When I first picked up Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, I had no idea how much this book would open my eyes, not just to the wild, untamed spirit within every woman, but also to how I could better understand and enrich my own female-led relationship (FLR). This book feels like a map guiding women back to their instinctual, wild selves—the part of us that society tries so hard to suppress. I purchased the book because I hoped it would help reinforce my strong self and help reinforce my strength even on days when I was feeling weak but I realized that the lessons didn’t just apply to empowerment. There was something deeper, more intimate about how this “wild woman” energy could elevate dynamics in my relationship with Kev. If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it along with a few others that I'll be reviewing over coming weeks.
One of the major themes in Women Who Run with the Wolves is the idea that women have a strong, primal power. This "wild woman" energy isn’t about being chaotic—it's about reclaiming the deepest parts of ourselves that have been buried under society's expectations especially shame. The idea is to rediscover a raw femininity that commands respect, not just from the world but also within our relationships.
In my journey with Kev, I've always seen our relationship as a dance where I lead. But after reading this book, I realized that I've only just begun to tap into the potential of what I could bring to our marriage. In a female-led relationship, the power dynamic is everything. Understanding the wild woman archetype made me appreciate that the control I wield isn’t just about authority or decision-making—it’s about embodying an ancient, feminine energy that transcends words. It's instinctual, its natural and it is powerful.
My desire for female dominance and control in my relationship with Kev is, in many ways, a way of seeking the power that I often feel is missing from my day-to-day life. Like many women, I navigate a world that doesn’t always reward assertiveness or autonomy, and where societal expectations often ask us to be small, accommodating, and quiet. It’s not uncommon for me to feel constrained, whether by work, social norms, or simply the pressure to put others’ needs before my own. So, when I step into the role of dominance within my relationship, it’s like stepping into a space where I can finally own my power, express my desires unapologetically, and feel in control of something deeply meaningful. It’s empowering, not just in the sexual sense, but in a broader way that feeds into my confidence and sense of self.
This power dynamic with Kev gives me the freedom to explore the strength I crave but don’t always get to exercise elsewhere. In our FLR, I’m not confined to the roles society tries to impose on me. Instead, I get to lead, decide, and prioritize my own needs. The beauty of it is that Kev doesn’t just accept this; he embraces it with open arms, providing a foundation of trust and love that allows me to flourish. Through his submission, I’m able to tap into a power I’ve always had inside me but didn’t always know how to access. It’s not about controlling him for the sake of it—it’s about finding balance and fulfilling the deeper need for authority and independence that I can’t always express in other areas of life.
Let’s talk about erotic humiliation, something Kev and I have come to love in our relationship. Erotic humiliation has always been a form of play that strengthens our bond, blending vulnerability and power in such a thrilling way but also gives purpose to my need for more primal and physical than Kev can give. But before reading Women Who Run with the Wolves, I viewed it as just that—play. Now, it feels like something more, a connection to deeper primal energy.…
