I have known that my penis was on the small side my whole life. I’ve always been submissive, and I had a number of dominant girlfriends / mistresses who enjoyed giving me small penis humiliation. For some, it was all part of the BDSM kink. For others, it was genuinely felt - they had previous boyfriends who were much larger, and they really couldn’t help themselves observing and laughing at how small I was. My own kinks played in too - I would talk to a domme on the phone and then go meet her specifically to be made fun of, and to be made to masturbate myself in front of the domme and her friends, and then to eat my cum at the end. For me, SPH is a very erotic part of the overall humiliation universe, and I really enjoy them both. 

My wife told me a few years ago that my penis was small. After that is when i realized she ejoyed me licking her more than sex

My wife is the same. She enjoys me, but does not get joy from penetration with me. She much prefers I lick her. Her honesty has improved our relationship. No point pretending. I enjoy penetration 

I don't think there's any need to define a new average, since the old average was already nonsense.
Penis size is important for both men and women. For men, the feelings evoked by the penis during sex and orgasm are always the same, regardless of penis size. For women, however, penis size directly influences the resulting feelings.
Therefore, men define their general, theoretical sexual performance based on penis size, while women judge penis size based on personal, practical experiences and desires.
So what is an average size supposed to tell us? You can satisfy a woman because you're at least average? You're above average, so every woman must feel satisfied by you? You're below average and therefore inherently useless? That's what measurement X tells us—and numbers never lie?
There is no average. There's only usable or useless for (that one) woman.
I've had a few women in my life. Some were obviously very satisfied with my small penis, others were obviously extremely bored by my fucking, and still others somehow didn't care at all; they didn't place much value on penetrative sex at all.

Whenever the quality of sex came up, I was the one who brought up penis size. Yes, it came from me – it seems to be a male need to come clean about this? In any case, I had good, honest, and open conversations about the topic. The word average wasn't used once by a woman. Likewise, there were never any defined minimum sizes.

There was only good for me, okay for me, bad for me. Of course, not in such a strict classification, but with many intermediate levels and also packaged more politely.

From my experience, size matters far less than how you connect as partners. Once we took the focus off measurements and onto trust, intimacy, and exploring each other in new ways, everything changed. It opened the door to deeper closeness and pleasure that had nothing to do with being big or small.