Is there any putting the genie back in the bottle? Is there hope for the relationship?
No, you cannot put the genie back in the bottle. You cannot un-ring a bell. You cannot be uncucked. For these reasons and more, it is absolutely essential that any couple venturing in the direction of cuckolding better be really fucking sure they know what they want, where they are going, and how it will be once they get there and beyond. Too many people get a fantasy in their head, start gooning about, it and recklessly risk their marriage to bust a nut quicker than they were ready ... even though they all said they were..
ty for the feedback I appreciate your thoughts
I would have to say yes, even though as the small penis cuck it’s not what I’d want, but just being realistic. But only if the woman wants it to start back up again. She will never not need the fulfillment you/big dicks give her. And he ultimately has no say if he loves her and wants to stay together. So if she decides she needs you/your cock again then it most definitely can rekindle.
While I agree with the assessment above, that you can't really put the genie back in the bottle so-to-speak, I do firmly believe that where there is love and communication, and desire to preserve a relationship, there is always hope for a healthy path forward.
My Queen and I have been playing with male chastity for over 15 years, and started describing our marriage as an FLR about 12 years ago. We had an open relationship before we got married, which presented many opportunities for growth and learning to deal with topics like loneliness or jealousy together as a couple. Situations like taking separate semesters abroad in college meant there were lots of times where one or the other of us had the chance to play with others while the other might have been somewhat isolated and lonely. Over the years, we tried the swingers scene, then kink/BDSM, before we stumbled into enforced male chastity, and for the last 8 or 9 years we've identified as a cuckold couple. And although we never thought polyamory was our thing, there was a 3 year stretch where she had a steady boyfriend. Everything has changed for us countless times throughout our marriage, and even though I'm kept in chastity more or less 24/7 these days and always identify as her cuck, we do take breaks. Having a boyfriend meant there was a long stretch where she didn't meet many new local men who might make good Bulls. Breaking up with him created a long stretch where she lacked any desire to meet new men entirely. There are times when real life gets in the way of her ability to schedule play dates. She's a C-level executive in her organization and we're busy parents, so free time for sexy play is often scarce. There are times when work stress or health issues affect her libido, or her desire and bandwidth for maintaining a lot of control or creative dominance.
My point in sharing our history is to illustrate that all relationships go through different stages. Ours has evolved and changed a lot over the years, and even though we have embraced a cuckold lifestyle, we're still evolving. We still consider our marriage a work in progress. We still have periods where what we need from each other as partners shifts, and one or both of us may need to adjust our approach or our expectations. I believe that we ccan navigate anything together as long as we prioritize completely open communication and trust one another's love and commitment to the relationship. In my humble opinion, that communication is what makes any of this possible, and I believe it can do the same for anyone else.
My wife enjoys bigger dicks than the one I have, and has enjoyed the freedom to fuck other men when she's been able to partake in that. That much is fact, and there's no changing it. But we are still in control of our relationship and how we approach things. We've gone through times where I didn't really feel like a cuck, and she didn't really feel like a Cuckoldress. I'm incredibly grateful that she communicates her desires, needs and expectations so clearly and thoroughly. I'm indescribably fortunate to know that she is always open to hearing about and validating my feelings, and I trust her to love and support me no matter what kind of issue we need to tackle as a couple. When one of us isn't happy or needs something to change, I know we can work through it together to come up with something that works for both of us. There are always options like going back to an open relationship, or maybe a vixen/stag situation that doesn't involve power exchange.
I also know a couple who went full bore into things when they first started playing with cuckoldry. The husband experienced a lot of jealousy, discomfort and grief, but their initial approach was to lean in harder, like they both expected that he'd "get used to it" or "be broken in" if they went all in on her Dominance, his submission and humiliation, etc. But what he gradually learned over time is that a lot of the ideas that felt hot and exciting to him as fantasies were too intense when we was in the moment. He got all up in his head, as they say, when. his wife was out playing, and would go into irrational panic that led to some really unhealthy things, such as encouraging her to cuck him harder, only to give her guilt trips about it when she came home. More than once he woke her up in the middle of the night insisting they needed to have some kind of existential discussion right then and there, when she'd gone to bed thinking things were fine and was trying to rest before big days at work. Eventually, it was apparent that their arrangement wasn't making them happy. When he discussed it with her calmly and rationally later, he was able to express the things that were making it hard for him. Where they ultimately wound up is that they didn't want to go back to a vanilla relationship. The genie was well out of the bottle in that regard. But they decided trying to put him in a submissive role wasn't natural for him and caused both of them a lot of grief. And he learned that he still finds it hot to see his wife with others and enjoys giving her freedom to play, when there's no humiliation or power play involve and she doesn't stay out all night or all weekend without him. For the last couple of years their situation has been somewhere between couple who swings or a stag/vixen relationship, and it's worked out very well for them.
I apologize for the long wall of text. To try to sum all this up, my advice would be to frequently check in with your partner. Take an honest look at what you want and need individually, and discuss it together when you can be calm and open about things. Really listen to her side, her feelings, her needs, and what it is that she's enjoying or not enjoying. Approach it from a place of commitment to being as facilitating to her desires as you can, without losing focus on the things you need to be healthy yourself. Be honest with yourself and each other about what you both need, and be ready to compromise or look for new paths forward when something isn't working for one or both of you. You can't undo the fact that she's been with someone else now that it's happened, and elements of the direction you've been going may be things she wants to hang on to, but that doesn't necessarily mean there's no happy way forward, or that your marriage is automatically doomed. You tried something together. Now assess and communicate how it makes both of you feel, and set about figuring out where you can take things from here that might work for both of you. Just my two (thousand) cents.
