I’ve read some stuff on this site from time to time but never had much cause to ask a question until now. I’m married and very happy in a fun, teasing flm I have with my husband.
Though it was originally his desire, I greatly enjoy the empowering nature of it and the fun gender power interplay it engenders within our marriage. We both have quite senior positions in our careers and enjoy a competitive spirit between us. We both enjoy a sort of ‘battle of the sexes’ rivalry where we think up games with humiliating forfeits. The games are often stacked in my favor to make hubby feel the pressure of trying to winning fairly in an 'unfair' female-led home. Of course I usually end up winning, acting smugly triumphant and hubby usually ends naked and blushing, forced to do the chores yet again.
It was inevitable at some point we’d try out a chastity cage, a desire of my hubby. This has been going relatively well, with it creating more opportunities to tease him and make his release subject to some sort of game.
Recently he got very competitive in a card game as he’d been caged for 5 days (his longest yet) and I kept suggesting we up the stakes and he was too prideful to say no. We (I) decided that if he won, he’d get his release. If he lost, it was an entire extra week locked up. I noted he looked genuinely scared for once. Of course I’d stacked the deck in my favor, and won. I was very taunting and mocking in my victory and he had a rush of anger and said it wasn’t fair and demanded to be released. Often he plays the whiny brat to get a reaction from me but this was genuine.
I was a bit shocked but held firm. The next day he seemed very resentful and brooding. And this turned into sulking for a few days, scowling when told to do chores.
But now something has changed, it’s been the 5 + 4 days, so 3 left, and the sulking has stopped along with the usual faux bravado. He seems super submissive now, not even trying to dispute things. There’s one chore I usually do, cleaning the bathroom as he hates it, and I decided to test his submissive state by sternly and coldly telling him to clean the bathroom, naked. And he complied without even a scowl. I’ll admit seeing him nude, caged, obediently scrubbing on his knees was a thrill for me and I couldn’t resist gloating and saying in future he’d be doing the cleaning of the bathroom. All. The. Time. And he just meekly agreed.
So my question is, is there a point in chastity when a guy who usually enjoys pushing back a bit, just meekly surrenders like accepting it as some kind of defeat? Is there a psychological effect when all male resistance just collapses?
I’m enjoying his deeper submission but I wonder if I’ll get bored of it and miss his macho and ultimately hopeless prideful pushback. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to needle him a little to see if I can prompt a response? Something unfair that sparks the funny, bratty whining that amuses me.
Il me semble que le port prolongé de la Cage passe par 4 ou 5 étapes, la colère, la négociation, la dépression et l'acceptation, ou il n'y a plus aucune résistance, juste de la dévotion, de la soumission un arrêt de toute forme de revendications
So my question is, is there a point in chastity when a guy who usually enjoys pushing back a bit, just meekly surrenders like accepting it as some kind of defeat? Is there a psychological effect when all male resistance just collapses?
Hi Athena, and welcome to our little party. First, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your well-thought-out, lucid post. It is easy to understand and a pleasure to read. The way you describe your husband and you sounds very similar to who my Wife and I are. For example, we both hold Sr. Executive positions in the company that I own, and she enjoys requiring me to be nude and caged when we are alone in the house.
We're (men) all different, of course, but for me/us, there indeed was a point where there was a surrender. Not necessarily a "meek" surrender, but a surrender, nonetheless. It wasn't any sort of defeat or feeling of failure, but rather a realization of the effect the cage was having on both of us. For me, I began to relish being in my cage. It, being a constant reminder and symbol of our relationship dynamic, provided constant comfort in the knowledge of my devotion and submission to my beloved Wife during the routine of my days and nights when we weren't together. As such, we evolved from using a cage only as a method of punishment in the early days of our dynamic (over 16 years now) to where we are now. Now, I am caged 24/7/365 (mostly), and except for very rare occasions, my orgasms (which are rare in and of themselves) are exclusively limited to only when I am caged, which makes my orgasms either ruined orgasms or prostate-stimulation-induced orgasms. All while being caged. That being said, I am mostly denied orgasms in general.
It may sound awful, but it isn't. In fact, it's fantastic. We/I are having the best sex we have ever had in our time together (28 years), and we've had some pretty amazing sex during that time, before and since becoming a Wife-Led-Marriage.
I’m enjoying his deeper submission but I wonder if I’ll get bored of it and miss his macho and ultimately hopeless prideful pushback. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to needle him a little to see if I can prompt a response?
