Greetings. I'm Diane, a married professional who's the Dominant half of Female Led Marriage. In true female fashion I'm not going to share my age but suffice to say I recently became eligible for AARP membership :). Like most couples in the lifestyle our relationship has evolved over time with the usual bumps and bruises. Chastity is a big part of our marriage now. hubwife has been locked about 99% of the time for 6 years, 8 months and 2.5 days (at the time I write this) but who's counting? Life keeps me pretty busy but I'll try to log in here when possible.
Wow. Welcome Diane!
At over 6 years, I think that makes you the most experienced on the site. I'd love to hear more about the last 6 years, 8 months and 2.5 days next time you stop by.
@evolvingyourman_ivcr4j I'm sorry Emma, my mistake. It's been 5 years, 8 months, etc., not 6. I'm less of an expert than you think. LOL. I'll make the correction and share more when I have more time. Keep up your own good work.
Thanks so much. We will be here!
Has he been locked 99% of the time for all of that 5 years, 8 months and 2.5 days?
Mine's been locked 99% of the time since Nov 2018, so I'm curious to know how it is for someone who has done almost three times that long.
Very nice to meet you Diane. Can't wait to hear more.
@mstara Hello Tara, In a comment to Emma's post "Can Long Term Chastity Cause ED" I wrote the following: "Long term chastity can cause penile atrophy. The seriousness of the problem obviously depends on several factors. The most impactful of these would be the amount of time spent in chastity, the age of the person being locked and any other mitigating health factors. This is something to consider if ED and size reduction are a problem for you. " Emma has a post coming up on that same subject. Penile atrophy is reversible to a certain extent, again depending on various factors. Unfortunately, there isn't any legitimate medical research that I know of that studies the effects of male chastity. Much of what 's been written that I consider useful comes from urologists and other medical professionals who know the most about that part of the anatomy. Good luck with your chastity lifestyle. It appears as though you're off to a great start!
@mstara And yes Tara, it's been that long for hubwife. In the beginning the goal was set at 50% of the time. Within a week it went to 75% and by the end of the month, I decided to try and make it as full time as possible. With the exception of being out for hygiene purposes and other times with my permission, "she" is locked. I have safeguards in place to ensure there are no "unauthorized" exits from the cage.
@mstara And yes Tara, it's been that long for hubwife. In the beginning the goal was set at 50% of the time. Within a week it went to 75% and by the end of the month, I decided to try and make it as full time as possible.
It's interesting that you planned in advance a target figure for his lock up. In our case it developed more organically (not orgasimically!) with the period of lock up extending over the years.
I think one of the key points for us a few years back was Locktober. We tried this really as a bit of fun the first time, as we'd never tried a whole month without release. What we discovered that longer lock up was not only possible, but that he became accustomed to the change in mind set of expecting to be released at regular intervals. I think it helped that he knew the end point, but it set a precedent and led to some longer lock ups in the next few years. Finally of course it has resulted in where we are now.
I do take on board Emma's thoughts, experience and research on how men react to being kept in chastity. However I'd suggest that for long term exponents of the practice the pattern morphs into something a little different. My husband now actually doesn't like being unlocked for any significant time, it's like he takes comfort in having his penis controlled and the absence of the cage somehow makes him vulnerable and exposed.
He's far happier when he's safely got his penis 'put away' as Emma puts it, of course, that suits me too.
My husband now actually doesn't like being unlocked for any significant time, it's like he takes comfort in having his penis controlled and the absence of the cage somehow makes him vulnerable and exposed.
While I have not been locked for as many years as your husband I feel the same. With my wife being the working and me staying home I feel like it helps keep me in a proper mindset to be more productive than I would otherwise. In addition to the feeling of mental security, the cage is physical representation of her willpower extended to me. The trickle down effect of that control bleeds into everything I do.
Also Welcome Diane. It is nice to see even more experienced women joining in here. I look forward to hearing some of your insights
"My husband now actually doesn't like being unlocked for any significant time, it's like he takes comfort in having his penis controlled and the absence of the cage somehow makes him vulnerable and exposed.
He's far happier when he's safely got his penis 'put away' as Emma puts it, of course, that suits me too."
Absolutely. This is something a lot of people just getting started in chastity lifestyle may nor understand as it first seems new and foreign, but after chastity has been reinforced as a rhythm and lifestyle and the male has learned that it is possible for him to go several weeks or more without a release, psychologically it becomes more difficult to go without the cage. I agree with your husbands thoughts that my penis feels sooo exposed and vulnerable when uncaged and not in play and I am even more prone to anxiety when not wearing it. Fortunately, the ladies in my life rarely allow this (I have 3 keyholders as I explained in my intro). I am nearly always locked unless they want to play with my penis-and a good deal of our play time now occurs while I remain caged. They are helping me learn not to be a slave to my own cock and that there is such a realm of possibility of pleasure and enjoyment without it as well. This is possible because I know I can trust them and they do regularly focus on keeping me edged and teased still with a release around every couple weeks. The conclusion is that I am much happier being able to please and trust them-and especially to trust them to safely put my/their penis away until they want it out again.
Hi @dianej and welcome to the blog. I do hope you'll share more from your experience!
Out of curiosity when you say "With the exception of being out for hygiene purposes and other times with my permission, "she" is locked" are you meaning to use "she" to refer to your hubwife or the penis? I can appreciate that that is how you are referring to your hubwife, if that is what you intend. But I can also see value in "she" referring to the penis as the implication is the penis is feminine and thus owned by you. Do you often use "she" or other feminine words when describing the penis?
@johnny-is-caged Well Johnny, I must admit that I've never thought about it that way. You've given some interesting "food for thought!" As our relationship matured I began using feminine pronouns when referring to hubwife. When referring to her penis, tend to use "it" or "clitty." Using "she" would give it an entirely different meaning on several levels.
Many thanks for sharing. I like it!
@dianej, You're welcome! 🙂 Clitty, makes sense as well but I do hope you'll start incorporating feminine pronouns for it. I can imagine the new meaning that may be provided through statements such as "She is going back in her cage now." or "Have you been keeping her clean and well-shaved for me?" I wonder if a goal could be to use these pronouns regularly enough with your hubwife that they start to both think and refer to the penis as well with feminine pronouns. Outside of other connotations, the implication would be that the feminine penis belongs to you and not to him.