The dictionary defines compersion as:
You can think of compersion as the opposite of envy. The envious response to the above would be feeling envy rather than joy when watching the toddler. Compersion is an interesting thing when applied to lovemaking. For example, my Kevin feels compersion when watching me have an orgasm even when he is not allowed one of his own.
Many would argue that jealousy is the opposite of compersion but I don't think so. Envy is wanting what someone else has and jealousy is being upset about losing what you have. These two emotions are quite complicated but they are similar at their most basic level and all of them stem from insecurity.
I feel that compersion is one of the markers of true love. If I feel compersion toward you, I am quite literally valuing your feelings over my own. If I am feeling envious of you, I am wishing to take the feelings from you and make them my own. Envy in a relationship is toxic and will poison even the best relationship in short order.
Lots of things can trigger jealousy and envy but watch for these specific red flags:
- Possessiveness - You are not his property.
- Low Self-Esteem - You need a guy who knows who he is and is comfortable in his own skin.
- Control Issues - I should probably look in the mirror on this one but I won't. I know that I wouldn't be compatible with a man who has control issues.
- Vulnerability - Communication is key here, we all feel vulnerable sometimes and it is essential to communicate those feelings with your partner.
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A most apt term for the couple practicing chastity. I can think of no better lesson learned, or quality experienced, for the husband.
While I have always been genuinely happy for my wife’s successes and pleasures, learning to enjoy her orgasms as if they were my own will be new territory for me.
David
Thanks for sharing the word, Emma. It’s one of my favorite feelings in the journey my keyholder and I are sharing. I just never knew what to call it.
It’s completely natural and normal for man to feel Compersion when woman orgasms,her orgasms become his orgasms. Retaining man redirect his enrgy,love,passion toward his lady, he is turned on by pleasing you,and taking care of your needs,you needs come first for him. Women merit,to be loved,respected,honoured,appreciated.
While I agree with you, some men see women as their property and they see a woman’s orgasms as finite. When a woman experiences an orgasm without him, he may see it as taking something from him. I’ve had boyfriends like this in the past and if you feel jealous of a woman experiencing an orgasm when you do not, you should spend some time thinking about where your feelings are coming from. Women, you should consider this to be a red flag.
High value man who practice consciously semen retention are not ejaculation oriented, they know this ruins their stamina, virility and relationship. They want to take care of their womans needs, pleasure, satisfaction, orgasm are their priority. They know when they spurt everything is finished, they feel weak, lazy, sleepy, don’t want to take care and please thier women. Only selfish, uncaring, unthoughtful, men treat demean, degrade and take women for granted in this way. Tantra tells it’s a nature way for men to retain to preserve his power and virility. Men who don’t practice s. retention during sex can not satisfy a woman. Women need more time to worm up and get aroused, a minute man is not enough for her even to warm up. Men respect your women, ladies respect yourself, don’t let man take you for granted.
When man retains women really can experience the best multiple orgasms, not only clitoris and g- spot but also a-spot, u,p spots and cervical amazing orgasms. With loving, thoughtful, caring it’s possible. Ladies talk to your men, teach and instructions them about your please. Real good hvmen want and crave to please, take care and serve you.
I agree with all the comments…I so enjoy giving my wife and orgasm, and take pleasure in her pleasure, and that I was able to provide her with it through my efforts. It’s a wonderful thing.
Emma; you said “when he watches you” have an orgasm. I assume, then, that your orgasms are brought about by him or by you. Do his feelings change, depending on how your orgasm is achieved? Personally, I’m not sure I’d enjoy “watching” so much as I do “giving”, but that’s just me. And that my wife prefers my tongue over most everything else, so I rarely get to watch anyway.
I’ve read a bit about this from Marie Thouin, super interesting!
It’s an interesting topic, men are givers by nature they feel compersion whet they feel and know their beloved ladies are pleased and satisfied. Yoga Girl said man find find pleasure in service toward his woman, it’s inside mans nature to please, take care of her needs,honour, adore, respect, serve his beloved lady.