You sound just like my wife. She made it very clear that she would not accept any less manliness, macho, or alpha from our dynamic than how I was when she met me, when we got married, and before entering into our WLM. That's the man she fell in love with and wants to continue to be, even though I am her slave husband. Her making her feelings known early on in this regard was very helpful, and frankly, that's how I want to be in all aspects of my life outside our beautiful dynamic. I have been known to get punished for failing to show enough alpha characteristics in a given moment and similarly for not being submissive enough in any given moment. A husband learns (evolves) as time goes on.
So my question is, is there a point in chastity when a guy who usually enjoys pushing back a bit, just meekly surrenders like accepting it as some kind of defeat? Is there a psychological effect when all male resistance just collapses?
Hi Athena, and welcome to our little party. First, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your well-thought-out, lucid post. It is easy to understand and a pleasure to read. The way you describe your husband and you sounds very similar to who my Wife and I are. For example, we both hold Sr. Executive positions in the company that I own, and she enjoys requiring me to be nude and caged when we are alone in the house.
We're (men) all different, of course, but for me/us, there indeed was a point where there was a surrender. Not necessarily a "meek" surrender, but a surrender, nonetheless. It wasn't any sort of defeat or feeling of failure, but rather a realization of the effect the cage was having on both of us. For me, I began to relish being in my cage. It, being a constant reminder and symbol of our relationship dynamic, provided constant comfort in the knowledge of my devotion and submission to my beloved Wife during the routine of my days and nights when we weren't together. As such, we evolved from using a cage only as a method of punishment in the early days of our dynamic (over 16 years now) to where we are now. Now, I am caged 24/7/365 (mostly), and except for very rare occasions, my orgasms (which are rare in and of themselves) are exclusively limited to only when I am caged, which makes my orgasms either ruined orgasms or prostate-stimulation-induced orgasms. All while being caged. That being said, I am mostly denied orgasms in general.
It may sound awful, but it isn't. In fact, it's fantastic. We/I are having the best sex we have ever had in our time together (28 years), and we've had some pretty amazing sex during that time, before and since becoming a Wife-Led-Marriage.
I’m enjoying his deeper submission but I wonder if I’ll get bored of it and miss his macho and ultimately hopeless prideful pushback. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to needle him a little to see if I can prompt a response?
You sound just like my wife. She made it very clear that she would not accept any less manliness, macho, or alpha from our dynamic than how I was when she met me, when we got married, and before entering into our WLM. That's the man she fell in love with and wants to continue to be, even though I am her slave husband. Her making her feelings known early on in this regard was very helpful, and frankly, that's how I want to be in all aspects of my life outside our beautiful dynamic. I have been known to get punished for failing to show enough alpha characteristics in a given moment and similarly for not being submissive enough in any given moment. A husband learns (evolves) as time goes on.
Bonjour, te serait il possible d'approfondir les deux derniers points cités , quand tu précises,
J'ai été puni :
pour ne pas avoir montré suffisamment de qualités alpha à un moment donné, et de même pour ne pas avoir été assez soumis à un moment donné.
Et aussi :
Elle m'a clairement fait comprendre qu'elle n'accepterait aucun comportement moins viril, macho ou alpha dans notre relation que celui que j'étais quand elle m'a rencontré, quand nous nous sommes mariés et avant d'entrer dans notre relation de couple. C'est l'homme dont elle est tombée amoureuse et qu'elle veut continuer à être, même si je suis son mari esclave.
De même explique ça aussi :
ce qui fait de mes orgasmes soit des orgasmes gâchés, soit des orgasmes provoqués par la stimulation prostatique. Tout cela en étant enfermé. Ceci dit, je suis généralement privé d'orgasmes.
On en vient à ma question principale :
Le fait d'avoir capitulé, de t'être soumis, d'avoir accepté sa souveraineté sexuelle, a t'il conduit ta femme à te faire accepter, son désir de relation sexuelle et émotionnelle, avec des personnes étrangères à votre relation de mariage, pour assouvir ses besoins sexuels primaires de soumission aux désir sexuel de ses dominants , comme quelque chose de libérateur, pulsionnel, l'accès à une autonomie sexuelle, la nouveauté, sans résistance, augmentant sa confiance en elle, quand elle n'accepte plus de se soumettre à Toi, dans une sexualité réactive, prévisible, emprunte, d'un sentiments de dette sexuelle, d'obligation conjugal avec un Mari, qu'elle aime punir, soumettre, diriger, pour se sentir Libre, puissante, vivante et soutenue en sécurité avec Lui.
L'utilisation de la Cage dans un couple, pourquoi, quel est le but recherché par l'épouse, une envie de gagner une liberté de s'épanouir en dehors de son mariage, tout en gardant l'époux en haleine, en obtenant sa redition, son accord du au fait d'être maintenu sur de longues périodes enfermé.
