My husband was just given the option of early retirement due to a decrease in business at his compnay. We have been discussing this as an option but I am concerned about what he will do with his days.
For those who have gone through a transition in your household what sort of ground rules should we establish? If he accepts this early retirement offer, I want to be certain that he won't just become a lazy bum. I saw that @tanjanest did a whole chore calendar and I really like that. Should we consider a formal signed paper contract to hold him accountable?
I love all of the perspectives on this site. Thanks all
My husband was just given the option of early retirement due to a decrease in business at his compnay. We have been discussing this as an option but I am concerned about what he will do with his days.
We sort of went through a similar thing. Although not retirement, the covid has me working from home and being the "big boss" at work, my Wife and I found that I had plenty more free time during the day than expected which has had a very beneficial effect on our Wife Led Marriage.
She still goes to the office every day and before she goes, I am given a list of things that must be accomplished before she gets home that night. As time goes on, that list has grown. Before covid, I was responsible for some household things like the dishes, but frankly not many. Now, I am responsible for (most) of the laundry, making the bed, basic food preparation and other routine basic chores as needed. By responsible, I mean if they aren't done there had better be a good reason ... or else there is punishment.
Over time, Ms. K has systematically increased the number of things i am responsible for in the household. She did so by using many of the motivators that are talked about here and other WLM/FLR sites. It was obvious and welcomed what she was doing in that regard especially given the new levels of loving WLM we have benefitted from by me being home most of the time.
It's just my opinion but there shouldn't need to be a contract or signed piece of paper to hold him accountable. Instead, lead him to want to be accountable to you by using the techniques Emma has throughout this site.
Good luck on your transitioning. It should be an exciting time for both of you.
Thank you. I do think there needs to be some sort of agreement up front but mostly because this is an optional choice for him. External circumstances have thrust many others into their situations and everything settled out in the best way possible. It may not necessarily need to be a written contract but I want to make certain that we have a chore calendar in place prior to his decision and his chastity cage needs to remain part of the equation as well.
Hi Rachel,
Good for you, showing him that while he maybe retired, he has a new boss? I think it is good for spouses to keep their retired men accountable for their time.
I retired early and we moved to a different part of the country, into a home that we are updating. My wife, being much younger than I, took a new job, while I stay at home. Retirement, gives you the luxury of being lazy, and it is far too easy to be such. My wife doesn’t tell me what to do, she knows that she can expect to come home to cleaned house and made bed. Other than that, I try to do at least one beneficial thing for us each day. I wish my wife would raise her level of expectations. We are also looking into locking me in chastity, as she knows that I masturbate when she is at work. She says that once I am locked, it will signal the beginning of a female led marriage. We recently purchased chastity sizing rings, once the size has been settled upon, a cage will be purchased. Getting the right size is more difficult than you would think, as we are finding out. One day you can fit a certain size, then on another, needing to go larger.
We went through this exact thing a few years ago. I was able to retire before my wife. I had planned on when I was going to retire for a long time. Before I retired, we did come up with ground rules that we both accepted.
As far as chores, I did the most of the grocery shopping, cleaned house usually late in the week and by Friday afternoon, all laundry was done. When the wife came home on Friday, the house would be clean, most if not all shopping done and an empty laundry basket. I also did outdoor things like mowing and keeping up some large flower gardens. I didn't want my wife to work all week and then spend Saturday or Sunday doing things I could have done. We didn't have anything in writing, but we did agree on chores. Oh, I took care of paying all bills etc., and getting rid of junk mail. The house would be clean and uncluttered every day and spotless by Friday.
Now, as far as a chastity cage, I am sorry to say most men left alone need one. Males will spend time on websites they shouldn't and masturbate a lot. I had a habit of edging for several hours a week. We started playing with a chastity cage and it just became something we did for a while. I was not locked 24/7, but was during the day nearly everyday Monday thru Friday. You will be amazed how much more your husband will get done when he can't play for extended times.
It was on before she left for work and she took the key with her. We have an emergency key in a signed, sealed envelope. I never had to use it though. I usually took it off after she came home, but did sleep in it sometimes.
I got way more done, not because she is so demanding etc., just because I didn't waste time masturbating or edging. We did this for almost 3 years, not so much now that she is retired. Being locked is comforting and although kind of arousing at the same time, it does calm things down where you don't want to masturbate so much.
We had sex on the weekend and sometimes she let me masturbate once during the week while she watched. There was to be no masturbating ever without her knowledge and approval first.
Hi Rachel,
I can concur totally with Russ195. I few years ago, well a lot actually in the dark ages of the pre-internet era when there was no online pornography etc., the company for whom I worked relocated and I wasn't prepared to move with it. Consequently I was made redundant and for 3 months or so I was a house husband. It was a pre male chastity device era, no one had even heard of them then and my marriage was a sex-free zone. Even without endless porno websites, when left alone to their own devices most males have a propensity to masturbate. I used to do a lot of housework, cooking and looking for jobs but I did spend an inordinate amount of time wanking. I'm not going to tar all men with the same brush as mine but men will be boys. Had my cock been locked I'm sure I would have been more productive during the day as there would have been more time to get stuff done and perhaps happier than I remember actually being.
Whilst I wouldn't go down a written contract route I would serious consider you having a chat with your husband and talk to him about being put into chastity. I think you will be surprised how accepting of it he will be. I know I would have been. If he is only allowed to have orgasms on your terms, masturbate with your permission and even only be allowed to masturbate whilst you're watching, I think you'll be surprised at how eager he is to go along with it to please you.
Go for it and good luck.
I think it might be wise to have either a written agreement or at least a very clear conversation about expectations. A sample day calendar might be useful too. I like the detail that TanjaNest had in regard to specific times. I think it might be easy for him to lounge around and procrastinate if clear times are not laid out for him to work on certain projects. Monday 8am-9am clean showers, 9am-10am her laundry, 10am-11am his laundry etc.
It is easy to work on a shared calendar so he can check off projects as he completes them and you can check up on his progress through the day. I am sure there are good chore list apps as well.
This is a little like a school timetable and too prescriptive. For me at least this wouldn't work as it is more likely get my back up. I'm capable of working out my own day, all I'd need would be a cage.
Hate to disagree with Emma on her own site, but I'm with @soundsofsilence on this one. Such a list would turn me into a bear.
Just put in for retirement after 41 years and I am locked 24/7 by a workaholic. Yikes! this is not painting a good picture for me.
Hopefully that chores list will include time for golf or fishing and let me manage my own time while assuring us both that I wont become a sloth.
Long talk on deck for tonight!
@soundsofsilence
I love that song. Especially the cover version by Disturbed. I think you meant to say @soundsofdelight. *grin
Tee hee. :-)) Can't beat the original but then I'm a boring old fart.
I'd probably plan out a few days in a very prescriptive manner and schedule free time into the mix. Perhaps pick a weekday or two as free time. How many times can you clean the shower, after all?
I would too. I get a list every morning .... working from home
Check this link to the video out. You can love the original and this amazing cover as well. 117 mil views. You'll get goosebumps!
Sounds of Silence - Live on Conan
Lol, sorry @soundsofdelight, probably dropped the phone 3 times in that reply and still missed it. Oh, well, didnt get to have the talk and my boss already asked me to reconsider, so looks like no retirement either way.
