I stumbled upon this site and I read the story about a wife who is having a similar experience in 26 my fiancee is 27 we met in college. Before meeting him I was a proud slut I’d say I’m perceived as hot and I hooked up with a lot of hot guys. My Fiancée is super loving and supportive he’s a great provider but I still fantasize about the type of men who once made me scream and I lost interest in sex with my fiancée occasionally he’s gotten very frustrated and sometimes mean he also had less partners then I. I do believe different people have different strengths and no one person can do everything in my experience the guys who made me scream also were terrible long term partners. I’m thinking about bringing up chastity and if that goes well maybe cuckolding bc I need to improve my bedroom experience and when he brought up the idea of him hooking up on the side it really unnerved me bc for men sex is way different and instead of taking through things he immediately went to his need and id much rather he focus on my needs. I’d prefer to hear from other women in this space on how they think about this?
I hear where you’re coming from, and I think you’re already on the right track by recognizing that men and women process sex very differently. Men tend to sexually imprint on their partner and see her as the primary source of their sexual needs almost like a food supply. Women, on the other hand, don’t imprint in the same way because our sexuality is more fluid and frankly our opportunities are more plentiful. Our sexuality thrives when we’re given permission to explore. It can feel unsettling when he is focused on his needs primarily instead of slowing down to consider how he can center you and your needs.
Chastity can be such a powerful starting point here because it reframes his attention and helps him redirect his focus from release to serving you. It gently realigns the dynamic so your needs come first.
Cuckolding is much more advanced and definitely takes time, communication, and trust to build, but it can absolutely be an option if you both decide it strengthens your bond instead of weakening it. Start with role play and see how it lands, either full stop or keep testing the waters. Either way the key is making sure both of your needs are met both in and out of the bedroom because it comes as no surprise that if they arent, resentment will grow.
His needs matter too, but they should orbit around yours, and it sounds like you already sense that shift is necessary for you to feel safe & happy in your relationship. Good luck!
I feel like so terrible when I fantasize about past men not bc I loved them but I loved what they did to me they were a tool to accomplish something that doesn’t mean I don’t love my bf. He complains that I’m enthusiastic when I give blowjobs for example but it’s hard for me to be unless I’m with a guy I have strong physical desire for and a strong sense of submission my BF doesn’t bring that primal instinct out of me. He’s good at going down on me and I want our sex to center around that and chastity could def help accomplish it.
Its about accepting what he does and doesn't do for you. He doesn’t light that primal part of you up and acknowledging that for both of you is the first part. The second part is what to do with it, figuring out ways to make your relationship thrive despite that. Maybe that level of physical fire never really existed between you two, and that’s okay. You get to choose who you partner with, and some parts of passion just happen naturally, while others need a little extra work.
Would you rather have a simmering fire with the emotional connection and a flaming inferno in the bedroom? Or would you rather have a flaming inferno with your emotional connection and a simmering fire in the bedroom. I'd take the emotional connection every day of the week but that doesn't mean I won't be longing for more in the other aspect from time to time.
I hear you on the blowjob angle. I’d much rather watch Kev masturbate than give a blowjob but it doesn’t make it any less hot. We just adapt, focus on what works, and lean into what feels good and makes our blood flow. It’s about shaping the sexual dynamic around what sparks desire for both of you, even if it isn’t the kind of wild chemistry you had in the past.
I know it was asked for women to comment but I think you are both really downplaying the male prospective in this conversation. Quite simply look at the advice your giving Sarah recognize areas where your partner doesn’t meet your needs express them and find a way to have them meet through different partners. Her partner expressed an area where she was not meeting his needs “ a more passionate blowjob” you are unmotivated to do so and he suggested finding an outside partner to meet his needs. I think this is the fundamental flaw with this whole relationship concept. I don’t think man or woman you’re deserving of anything in a relationship that you would not be willing to give your partner. You speak about being uncomfortable with your man seeking sexual gratification outside of your relationship, as if he would not be experiencing that same uncomfortability but for some reason you feel he should adapt, and you should not be forced to. To me that will never be the basis for a healthy relationship.