Comment en arrive t'on à un enfermement permanent et pourquoi ?
Le fait d'accepter de tester une première fois la Cage, scelle t'il l'orientation de la relation à la sexualité de l'épouse avec son époux ?
Merci pour tes et vos réponses à tous les deux, vos buts, ce que vous en tirez, comment vous le vivez, tout ce qui peut m'amener à une compréhension profonde de l'évolution de vos mariages.
Ok, I'll try my best to answer/reply to each question. I had to Google translate your comment. For the benefit of other non-French speaking people here, this is your comment translated:
Hello, would you be able to elaborate on the last two points mentioned, when you specify: I was punished: for not showing enough alpha qualities at a given moment, and similarly for not being submissive enough at a given moment. And also: She made it clear to me that she would not accept any behavior less virile, macho, or alpha in our relationship than I was when she met me, when we got married, and before we entered into our relationship.This is the man she fell in love with and wants to continue being, even though I am her slave husband. Instead of trying to read your mind and just prattle on more about what as said, I'll ask you to be specific in what you'd like to understand better, and ask that as a question.
This also explains this: which makes my orgasms either ruined orgasms or orgasms caused by prostate stimulation.All this while being locked up.That said, I am generally deprived of orgasms. This brings me to my main question: Did your wife's surrender, her submission, her acceptance of her sexual sovereignty lead you to accept her desire for sexual and emotional relationships with people outside your marriage, to satisfy her primary sexual needs of submission to the sexual desires of her dominant partners? This is liberating, impulsive, and gives her access to sexual autonomy, novelty, without resistance, and increases her self-confidence. When she no longer accepts submitting to you, in a reactive, predictable sexuality, imbued with a sense of sexual debt, of marital obligation to a husband whom she loves to punish, subjugate, and direct, in order to feel free, powerful, alive, and supported in safety with Him? I'm a bit confused by this. My Wife didn't surrender or become submissive to me. I did to her. Also, she does not have a desire for "sexual and emotional relationships with people outside" the marriage, or seek "dominant partners".
The use of the Cage in a couple: why? What is the wife's goal? A desire to gain the freedom to flourish outside of her marriage, while keeping the husband on tenterhooks, obtaining his surrender, his agreement to being kept locked up for long periods. How does one arrive at permanent confinement, and why? Why? Because she likes how it looks on me and she loves the symbolism of what it means. There is no desire to "gain freedom" to go outside of the marriage. We (she) arrived at the decision for permanent and constant confinement (mostly) as a convenience default. It's easier for her to manage my confinement by having a default of it will always be required to be on, unless she says otherwise, or if I ask for and receive permission to remove it. No matter what, I must have permission for her to remove it.
Does agreeing to try the Cage for the first time seal the direction of the wife's relationship with her husband regarding sexuality? No. There was no desired direction when the decision was made. She just liked it.
Thank you both for your answers: your goals, what you learn from it, how you experience it, anything that can lead me to a deeper understanding of the evolution of your marriages.
I love the idea of everything going on here. Me and my wife have been married for 40 years. She's currently out of the country until the 8th of November and I'm practicing a little bit more long-term chastity wearing while she's gone. It's a self-locking thing and I do enjoy it, I would like to have another human involved in it. My wife knows that I self lock and she even sees the advantage out of it so I'm continuing to do it because for one it feels really good and number two. It makes my big head make the decisions instead of my little head
En vous encageant, l'homme dont elle est tombée amoureuse, ne Lui manque pas ? Et le Sexe, sans Cage, elle ne s'y intéresse plus, pourquoi ?
"j'ai été puni pour ne pas avoir montré suffisamment de qualités alpha à un moment donné, et de même pour ne pas avoir été suffisamment soumis à un moment donné."
Le moins Alpha, Macho, à moment donné, puis j'ai été puni pour cela ?
Among all these testosterone-fueled posts, yours really resonated with me. This is a problem many women have in FemaleLED relationships, where previously you had a versatile man who could demonstrate his masculinity and still be emotional and vulnerable at times.
When cage is used, it's as if the brain is rewired, which can lead to such consequences as devotion, worship, adoration, and absolute submissiveness to his wife. Such a man even stops arguing with her.
Unfortunately or fortunately, women aren't so simple, and they periodically need emotions, including emotions from a masculine husband who takes what he needs at any moment.
