better way to put it anyway, that's super awesome. Wow! How does she participate on a day-to-day interaction?
Are you getting edged a lot?
Are you getting a lot of skin contact?
Sensory areas like the balls?
I could go on for longer but I think you get the idea. Please elaborate
Elkeshusband
Yes I am very interested in the path your on.
I do get edged, but not as much as I would like. Then again, it isn't about me so she edges me when she wants and not because I ask. I'm not allowed to ask for sex.
Yes, I get plenty of skin contact. We both sleep naked (me in a cage) and she allows my hands (and sometimes my mouth) to roam her naked body.
She will play with my cage and balls. I'm always (mostly) caged, so yes, she plays with my balls, caged cock and boy hole. Again, not as much as I'd like (I'd like it 24/7), but she does pay attention to me, on her terms.
That is absolutely awesome. Sounds balanced to me, thank you so much!