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Excellent Emma. Thank you for sharing the benefits of pegging, especially for the Wife/Girlfriend.
Loved this:
“I find that a deep connection with my strap-on and harness is important and I know that sound stupid but allowing myself to feel like the strap-on is part of me helps me enjoy it more. Yes, this means wearing the harness around the house. Sometimes with the toy in and sometimes with no toy at all. This even means sleeping with the harness or toy. Hell, I am wearing my harness (minus the toy) at this very moment.”
Wow Emma, you nailed this one.
Your perspective of “Pegging is the primary type of intercourse that Kevin and I…” really hit home for me. It was something I thought about but didn’t verbalize until it was too late. While my wife & I tried pegging a couple of times, we were about to make it a more frequent part of our lovemaking. Unfortunately, that was just before her stage 4 cancer diagnosis and she went quickly. I do have regrets about not saying something sooner.
I completely agree that we have both masculine and feminine aspects to us and societal norms for behavior based on gender is way past its expiration date. Often, I would tell my wife she was born the wrong gender. She accomplished so much in life in spite of having to ‘swim upstream’ against the gender bias strong, successful women have to deal with that I never had to simply because of the genitalia between our legs.
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for your loss.
Lots of <3 and thank you for being a part of our community. Your wife sounds like she was a beautiful, strong and wonderful person.
Thanks so much, Emma… She was the best! The marriage we had was way beyond what I used to think was the ideal one. It was one beyond imagination & one I feel so fortunate to have been a part of.
“Pegging is the primary type of intercourse that Kevin and I experience together and it is because of the deep emotional connection that it fosters.”
When Andrew came into the picture, it seemed like y’all were headed in this direction. With intercourse with Kevin primarily limited to pegging, and with Andrew being the only one in the house not submissive to anyone … has a hierarchy developed that results in PIV sex for you coming exclusively from Andrew?
Actually we were primarily pegging prior to Andrew coming into the picture. It is just such an emotionally intimate way to make love. The relationship is still developing but it isn’t really a D(Andrew)/S(Emma)/s(Kevin) type of relationship. It is hard to explain but it ebbs and flows and is frankly hard to explain. Perhaps it isn’t a mature enough relationship to fully explain yet.
Thanks for the update Emma. I assume that PIV with Kevin hasn’t been eliminated, it’s just less frequent? Are the D/s dynamics specific to each person? In other words, for example, is Kevin submissive to just you, or to Andrew as well?
Wonderful article Emma, thank you for this.
So many points here hit home for me.
My wife has pegged me 3 or 4 times in the past and from the first time I said “this is something we need to do again!”.
Unfortunately it has not become anywhere near a regular activity.
I had thought that as I got older and potentially less potent that pegging may become more prevalent. I am still relatively able, but sex just has become much less prevalent as my wife is post menopause.
As I have gotten older I have discovered that we all have masculine and feminine attributes and that it is ok to be both.
You mentioned feeling sexy after pegging. Perhaps I have spent too many years lusting after beautiful porn models, but I crave feeling sexy. I wish that I could be one of those gorgeous girls who are lusted after. This has led to my interest in limited cross dressing, including wearing panties and nightgowns exclusively.
I have also discovered that I am sexually submissive and crave being dominated by my wife. I love it when she fucks me including when she is on top and love it when she calls me a slut.
I plan to share this article with her. I hope to be able to report back that it brings about more pegging for us.
Please do! If it does re-spark that fire, I’d love to possibly do a blog about it. Your journey sounds like it may be relatable to many others.
This struck a chord of truth with me. Great blog.
Hi Emma,
I’m brand new to your blog. I’ve been binge reading your posts the past week/week and a half, and I’m loving every minute of it.
I’m already into pegging (SUCH a big deal to me bc I loooove it), but I’ve been trying to introduce my man to chastity. At first, when I messaged him about it, he got super hot and bothered by the idea, and seemed super excited!! But whenever I’ve messaged and asked him to order a cage, he never acknowledges it or says anything about it. I ordered one tonight so I can bring over to his place on Christmas, but I’m worried that I messed up with how I talked about it with him in person .