A dissonance arises. And this can lead to cuckold relationships, which the blog author often writes about, where a woman receives some emotions from one man and some from another, depending on her needs. My wife and I are very much against such relationships, as we believe that our marriage, which is based more on equality, could be destroyed by them. (By the way, Emma, I miss your posts about chastity, denial, and control. Polygamy is a bit much right now, IMHO.)
So, talking to each other, we came to the conclusion that she can manipulate my emotions in the right direction. Plus, she also has cyclical mood swings, and we need to adapt to each other. Sometimes with inertia and a bit of a delay, but it's possible. Let me explain...
She likes how I become in the cage. She says it's some kind of magic, but it works. She likes feeling desirable and confident all the time. But it can be hard and bland, and it gets boring sometimes. It's important for her to know that there's still brutality, boldness, and drive within me. So when she wants a slightly more exciting husband, she takes off the cage, we have sex, I cum, and within 2-3 days she gets the macho man she needs. As soon as she tires of the macho man, she does everything she can to put the cage back on. The only place where a mismatch can occur is where emotions change; it doesn't happen in minute; it takes several days, one way or the other.
To become an assertive macho, you need to have an orgasm and wait for your testosterone levels to rise, which takes 2-3 days. To get a submissive and loving husband, you need to wait another 7 days over. In my 30s I usually start to feel best emotions after 7-8 days and there I start to priority her needs above mine. And thats says that your example 5+4 is only start of journey and fun. You need to plan roughly; you women know how to do that.
You're just starting out, but judging by your personality, you need to try what I described above. And I highly recommend experimenting with periods of abstinence in the cage while still arousing him sexually. You can tell him, "I want a real man who will take me even when locked up" (for sex, he still has sex toys, a strap-on, his hands, and his tongue. For conversation, just his tongue!). By giving him a new challenge, you can control this too. When we're aroused, we don't give up! The key is arousal.
And the cage is a tool that you, as a woman, must use for the benefit of both of you. - An aroused man in a cage adores, loves, cares for, courts, is ready to satisfy sexually, and will expect nothing in return. - An aroused man without a cage is macho, assertive, and bold. - A unaroused man in a cage is submissive, sad and maybe melancholic. - A unaroused man without a cage - well, that simply shouldn't happen in a happy relationship))
And avoid the first few days after orgasm, they're predictably crap. But no orgasm at all may not suitable for your relationship.
By caging yourself, the man she fell in love with, doesn't she miss him? And sex, without a cage, she no longer cares about it, why?
"I was punished for not showing enough alpha qualities at a certain point, and likewise for not being submissive enough at a certain point."
The least alpha, macho, at a certain point, then I was punished for that?
I'm the same man she fell in love with, even when wearing the cage. Just because I am wearing the cage doesn't mean I'm any less of the man she fell in love, it's just that my penis is locked as a symbol and constant reminder of my devotion to her. She's the boss and can remove it any time she wants, for any reason she wants, without having to explain or justify a reason.
My point about getting spanked for being too alpha, or not alpha enough, was meant to illustrate that it her desire and expectation that who I am will not change, and that she expects me to be able to, the best that I can, read and understand instinctively the appropriate amount of 'alpha' I need to be for her at any given moment. There are times when she wants me to temporarily be the Dominant one and ravage her, knowing full well, of course, that she ultimately is in charge.
I’ve read some stuff on this site from time to time but never had much cause to ask a question until now. I’m married and very happy in a fun, teasing flm I have with my husband.
Though it was originally his desire, I greatly enjoy the empowering nature of it and the fun gender power interplay it engenders within our marriage. We both have quite senior positions in our careers and enjoy a competitive spirit between us. We both enjoy a sort of ‘battle of the sexes’ rivalry where we think up games with humiliating forfeits. The games are often stacked in my favor to make hubby feel the pressure of trying to winning fairly in an 'unfair' female-led home. Of course I usually end up winning, acting smugly triumphant and hubby usually ends naked and blushing, forced to do the chores yet again.
It was inevitable at some point we’d try out a chastity cage, a desire of my hubby. This has been going relatively well, with it creating more opportunities to tease him and make his release subject to some sort of game.
Recently he got very competitive in a card game as he’d been caged for 5 days (his longest yet) and I kept suggesting we up the stakes and he was too prideful to say no. We (I) decided that if he won, he’d get his release. If he lost, it was an entire extra week locked up. I noted he looked genuinely scared for once. Of course I’d stacked the deck in my favor, and won. I was very taunting and mocking in my victory and he had a rush of anger and said it wasn’t fair and demanded to be released. Often he plays the whiny brat to get a reaction from me but this was genuine.
