2nd November 2020
Last night was my first night 'wild' after the 34 days caged of Locktober and the tail end of September. I had been looking forward with great anticipation to being unlocked and expecting fireworks when I was finally allowed to get my hands on myself. But it didn't really turn out that way. I gave myself a long, slow, oily handjob whilst fantasising over mistress doing the hands-on business. Even so, at one point I was struggling to maintain a hard-on and when I did finally cum it wasn't anything special. After 34 days of complete abstinence, it was nothing special? Something's definitely wrong there. However, I went to sleep pleasantly relaxed and slept well but woke up this morning feeling thoroughly deflated if not a little depressed; an emotional response I've read about in this site but not one I've personally felt before. In light of this experience I much prefer to be locked up for the night rather than being allowed to go wild. During the past month I've actually looked forward to being caged far more than being able to play with myself. Unless my mood changes, as of now, mid afternoon in the UK, I'm definitely going to be caged tonight. I wonder if (for me) long term chastity is not the answer but rather a week or so at a time.
I am proud to have made loktober in honor system. I have not yet been released. But I can still hold out.
Well done @servant, especially with the honour system - takes a bit of doing I know.
