Hi, I'm a guy who read through a lot of the blog posts tonight. I have a question about it and was frustrated not to see a direct answer.
So the main idea of the blog seems to be gender role reversal in a relationship. And in a few places the author hints at or alludes to the fact that she has sex with her guy, but he doesn't cum. Is this true or not?
So what I was expecting to read about is a role reversal of the stereotypical sexual encounter where the guy's orgasm is pretty much guaranteed, but often the woman may not have one. To me, the ultimate role reversal of this would be actual PIV sex where the woman has an orgasm but the guy does not. Is the author actually doing this with her partner or not? The blog seems to hint at it, but beat around the bush and avoid an actual discussion of it which seems like sort of a cop out to me. In one place she links to an article where I expected to see it discussed. But instead, there is a description of the guy wearing a strapon in addition to his cage and having penetrative sex using the strapon instead. There is no challenge to this because there's no feeling for the guy just wearing the strapon!
Look, I think it would be really hot if a couple could get to the point where the woman has such control over the guy that when they have PIV sex and the guy has the stamina and control to fuck her and give her an orgasm with his actual penis and then she stops the session and puts him back in chastity. I would like to hear from the author whether they are doing this or not. In the same blog entry as the strapon, it was mentioned that if the guy masturbates 1 or 2 hours before sex, he will be more controlled and able to last longer. But again, the author never really describes in detail what one of these sex sessions might be like or how it might work. It seems like it would be very challenging for the guy and there would be the danger of an accidental ejaculation. But that's part of what makes it so hot in my opinion. The potential danger of loss of self control resulting in an accident and then punishment. But instead there's all this discussion of toys and devices to *force* compliance and eliminate the very possibility of accidents. When you take away free will and chance, things become robotic and cold. And then there was all this discussion of tangental topics like sph, cuckolding, etc. These are tangental to the central topic of role reversal sex in my opinion.
Anyway, I'd love to hear comments about this and maybe a future blog entry on this topic, thanks. I apologize for sounding critical and I really did enjoy the blog - it was arousing, so thank you.
I have always been a bit of a slow cummer, and through a little practice I now have PIV sex with My Queen for as long as she likes without cumming myself. I am often "ridden wet and put away hard" ... a most delicious and satisfying state.
@dplaything Could you explain a bit more ? What sort of "little practice" did you do to be able to do that ?. I'm curious to know.
So much of it for me is mental and where I put my thoughts. If I concentrate on my pleasure, I can get to the edge rather quickly. If I focus exclusively on her pleasure I can go for as long as she wants.
Some training we did was:
- non-PIV edging to learn where the point of no return was so as to not cross it.
- having PIV sex and slowing down when getting close, and then picking up the pace again.
There were some "oops" of course ... but no full orgasms, just ruined ones as I would stop immediately to try and control myself. I did have a couple of experiences where I stopped, thought I had it under control and then the cum would just start flowing out. No spurting, no contractions, no orgasmic sensation ... a very weird feeling.
Good luck
@dplaything I tried the "ruining" method a few times. Every time, he starts leaking / flowing semen for a second or two and then spurts out the rest. If I stop earlier than that , he can't cum at all.
@dplaything I tried the "ruining" method a few times. Every time, he starts leaking / flowing semen for a second or two and then spurts out the rest. If I stop earlier than that , he can't cum at all.
This is dplaything's Queen - if you are satisfied and he cannot cum at all, then I would say that you have achieved the goal. Well done!
Thank you all for the responses. UPDATE: I've continued reading and exploring this site and I found the yogagirl FLR 101 blog posts. After reading these, they answered many more of my questions about PIV with no ejaculation. Although I still am curious what the initial transition period was like for them when they first started having PIV sex frequently but he was only allowed to ejaculate once per week. Tons of great content here, I think I will check out the forum section for yogagirl next.
Maybe it helps you to look at the whole thing like a sexual game where only the rules that have been agreed upon apply? The person who sets the rules is the woman, while the man is just a petitioner.
