My wife met a guy in person for a date. The first time she’s done this! She met him online a long time ago and they get on really well. They did a bit of sexting for a while and then met on camera, and things developed there. They connect periodically over a very long time. He was a big factor in helping her gain more sexual confidence and enjoy the art of play. She progressed up dildo sizes because of him. She struggles with vaginismus, which is painful sex or being so tight it’s painful. Treatment is using different dildo sizes and getting more comfortable with the stretch. I mention this because I think this led to a bit of a fetish or desire to push her limits and explore something bigger. Progressing up the sizes has given her confidence and makes her feel more feminine and likely many other things. My wife can explain more when she posts maybe. 

So it got to the point in our relationship where the denial from the sexual issues led to a bit of a desire for more denial. It’s like I took the pain and eroticised it and we both started playing with the denial aspect in different ways and has become a big part of our play. 

All of this, over time, led us to both agree that we need to take the next big step. My wife was ready to test her progress and meet with another guy and see how it goes. Seeing if someone can do a better job and give her pleasure rather than pain became part of our role play and created a lot of intense sexual tension and release for both of us... it’s been a long road to get here, and we didn’t plan for our sex life and play to go in this direction, but it felt oddly quite natural by this point. 

So my wife wanted someone she felt comfortable with and was thinking about this one guy (from online) more than I realised. We talked about me being there or doing a threesome kind of thing, but she had her own chemistry and private connection with this guy and felt it would’ve too awkward if I was there on this occasion. But maybe in the future I could be around. The message was clear, she wants her own space to explore something new and separate from what we have. 

So my wife agreed to meet him just for drinks to test their chemistry in person. We were both so nervous we couldn’t sit still for days after she made the arrangements. 

Although she said it’s just drinks, we did agree that it can go as far as she felt comfortable and it’s all up to her. I reassured her that she has my backing as long as she is safe and makes the decisions that she wants. 

She was waxed, showered and wore some new lingerie and a little black dress she’s been dying to wear for a while. Then she left to meet him. So I knew there was a strong possibility it could end up being more than just drinks. A lot of different emotions and thoughts flooded my mind at this point and I couldn’t eat, sit down or focus for most of the night, so I had to go out and see friends to get distracted. 

I got a message letting me know she was with him, safe and excited. She didn’t want too many messages back and forth, so we agreed to check in when she was ready. 

Hours passed and I was back home after being with friends and still no message... it was 11pm and I had a feeling that this could be more than drinks and felt excited and nervous. My mind was hyper focused on all the possibilities, and it was like a drug.

1am and I got a video clip of a very girthy penis working its way in and out of my wife’s vagina. I didn’t recognise her moans. I didn’t even think it was her until the camera moved to her face. Wow she actually did it. I was so aroused and then so proud of her and then excited with a twinge of jealousy before being aroused again seeing her enjoy sex and not be in pain by it. I didn’t realise until I watched the video several times that he wasn’t wearing a condom (they took appropriate measures for safety and pregnancy). Was this going to be the first time she had a guy cum inside her I thought? I later found out the answer was yes. We always used condoms when we would try penetration in the past. So new thoughts came to mind, and it was a lot to process.  

She came home happy, exhausted and a very different woman. Confidence beamed from her with a contentment on her face that told me things will be different from now on. 

It’s been a few days since this happened and I’m still processing the full account from my wife and what happens next. She had some guilt and waves of different emotions that have settled back to contentment and joy, We aren’t in any rush for another meet but it’s been an experience and journey that’s given us so much more than we’d expect. 

We aren’t sure how our emotions about this will develop into the weeks ahead. Any supportive advice welcome!