Hey there.
I came across this site recently after seeking some advice and was impressed with the quality of articles exploring all sorts of questions, often from different perspectives.
I’d say I’m a career woman and my progression is very important to me. I haven’t had much success with dating and trying to look my best has been a bit of a struggle.
Three months back was my first date with a younger man, very handsome. It turned out he is a ‘butler in the buff’ as well as a few other stripping gigs, and some dance tutoring. He explained this often made relationships difficult as his girlfriend’s get jealous.
Tbh I thought I sided with the previous ladies and couldn’t see how my self-confidence would manage, but we saw each other a few more times and found it very easy to chat and laugh and enjoyed each others company.
So about a month in we started dating what you could say 'properly' as a couple. I noticed he’d try to mitigate my self-confidence concerns about his work by praising and adoring myself and my success. He’d joke about how I wore suits to work while he’d be stripped down to a thong and the future was female.
The feminist/adoring vibe he brings I found very empowering and I became more confident and assertive with him. I sensed he wanted me to have the power in the relationship and he’d make a show of doing domestic things for me. He loved hearing about any time I put down a male rival at work too.
He opened up more about his enjoyment for his work, stripping off, being objectified. He showed me a website (cfnm) and said he discovered this in his formative years. In private I looked into this more and enjoyed the stories of men being humbled, often by clever, career women. A lot of these stories depicted men doing chores and deferring to the woman.
So partially to see if it pleased him (and partially my own interest) I started being more mischievous with him, asserting myself over him. Like once he was late back from a butler in the buff event. I chided him, acted furious and demand he remove all his clothes. I tried spanking him over my knee and scorning him for showing off his ‘pathetic little willy’ while it was trapped between my thighs, and I felt it get hard.
He really responded well to this humiliation play and I found it a thrill too. I also love that he admires my business success and he doesn’t feel threatened by it, it even turns him on that I can still be in my business clothes and tell him (in just a thong) to do chores around my house.
But it’s still early days and so I’ve joined here to learn and read more and perhaps pick up some more ideas to keep it exciting!
My mum and sister still act surprised he’s my boyfriend (very patronising) but sometimes I do worry that he’s so handsome that he’ll be stolen away from me, so I think flr and this kind of lifestyle would suit us best. And I want to be more unapologetic in making that decision for us as I think he’s indicated plenty that he would value that.
I would love any advice, male or female! Actually particularly male if you can put yourself in his shoes (not that he gets to wear them often lol).
What a very fortunate man .. he should know that... try introducing chastity play .. that should peak him
What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing. My advice, since you asked, is always to maintain your inner confidence and let it guide your behavior in your relationship. Humiliation is a tricky thing, and it's my belief that once a line is crossed, it has great potential for permanent damage to his mindset and the relationship.
I'm the breadwinner. I own my own business and am responsible for approximately 130 people, so high-level leadership is essential in my life. At home, in her presence, when we are alone, and certainly in the bedroom, I am her loyal and devoted slave. It's a very loving relationship, and there is no cuckolding or real humiliation, because she doesn't want any of that, even though it is her prerogative, because it is not a hard limit.
All that said, there are and have been times when she struggles with her role as the dominant leader of our marriage. Mostly because she is the sweetest fucking woman you'd ever meet and this particular leadership role is foreign to her. She worries about being selfish. We often talk about how her being selfish and ONLY being concerned with what she wants, sexually or otherwise, is the precise thing that turns me on as her submissive husband.
Long story short, continue to be confident and demonstrate often who is in charge.
Thanks for the thoughts @subhubphx ! Could you elaborate on the line being crossed comment? I'm not sure I fully understand.
A line being crossed in humiliation is when actual emotional damage has occurred. Humiliation is a relative thing. Having your orgasms controlled by your wife/gf, receiving spankings from your wife/gf, wearing a cage, required to be nude at all times in the home alone, being required to wear a butt plug, or panties, or both to the office, etc., etc., are arguably humiliating things. IMHO, those aren't humiliating things but rather things that my Mistress Wife likes, but still arguably humiliating. All of these and similar things are one thing. Being told you aren't worthy as a man or lover, having your wife fuck other men, having that other man put his cock in your mouth or ass ... is quite another.
If I was in your boyfriend’s shoes and I had trouble staying in a relationship because of the job I do. Finding women who likes me personally and has a strong confident attitude that my job doesn’t threaten her. I would do everything in my power to please her and keep her close. I wouldn’t want to lose her to someone guy in a suit. If I was you I would talk to your boyfriend and see if he is interested in type of relationship. Show him Emma’s blog. Let him see what you are looking into. Like what Emma said’s communicate, communicate, communicate. Just be honest with him and tell him this interests you .
Hmmm 🤔 I saw something that I know I have seen before..... It might be your lack of fear in him being a stripper.... Having known one or two mostly female strippers they always get pissed off that people are intimated by them ..... In a way you being Dom showed him you see him as a human not just a sex object......
Just my two cents wishing nothing but the best for you two 😎
If I was in your boyfriend’s shoes and I had trouble staying in a relationship because of the job I do. Finding women who likes me personally and has a strong confident attitude that my job doesn’t threaten her. I would do everything in my power to please her and keep her close. I wouldn’t want to lose her to someone guy in a suit. If I was you I would talk to your boyfriend and see if he is interested in type of relationship. Show him Emma’s blog. Let him see what you are looking into. Like what Emma said’s communicate, communicate, communicate. Just be honest with him and tell him this interests you .
Any particular blogs of Emma you suggest I show him?
You can show him today’s blog post. How strong and confident women are the best partners. Show him some of the blog posts about how female led relationships are becoming the norm.
We can all see the wheels turning in your head Inquisitive_Kitten. You are a very smart woman. If you want it, make it happen. Whole bunch of people here are rooting for you.
Thanks Michael! I'm definitely pushing at an open door here. The early forays we've had into flr dynamics he responded to very well.
Keep us updated on your progress. We are all interested how these relationships get started and progress.
Hello @inquisitive_kitten,
What a delicious situation. It sounds like he is eager to please and in need of a strong dominant female in his live. And young, virile, impressionable, sexy.... you hit the jackpot.
I would start with this article:
https://evolvingyourman.com/2025/04/11/female-led-relationship-questions/
And run through those questions with him.
I also find a useful way to do questioning, during quiet moments laying together, to gently caress his penis... not rigorous or too arousing, just enough so that it is chubby.
Then use it as a lie detector or a dogs tail. See the reactions as he answers. When his words dont match his penis reaction, you likely have a wonderful tool to work with and tease. A boundary to explore in the future. I would not recommend pushing it at the moment. Grab it like a gem to bring up again at a later date.
After he has answered the questions and you have a better sense of what his buttons are, then it is a matter of matching the buttons with your wishes and desires for the ideal relationship with him. Some methods are carrots, some are sticks. The judicious use of each will help. I also find that punishments should be consistent and measured for "wrong behavior". Rewards should be on a varied random occurrence (ala the superstitious pigeon experiment). Feel free to dm me if i can be of any assistance or service to you.
Good luck with your journey.
Great suggestion, thanks @nhiofnangang! We've touched on some of those so I may reconfigure the questions slightly but I love the idea of using his penis as an indicator! Will definitely work out something and report back.