I hear where you’re coming from, and I think you’re already on the right track by recognizing that men and women process sex very differently. Men tend to sexually imprint on their partner and see her as the primary source of their sexual needs almost like a food supply. Women, on the other hand, don’t imprint in the same way because our sexuality is more fluid and frankly our opportunities are more plentiful. Our sexuality thrives when we’re given permission to explore. It can feel unsettling when he is focused on his needs primarily instead of slowing down to consider how he can center you and your needs.
Chastity can be such a powerful starting point here because it reframes his attention and helps him redirect his focus from release to serving you. It gently realigns the dynamic so your needs come first.
Cuckolding is much more advanced and definitely takes time, communication, and trust to build, but it can absolutely be an option if you both decide it strengthens your bond instead of weakening it. Start with role play and see how it lands, either full stop or keep testing the waters. Either way the key is making sure both of your needs are met both in and out of the bedroom because it comes as no surprise that if they arent, resentment will grow.
His needs matter too, but they should orbit around yours, and it sounds like you already sense that shift is necessary for you to feel safe & happy in your relationship. Good luck!
As a submissive husband I can realy say this answAs a submissive husband I can truly say that this answer is spot on!
My wife has not yet cuckolded me. But if she wanted to, the door would be open. I am intermittently in a chastity cage and now always wear more feminine panties than my wife.
This makes me feel both more submissive and she can easily correct me and I focus on her pleasure 24/7.
Just play your cards right and you will quickly get a man who is attentive to your needs, obedient and then you will easily be able to cuckold him.
You will probably find that he brings up cuckolding as a possibility without you having to say anything about it first.
If I were completely confident that my wife would not look down on me and that she would not leave me if she got much better sex with another man, I would actually beg her to take a lover she wants.
I would have loved to be locked in a chastity cage and lick her clean if that was our only sex together. But I love that she still often lets me lick her even though we no longer have regular intercourse. 🥰
I stumbled upon this site and I read the story about a wife who is having a similar experience in 26 my fiancee is 27 we met in college. Before meeting him I was a proud slut I’d say I’m perceived as hot and I hooked up with a lot of hot guys. My Fiancée is super loving and supportive he’s a great provider but I still fantasize about the type of men who once made me scream and I lost interest in sex with my fiancée occasionally he’s gotten very frustrated and sometimes mean he also had less partners then I. I do believe different people have different strengths and no one person can do everything in my experience the guys who made me scream also were terrible long term partners. I’m thinking about bringing up chastity and if that goes well maybe cuckolding bc I need to improve my bedroom experience and when he brought up the idea of him hooking up on the side it really unnerved me bc for men sex is way different and instead of taking through things he immediately went to his need and id much rather he focus on my needs. I’d prefer to hear from other women in this space on how they think about this?
As a submissive husband I can truly say that your story and wish is so nice!
My wife has not yet cuckolded me. But if she wanted to, the door would be open. I am intermittently in a chastity cage and now always wear more feminine panties than my wife.
This makes me feel both more submissive and she can easily correct me and I focus on her pleasure 24/7.
Maybe get him to use pink female panties also. That helped me to be a mutch more submissive and greatful husband. Spansk him hard when he dissobey and true to get him to only give you oral sex! Sitting on his face makes him submisdive over time!
Just play your cards right and you will quickly get a man who is attentive to your needs, obedient and then you will easily be able to cuckold him.
You will probably find that he brings up cuckolding as a possibility without you having to say anything about it first.
If I were completely confident that my wife would not look down on me and that she would not leave me if she got much better sex with another man, I would actually beg her to take a lover she wants.
I would have loved to be locked in a chastity cage and lick her clean if that was our only sex together. But I love that she still often lets me lick her even though we no longer have regular intercourse.