I was a bit shocked but held firm. The next day he seemed very resentful and brooding. And this turned into sulking for a few days, scowling when told to do chores.
But now something has changed, it’s been the 5 + 4 days, so 3 left, and the sulking has stopped along with the usual faux bravado. He seems super submissive now, not even trying to dispute things. There’s one chore I usually do, cleaning the bathroom as he hates it, and I decided to test his submissive state by sternly and coldly telling him to clean the bathroom, naked. And he complied without even a scowl. I’ll admit seeing him nude, caged, obediently scrubbing on his knees was a thrill for me and I couldn’t resist gloating and saying in future he’d be doing the cleaning of the bathroom. All. The. Time. And he just meekly agreed.
So my question is, is there a point in chastity when a guy who usually enjoys pushing back a bit, just meekly surrenders like accepting it as some kind of defeat? Is there a psychological effect when all male resistance just collapses?
I’m enjoying his deeper submission but I wonder if I’ll get bored of it and miss his macho and ultimately hopeless prideful pushback. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of how to needle him a little to see if I can prompt a response? Something unfair that sparks the funny, bratty whining that amuses me.
Thanks for any advice in advance!
Comment peut-on faire pour parler de compétition, si il ne peut jamais gagner ?
En trucquant et en trichant systématiquement pour l'emporter, c'est plus un jeu de compétition !
Il va finir soumis, sans esprit de compétition avec le sentiment d'être un looser !
Il finira soumis à son travail et perdre sa place de dirigeant pour être dominé, retrogradé, ou mis au placard.
Expliquez-nous si il est entendu entre vous que la tricherie de l'épouse est désiré par le mari ?
Among all these testosterone-fueled posts, yours really resonated with me. This is a problem many women have in FemaleLED relationships, where previously you had a versatile man who could demonstrate his masculinity and still be emotional and vulnerable at times.
When cage is used, it's as if the brain is rewired, which can lead to such consequences as devotion, worship, adoration, and absolute submissiveness to his wife. Such a man even stops arguing with her.
Unfortunately or fortunately, women aren't so simple, and they periodically need emotions, including emotions from a masculine husband who takes what he needs at any moment.
A dissonance arises. And this can lead to cuckold relationships, which the blog author often writes about, where a woman receives some emotions from one man and some from another, depending on her needs. My wife and I are very much against such relationships, as we believe that our marriage, which is based more on equality, could be destroyed by them. (By the way, Emma, I miss your posts about chastity, denial, and control. Polygamy is a bit much right now, IMHO.)
So, talking to each other, we came to the conclusion that she can manipulate my emotions in the right direction. Plus, she also has cyclical mood swings, and we need to adapt to each other. Sometimes with inertia and a bit of a delay, but it's possible. Let me explain...
She likes how I become in the cage. She says it's some kind of magic, but it works. She likes feeling desirable and confident all the time. But it can be hard and bland, and it gets boring sometimes. It's important for her to know that there's still brutality, boldness, and drive within me. So when she wants a slightly more exciting husband, she takes off the cage, we have sex, I cum, and within 2-3 days she gets the macho man she needs. As soon as she tires of the macho man, she does everything she can to put the cage back on. The only place where a mismatch can occur is where emotions change; it doesn't happen in minute; it takes several days, one way or the other.
To become an assertive macho, you need to have an orgasm and wait for your testosterone levels to rise, which takes 2-3 days. To get a submissive and loving husband, you need to wait another 7 days over. In my 30s I usually start to feel best emotions after 7-8 days and there I start to priority her needs above mine. And thats says that your example 5+4 is only start of journey and fun. You need to plan roughly; you women know how to do that.
You're just starting out, but judging by your personality, you need to try what I described above. And I highly recommend experimenting with periods of abstinence in the cage while still arousing him sexually. You can tell him, "I want a real man who will take me even when locked up" (for sex, he still has sex toys, a strap-on, his hands, and his tongue. For conversation, just his tongue!). By giving him a new challenge, you can control this too. When we're aroused, we don't give up! The key is arousal.
And the cage is a tool that you, as a woman, must use for the benefit of both of you. - An aroused man in a cage adores, loves, cares for, courts, is ready to satisfy sexually, and will expect nothing in return. - An aroused man without a cage is macho, assertive, and bold. - A unaroused man in a cage is submissive, sad and maybe melancholic. - A unaroused man without a cage - well, that simply shouldn't happen in a happy relationship))
And avoid the first few days after orgasm, they're predictably crap. But no orgasm at all may not suitable for your relationship.
Good luck.
This btw, is the knowledge I wanted. Well done this man.
Posted : 09/11/2025 4:26 pm
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