FLR101: The importance of daily stimulation …and an awakening

We had a week recently where we were very much involved in other things other than our sex life.  My husband was preoccupied with things of a technical nature.  He was retaining semen, but we let the sex slide for the week so there was little stimulation.  Even though he was retaining, I still encountered attitude problems consisting of disrespect or treating me like his employee which is unacceptable.   Sometimes semen retention is enough to highly motivate his behavior, but nothing really beats semen retention combined with daily stimulation.  Again this is my husband, and your experience with your husband may vary, but I assume hormones and psychology are somewhat consistent.  We may both own Toyota Camrys, but mine may have quirks that yours doesn't.

Had I provided daily stimulation, I'm sure he wouldn't have drifted so far into an assertive and aggressive state requiring correction, but he also bears responsibility for the coming punishment as he should have foresight and keep the consequences in mind. This is where consequences are important.  As I've said many times, this does not require contact punishment to be effective.  I always advocate a weekly companion inventory where you sit down as a couple and inventory your wants and needs where both sides can openly express their feelings.  I find it useful to conduct these companion inventories while I sit in a chair, and he sits and washes my feet, and we can relax and explore the previous week together.  Through these discussions, I've come to know my husband very well, and I know his needs.  I understand he needs contact punishment, and I'm more than happy to provide that service to shape his behavior.

In the beginning I very much was neutral about the activity, and it is rare so it's no big deal, but I've discovered something new about delivering a strapping this time.  I discovered that I really am awakening to the enjoyment of delivering a strapping to my husband, particularly after a week where his behavior got so out of line.  Truly enjoying it.

This was Sunday, and he was scheduled for ejaculation.  I told him that ejaculation will be postponed maybe until Tuesday.  This really got his attention.  This is one thing us wives need to realize.   When we control the ejaculation schedule, we wield great influence over our husbands.  I explained why his special day would be delayed, and that before sex happens today, there will be a punishment delivered.  He insisted that it wasn't necessary, and he would be good in the future, but that doesn't take care of the inappropriate behavior that had occurred.  I explained that whenever he feels like he wants sex today, he needs to let me know, and we'll take care of it.  This is what's good about this method.  He will always submit to discipline, because he will always be driven eventually to a strong desire to enter me.  As women we need to realize we set the terms of entry to our vaginas and not to give that up lightly.  Eventually, he came to me and said he'd like to have sex.  I said that's fine, but there's business to take care of first.

I told him to strip and get on his knees.  I think it's important for him to be naked so his penis is displayed just to assess his arousal.  I notice when he's on his knees, his penis is standing straight up.  This will not be a successful punishment if that penis is still standing when I'm done.  Again, it's not punishment if it arouses him.  I restrain his hands as he can't seem to keep them away from his rear while I deliver his strapping.  I use leather cuffs with metal carabiners that clip into the headboard and put pillows under his pelvis to get his rear in the air.  This not only makes the target easier to strike, but it also displays the penis so I can assess the progress of his arousal, as well as his testicles that adds some extra fear as he needs to hold very still during his strapping so that the three tailed strap doesn't catch a ball or two because of moving.  It may be arousing at the start but quickly escalates with sincere tears and cries for me to "Please Stop!!!".  But of course it's only just the beginning.  It's important for him to have genuine remorse, and a desire to change. As far as I'm concerned the strapping hasn't started until his penis is completely soft after stripping the arousal out of the experience with 10 or 15 strokes with the leather strap, and then the punishment can begin.  After examining his soft penis, I can see he's definitely not having fun anymore, and then we'll start counting the strokes.  This is why this is rare, but I am really starting to appreciate this activity.  As we count, we'll stop periodically so his rear can rest, and he can explain to me why this is happening which is of course because he doesn't think before he opens his mouth, and he can also explain to me what his future strategy will be to make sure it doesn't happen again.  Then we resume.  My goal was 50, but he really could only make it to 41.  I could see that he just wasn't going to make it through that last nine.  My fault for not pacing the intensity right, and I might have been enjoying it too much.  Plus the 20 inch wooden drilled paddle is brutal.  In any case, I could see he was filled with remorse, and sincerely wanted to change.

I've gained deeper insight into this activity since we started a year ago.  Men are taught early on that boys don't cry.  Men conceal their feelings and aren't prone to displays of vulnerability.  I can see how this would bring a couple closer together as the wife has the power to bring the husband to a state of tears.  As he discovers his place, it brings us closer together.  It's a very intimate experience between husband and wife.  It also appears to be a very bonding experience that a man won't experience in any other way.  His heart is genuinely turned toward the wife seeking forgiveness.…