I’ve basically said that I want him to last longer since he’s always done before me. And told him a couple benefits of less frequent ejaculation & of using a cage. However, I think I accidentally offended him. I asked him if I did, and he laughed and said that I didn’t offend him. He’s not a liar but I’m worried I really didn’t approach it gracefully when I tried talking about it in person and that I turned him off the idea.
He’s a very giving partner in bed, he’s turned on by my pleasure just as much as by his own. However, the whole point of me bringing up chastity cages is bc after reading your treasure trove/wealth of information on this, I recognized the negative behaviors and my own negative emotions in our sex life. I want to improve it.
How would I best go about talking with him about this again in a way that makes it appealing to him?
We’re both switches, but after all the information you’ve given me, I realized I cannot live without male chastity and a FRL.
Thanks so much Emma.
A
Welcome to the blog! There are two approaches that work very well. The first is to bring the cage up as a sexy game and go from there if it works for the two of you. The second approach is to communicate the benefits and your goals of using the cage in your relationship. I find that the former works better since it has a less clinical feel. Start small with very short goals and he will quickly become addicted to your control and leadership. Let us know how it goes, with both of you identifying as switches, yours might be an interesting story.
Thank you so much Emma! I will do the first, as you suggested. I should be receiving the cage by Christmas! I will update you once we’ve used it a bit.
Turn it into a sexy game and make him feel sexy while wearing the cage. Compliments and praise work very well. Read any of my blogs about teasing. Be creative with those ideas and help him feel aroused as frequently as possible. You are both in for an incredible time together.
We just started with pegging in the last couple months and I quite like the way it makes me feel. When I cinch up the straps on the harness and position myself behind him, I really feel like I am in control It is like nothing I have ever experienced sexually before.
The first time was intimidating and I had an irrational fear that it would be a poop mess everywhere.
Wow, ejaculatory orgasm is NOT an emotional game ender for men you ignorant twit! Its people like you and that sort of thinking that led me to believe females were emotionally stunted after sexual activity. Luckily I met a real woman who doesnt suffer from short attention span disorder. you are an idiot.
Tell me more about your perspective I’d love to hear your thoughts. It sounds like you’ve had some frustration in a past relationship with orgasm denial. Would you care to share more?
Negative,no frustration in the past with orgasm denial. only, women who s emotional capacity during and after sex was limited.
Dude, seriously? Ignorant twit? Idiot? No bueno! Do you find yourself having trouble convincing others on things you disagree with them about?
Im not trying to convince anyone of anything. I just take exception to being dumbed down and having people publish insulting. false literature about my gender and my emotional limitations
I’d love to hear more about your perspective. I understand that you found the blog to be upsetting but I’d love to talk through it and learn more about why you found it to be so triggering.
Perhaps your biology is different. You have multiple orgasms like women rather than one like men followed by a refractory period. Lucky you. For the rest of us we practice getting very close to orgasm several times and maintaining our desire and horniness over a long period of time. If only we could be more like you with a dick that stays hard after an orgasm and unlimited potential. But you definitely have a lot of testosterone, your reply was dripping with it. We welcome your input and insight, just not the anger. My wife and I found out decades ago that we regularly had an argument the day after sex. It wasn’t until the discovery of the idea of retention that we found a way around it. I NOW HAVE FEWER ORGASMS BUT MORE SEX THAN I HAD A THE AGE OF 20. I am in my late 50’s now. It goes on for hours rather now than minutes. We are closer and communicate more and have bonded more deeply than we ever could have back when sex was something I DID to her. Try to be a little more open minded, Emma was being a little sarcastic with her remark. It wasn’t meant as an insult but as an observation that men are often physically and often emotionally spent after orgasm and we want to just sleep, maybe in our girls arms, but sleep all the same. Cheers.
“I NOW HAVE FEWER ORGASMS BUT MORE SEX THAN I HAD A THE AGE OF 20. I am in my late 50’s now. It goes on for hours rather now than minutes. We are closer and communicate more and have bonded more deeply than we ever could have back when sex was something I DID to her.
This is just so excellent because it’s true!
Can a man be pegged without having an orgasm?
Of course.
What an emotional see-saw! I was caught between YES! and Limp emotional surrender. Instead of a strap-on, they do have Strapless ones now. Women who love pegging, that would giver them the ultimate pleasure.
What a great article. Very insightful