Exactly how the lady's sexual fulfillment takes place, what the boyfriend or husband is and isn't allowed to do - this determines whether games like cuckolding or corporal punishment and so on take place and how they are applied.
But remember: these are all serious games!
Same. My KH says "You don't come. I come lots". And that's what happens mainly. It's hot as fuck to hear this.
When I am allowed a ruined I'm have to clean it up. It's my choice. I don't have to come if I don't want to do this.
Kh enjoys making me do this which is a good thing because it means I do still get to come in different ways, depending on weather she wants me to sit on my fave, clean her breasts or snowball it to me.
We have so much sex it's insane. But it's different sex now. I'm always horny and I'm used often.
I... We have never been closer, so attractive to each other, so in love and so happy together. So odd as it may seem. To us it's fixed a 20 year marriage and given us a beautiful new life.
My wife loves when I cum, so I am very rarely denied an orgasm during sex. But it's always her choice now. Everything is always her choice now, and I've learned to be quite content respecting her choices. Hard even for me to believe, but true.
For us I am not allowed to cum
without her express permission. I can go a long time inside her due to having great stamina and also being aware of my own body. I usually give her two-three clitoral orgasms before she gives me permission to enter her. From there it’s slow, long, thrusts that increases her arousal even further leading to additional orgasms for her, often 4-6 more, including squirting. She loves this. Eventually she will be ready for me to cum. I then ask for permission and if she grants it we usually will orgasm together. Sometimes she says “I’m done, you’ll have to wait until next time.” In that situation I usually stay inside without thrusting and eventually withdraw. fLR is all about her making the terms of sexual engagement. I am simply here to please my queen and I love doing so.
So in my relationship my wife is the Dominant and I’m clearly the submissive. We had a couple pegging sessions 2-4 years ago but haven’t revisited it even though I told her that I loved it so much she could do that to me any time she wanted. The second time she pegged me I had the most intense orgasm I ever had. It was amazing. We have pretty steamy sex where she is clearly the leader and I’m the follower. She enjoys doing minor CBT to me and loves playing with my taint. She typically takes top position and I open my legs and let her control the pace, the deepness and everything else. I coo and moan for her and I know it really turns her on. So my question is how do I take this woman who clearly enjoys the dynamic to take us to another level where she can really explore the sexual ownership she has over me?
Let me add that I’m trying to get her to more deeply and thoroughly explore the pretty obvious proclivities she has for being Dominant, especially in our sex lives. I tried to introduce her to male chastity but after playing with it a couple times she decided she wasn’t into it. As I mentioned she controls how we have sex including my asking for her permission to cum. For my own arousal I wear a cage when she’s at work(I’m retired early). So I’m for sure into it and I know she is too. I’m just looking to nudge her a little bit deeper into taking full sexual ownership of me? I’d love feedback from anyone who has some perspective.
I’m trying to get her
Hello, MightyThorbeta! Don't try to force it. Remember that your thoughts and worries are only in your head. What you think about for years, days and hours may not exist for her at all. Even if she is aware of your fetishes, it may not be very attractive to her. That's not a bad thing, just give her time. Have conversations about it in a suitably relaxed atmosphere. Emma writes about this a lot and it works.
There's a lot of information on this blog about how to gently guide your partner towards fetishes, read it.
Also let me recommend you some books that give good guidance on how to start a conversation about chastity cages with your woman:
Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders - Lucy Fairbourne
Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority - Elise Sutton
Be sure to read removed link - they do an excellent job of describing many of the blocks you may face from your wife in this matter. It will help you work through her objections in a proper and timely manner.
Hope this helps!
@caged thank you very much for your feedback. I read the Sutton book and it was very enlightening. I intend to slip the book into her luggage with a handwritten note from me when she goes away for a long weekend at the end of the month. It should engender some interesting discussions when she returns. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks again
